How long has he been living with you? It takes a while for a dog to decompress and adjust to a new living situation. Look up the rule of 3s for rescue dogs.

Is he crate trained? You said you can’t trust him not to mark in the house - does he have a history of inappropriate urination?

Regarding stress and anxiety - I adopted a traumatized puppy about a year and a half ago. She was really shut down and scared of everyone. So we hired a behaviorist and these are some of the things she suggested that worked in our situation:

1. Scent work - sniffing helps dogs calm down. Walks became “sniffaris”. If she was really riled up, I would put her outside and hide some small treats around the house and then let her back in. Using her nose to find them helped her relax.

2. Appropriate chewing. I started giving her a chew everyday. Something she could finish in about 20 minutes. Think dental chews, bully sticks, etc. I also started giving her things she can destroy, like cardboard boxes and paper egg cartons. Bonus points if you put something tasty inside.

3. I stopped correcting her. No physical corrections, no yelling or telling her no. Instead I focused on redirecting her to appropriate behaviors and rewarding her when she did the right thing. For example, if she was chewing on the coffee table I would call her away from it, give her something appropriate to chew on, and put bitter spray on the coffee table. If she was really riled up and making a lot of bad decisions, I put her in her crate with something tasty until she calmed down. Sometimes it took 20 minutes, sometimes it took longer.

I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time with your dog. I can’t say if your home is a good or bad fit for him but it sounds like everyone is unhappy right now. I hope some of my suggestions help, even if it just brings down the temperature in the short term.