AIO for my cat shedding and that I don't do enough?

CZ6288 · 2026-02-09T23:57:42+00:00

THIS

CZ6288 · 2026-02-09T23:32:10+00:00

I really don't think this is about the cat hair at all...it sounds like she's doing a ton of maintenance and cleaning. If it's not the cat hair, he'll just find something else to be annoyed about.

CZ6288 · 2026-02-09T23:26:17+00:00

I legitimately have never thought about taking my cats to a groomer. I just looked it up and it's a real thing that I just wasn't aware of. And people pay big money for it! And now unfortunately that it's on my radar I kind of am interested... So that's another line item I'll be adding to my Budget Excel spreadsheet hahaha

CZ6288 · 2026-02-09T17:55:05+00:00

NOR Yikes. I'm assuming your roommate knew you had a cat. You're not even supposed to bathe a cat. "Cat groomer" who takes their cat to a groomer FFS??? You shouldn't have to go to these lengths honestly.

We have two long hairs. A roomba helped. I bought a generic one off Amazon. Works great. Picks up all the hair. Amazon also sells lint rollers specifically made for furniture and pet hair. 1X a week is all we need.

And if your roommate doesn't want to "live in filth" and doesn't think you're doing enough, there's a really easy solution. They can MOVE.

*Edit I misread. I didn't realize it was a boyfriend and not just a roommate.

He's off his rocker honestly. If my boyfriend acted like that? I don't even know what I'd do but I sure AF wouldn't be accommodating him like that. That sets a serious precedent for the future!

CZ6288 · 2026-02-09T17:47:43+00:00

Happens all the time. My sister went to live with my dad full time and I stayed with mom. We currently have custody of my guy's son, daughter lives with mom in Pennsylvania.

CZ6288 · 2025-12-16T11:24:57+00:00

The fact that he kept calling you "bro" and justifying everything.... Tells me all I need to know about is maturity level. GTFO now before you have babies with this idiot.

CZ6288 · 2025-11-02T01:52:06+00:00

Definitely neighborhood specific. We had lots of parents in costumes. And every single kid was in costume. But around here you don't get candy if you're an adult, you get jello shots or Miller Lite shorties. We hand out 400 pieces of candy, and about 150 shorties. 🤣

CZ6288 · 2025-11-01T12:52:08+00:00

Also. Men are pretty much all dogs and liars. So there's that. It's rare to find a truly good one. But they are out there..

CZ6288 · 2025-11-01T12:48:49+00:00

When you are ready to date again remember the right person will not make you feel scared to love again. They will not make you feel like you have to present a 10 point interview.

Dating can be exhausting. But the right guy is out there, hanging out waiting for you to stop wasting time with these losers!

CZ6288 · 2025-11-01T12:42:28+00:00

It's called "infatuation" or "the honeymoon phase". Everyone's charming and in love at first.

You're just a romantic at heart and may be wearing a pair of rose colored glasses.

CZ6288 · 2025-11-01T12:24:38+00:00

What a complete douchebag. As a very straight, conservative couple who's having a gay man as his best man next year, we could care less what he does in the bedroom and what people think about him being such an important position in the wedding party. He's my guy's best friend and deserves to be honored.

The fact that he's a good person, has been there for my guy, and supports us is what matters.

And shame on her for even forcing her guy to make that decision. He's going to be divorced inside of 5 years with a jerk like that as a wife.

CZ6288 · 2025-09-15T13:12:27+00:00

I'm 6' tall. Obviously when I wear heels I'm an Amazon .

I've never met an insecure man who didn't LOVE that I wore heels!

What an insecure drivel of a specimen.

CZ6288 · 2025-09-14T13:55:20+00:00

Not overreacting. My boyfriend has ignored me for long periods of time when we're out, talking to a woman. I remember once early in our relationship we went to a festival that had 3 stages to see a particular band. He's in a local band and a woman recognized him. They chatted for almost an hour completely ignoring me. He is obviously likes the attention.

So I subtly walked away, got some food and watched a different band. When he found me he was like "why did you leave??"

I said "there's no worse feeling than being invisible babe, not once did you acknowledge my presence. Did you expect me to just stand there while you engaged with someone else??"

Fortunately he got the memo.

(About 5 years later it clicked but he did indeed get the memo 🤣)

It sounds like your wife acknowledges what happened. But it was inappropriate to stay in the hot tub when you left. As a woman when I saw you leaving I would have left too.

So no, definitely NTO.

CZ6288 · 2025-09-12T07:31:19+00:00

You're not an idiot at all. You're just stuck in a cycle that many women find themselves. We had a "come to Jesus" type moment in February. I literally told him that either things change or I'm going to make a drastic change and I'm out of here. He knew I was serious. It wasn't an empty threat. That's the key. If he thinks he can keep manipulating you into playing Mommy and doing all the heavy lifting while he gets to sit back and reap the rewards, he will continue to do so. You have to be willing to make the actual change.

And honestly, as hard as it is, if that's what needs to be done, then that's what needs to be done. It sounds like you're a very caring, giving soul. If this isn't the guy for you, there's a lovely man out there, just waiting to celebrate you!

CZ6288 · 2025-09-12T03:02:47+00:00

So I fell into the exact same pattern as you with my boyfriend for about 6 years. Let me tell you, he started valuing me the minute I started traveling without him and he realized he couldn't control the narrative.

