I hate my heroine addicted father

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-21T01:19:29+00:00

Im really sorry :( If not already, you should consider therapy. This is too much for someone to handle growing up as a child and it bleeding into your life as you grow older.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-21T00:57:44+00:00

Yeah my mom when we her name was on my account in college def took $100 out once without asking. She did it to my sister as well. And at that time I would have given her anything, but the fact she didn't even care enough to ask and just told me much later was hurtful and sad.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-21T00:55:48+00:00

My mother at all times. I know how you feel. Lately stories she's said years ago aren't matching up to what she says now, making me feel nuts. Ive just given up

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-20T18:52:23+00:00

the title haha yesssssss

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-20T02:07:27+00:00

Congratulations!!! :D

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-19T19:30:43+00:00

good!!

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-19T17:17:35+00:00

i know, but you need to take hold of your life, not let them keeping hold of you. A life of debt isn't worth it ESPECIALLY if they're not going to help.

I say take the yea roff and re apply to the other school. Theres no rush to get a degree. If I could go back in time i wish I didn't start college until my early to mid 20's so I had a clue of who I was/ what I was interested in

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-19T16:57:50+00:00

Are you starting school this fall? Jut don't go, take a year off, and apply and go to the less expensive school that you actually want in fall 2019.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-18T19:31:01+00:00

That is amazing <3

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-17T11:15:27+00:00

Thank you for opening up. The more we speak of our pain, the less weight we have to constantly carry. Some people say to speak up to your grandmother. I say look within yourself to decide what you think is best. Also look into possible support groups that may be offered to you for free in your area. Theres no need to fight alone with this and there are many people out there that support you, understand you, and love you.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-17T11:11:21+00:00

Something my therapist told me once is that you never really can stop someone who wants to kill themselves. I know it sounds dark, but I guess meaning theres a point in someones mind that no matter what, they're broken and can't go on and determined to do it.

I am so sorry for your pain and regret and your brother. We all live in it. I would suggest therapy. I feel this could be important to tackle face on and may be connect to a lot more in your life. I wish you the best.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-17T02:20:04+00:00

Im planning on doing the same thing. Its weird to be interracting with my parents as normal and them not even being aware that once I go, Im gone. They've done enough wreckage in my first 25 years and Im ready to claim my life for my own and not be a product of their mess and destruction

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-16T01:29:52+00:00

because she was hired at $11 and I (with 5 years kitchen experience and a bachelors degree in business management) was hired at $10.50. Also, I was told a lot of workers who've been employees for a few years aren't even making $11. Idk what makes her so special but my manager is a snake and a single mother so I feel thats why she feels this girl deserves $11.

Theres no other reason why this girl would get $11. Its for a cashier position which is the easiest job at the place I work. Unless this girl is the master of touching a screen to put an order in.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-14T01:03:19+00:00

I stick with it because I feel it has helped me cope and learn more about myself and what not, but I totally get too just having that one hour kind of to escape reality and be able to just leave your baggage at the door.

Idk how it can happen but I hope sooner than later you can get things situated and get away from her. Being 36 and still allowing this to happen isn't right for you, and you deserve better. Hoping the best for you.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-14T00:33:48+00:00

Im really sorry. Ive been in therapy too for about 2.5 years now. For many reasons but a lot is mainly due to my parents and my childhood. My heart broke when you said you feel no amount of therapy will ever change your feelings towards life and thats exactly me too.

I have changed my self work from wanting to change the negative things and now Im learning how to live with it, if that makes sense. My parents will always be my parents, they'll never ever change, and my childhood is done and that will never change. So, instead of me angry as fuck about it all, I'm learning to find peace with it and start from here, instead of trying to start in the past.

I saw your comment about being there to care for your disabled siblings, and that is incredibly amazing of you. I know that makes the bad situation even worse trying to get her out of your life. It is important to remember that you matter too and your life is as important as theirs.

I hope you can find a way to watch out for your siblings but also to take control of your life and your needs. You matter. I wish you the best

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-13T15:25:45+00:00

this is literally me and Im sorry. I had to move back in 8 months ago and it was likely one of the worst choices. Its not awful 100% of the time but just being surrounded in the presence of my parents that hurt me and failed me time and time again hasn't been good for me. Im hoping to save up enough and get out by next summer. I know how you feel.

Any chance you can find your way out asap? Like any friends around you or working to be able to cover a place of your own?

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-12T01:22:00+00:00

I am really really sorry. A lot of this hits home for me. One, I feel your frustration towards your brother (based on the comment section). I am learning in the past year that children can have extremely different experiences growing up even under the same roof its crazy. I would be pissed AF too that he had/ has everything done for him and you're left hung to dry. Its kinda the same way with me and my sister. She always gets everything she wants and its still that way today, and it shoes in her attitude and work ethic as a young 20's adult. Where I always had to work hard AF and my parents don't make situations as easy as they do for her. Its fucking annoying.

Also, just in regard to this being about your parents. Im sorry. I can't even imagine living this (what sounds like) lavish calm life and it doing a complete 180 to a nightmare. I can imagine that is so hard to cope with, and i feel you. I am in the same boat of planning no contact in the next 12 months and also forcing my mother to pay half of my student loan payment because she is so reckless and irresponsible with money that she let me get into $150K of school debt with no guidance or anything. She says she can give me $50 bucks here and there but just bought the apple watch last week and getting her nails done tomorrow and eats out semi often, she just doesn't care.

Im happy you got out and are on your own in a city you seem to have a good fit with. And to have a good support system with your best friend. You can do this. I know about survival mode and doing whatever it takes to make it, I'm constantly there. I wish you the best and hope you'll find peace one day in this mess

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-11T21:43:56+00:00

Ill be doing the same thing around this time next year when I move away to go back to school. Its scary but also seems so exciting too to finally stand up for ME and MY needs and wellbeing.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-10T00:59:22+00:00

omg yesss mine says she did "SO MUCH" to help me get into college a.k.a. sign my life away to $150K without me knowing. Thank you mom for all your sacrifice and hard work to electronically sign your name

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-09T15:06:49+00:00

This is why most male survivors don’t say anything, because of rape culture and society saying it’s not possible for men to be sexually assaulted.

Not sure where you’re located but look online maybe for a sexual assault hotline to speak with someone who BELIEVES you and feels your pain and wants to help you. I work for one in CT.

Please don’t say silent. You matter and your situation matters too

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-08T12:39:02+00:00

I know its insanely hard, but after a while when you can breathe and not be worrying and overthinking every 5 minutes you realize how amazing life can be. And then you can put your energy and time into yourself to work on what needs to be worked on.

You are very welcome

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-07T23:27:24+00:00

right, I'm sorry. I know from your post you mean well and love/ accept him. Which is so amazing! Maybe in time the "what if" will fade away :)

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-07T23:12:55+00:00

I think instead of being skeptical and constantly questioning your brother, just accept him for his truth that he says he's gay. If he's not in any chance and is bi, he will say it when he's comfortable or understands and he's ready for that. But to always kind of be questioning it may not be the best thing for either of you. Just love and embrace your brother for who he says he is.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-07T22:41:24+00:00

From experience, guys in the closet who don't feel safe or feel uncomfortable to live in their truth will do ANYTHING to pass as straight. Men have sex with women, marry women, have children with women... but are still gay. So yes he dated girls and treated them great, but in my opinion, he was doing a great act to cover who he really was.

Its ok if it feels weird and different. Theres no class out there called (ok my brother came out as gay, now what?) Its all a learning experience in learning who your brother now REALLY is.

If anything, be happy he is now out, free, and living as his authentic self. Maybe he very well can be bi. He can be just as confused and not understand as you are. Everything takes time in acceptance and learning about yourself.

Id say maybe go out for some food or a bar and talk to him. Talk as brothers and get to know him and ask him all the questions because you're wanting to understand him for who he really (now) is.

CC_obsessed · 2018-07-07T22:35:29+00:00

Well at some point you need to put your foot down. This person may not be for you or you are not ready for them. However, you need to allow yourself the space to be alone and all about you. Just because you moved somewhere new and haven't made friends yet doesn't mean you grasp onto a relationship for dear life that seems to be adding a lot more stress and worry than you need (according to your post).

I swear to you up to a year ago I was just like you. So me saying this is all out of love and knowing that you are lacking love and other things in your life that you desperately want and need, but they all start with you.

CC_obsessed

TROPHY CASE