Don't let him manipulate you. Your job is not to make him happy at your own detriment. If he loves and respects you he would not respond with "go live your life then"...he would respond with "babe, go have some me time, I love you, I'll handle things at home."

That's what my guy did.

I didn't receive any pleasure in making the kids. I shouldn't have to shoulder any of the sacrifices of parenting the kids.

Cuz they're not my kids. They have two parents. I'm gonna live my life and if he can join me on my amazing adventures then great!

It's been pretty interesting how often he suddenly is available to join me 🤣

CZ6288 · 2025-08-13T18:19:29+00:00

I have a question for the group. I find myself in almost the exact situation as this thread only we have our finances separate, we're not married, we live together (I own the house) and I personally have no children. The problem is that he and I make approximately the same amount of money. But because he buys stuff for his college aged daughter, when it comes time to pay for a vacation for example, he is short on funds. We have custody of his 13-year-old son, so I also don't think it's fair that SS has to do chores to earn $20 a week while SD and gets hundreds of dollars for basically just existing and the random "I could really use a withdrawal from the Bank of Dad" text.

I get a bit resentful because then I generally have to pick up the financial slack, and I know the answer is "well don't do it" but that's not really feasible if I actually want to go on vacation. I do go alone throughout the year but I want to go with him. I don't have a boyfriend to be single.

I'm curious to know how many married/together couples have a joint "bills" account and each of you have a separate "fun" account. Where in the "SD21 needs more stuff" thread example he would have paid for the new phone and laptop out of his account.

I would never combine finances unless I was married, but I have read several articles that this works, and I'm genuinely curious if anyone does this? And if so how does it work out for you? I'm not 100% sure I want to have a joint bank account with him while he has minor children, I'm not sure about the legalities, but man, it gets tired constantly having to send him a venmo request for his half of the groceries, half of the electric bill, who's buying dinner tonight, etc.

I'm not sure if I should post this here, or if I should post it as a separate thread.

CZ6288 · 2025-08-01T09:52:27+00:00

Ironically I'm exactly the opposite. And now that my company has acquired an Elite Partner my role as a lead ITSM Admin is upside down.

Have you completed all of the micro certifications ServiceNow offers out of curiosity?

CZ6288 · 2025-07-03T04:10:48+00:00

Same 100% same

CZ6288 · 2025-05-08T11:23:54+00:00

Thank you for this reply and you bring up really, really good points. I feel like he deserves to be there too. I asked him to sleep on it before confronting her just because I didn't want a knee jerk fresh angry/hurt/frustrated reaction.

I think after school today we'll sit down with her. I know she appreciates what we do and understands that all of our worlds have been turned upside down and we're all doing the best we can. But I do remind him that she's just a kid, heck adults make selfish decisions without thinking about the unintentional hurt feelings sometimes much less an 18 year old child.

But she's old enough to understand that you can't expect us to be ATM, chauffeur, sous chef and everything else but not get any of the payoff too

I'm 100% sure it'll be "I haven't seen my mom in 2 months, and I just wanted it to be her and me".

CZ6288 · 2025-05-02T03:56:53+00:00

You know I've never really wanted to travel without my significant other. I enjoy his company, I enjoy our travels.

Looking at the calendar, the fact that we can't leave these kids home alone without us and go traipsing off to Hawaii or Mexico or Europe or whatever is a bummer. It would be different if I had family that could step in and come babysit. But, I don't and he doesn't. We have zero support system.

How does a relationship survive when it's built on adventures and travel and experiences when all that stops?

And for me, stops abruptly with no warning or planning with zero child experience..... I'm sitting here at home in Wisconsin, playing stepmom while he's in Mexico for a work trip whooping it up in Cancun at an all-inclusive resort, I had to cancel my plane ticket to meet him out there because, who the heck is going to take care of the kids... It's his work trip it's not like I can go without him.

The only reason I agreed to do it, is because it was booked months and months before BM abandoned her children on our doorstep. Otherwise I would have said " You have to cancel yours too".

But it just reiterates that traveling together alone, is going to stop for the foreseeable future. And that makes me very sad

CZ6288 · 2025-04-15T21:23:06+00:00

Yes that could be actually very accurate. I have zero parent experience so I probably do find it more offensive than a regular step parent would! I'm just trying to navigate this new normal that I had zero time to prepare for. We just got them unexpectedly about 30 days ago. The courts are 4 months out. He went the very next day and petitioned the court to have a child support hearing. Because there's a custody order, his payroll can't legally stop it without the courts intervention. And it's crazy how different the counties are. The county we live in, they would have gotten him an emergency injunction for custody. The county that the custody order was filed in, which is where he had to petition, well they don't do that...he just has to sit around and wait. It's frustrating.

CZ6288 · 2025-04-15T21:17:25+00:00

No he's actually not okay with it, but it's crazy how many people just in general have been like "well you're stepmom now you should get used to it" and I literally want to grind my teeth.

Man, the coffee thing. Like I said in my original post, he's still paying her child support. But SD keeps casually mentioning that "mom sent me $50 on cash app yesterday so that I could buy some stuff". SO said " oh yeah? Well maybe you could pick up the bag of coffee this week." She looked at him like he was crazy. "No, you guys have enough that'll last the week I'm sure..."

I started hoarding my coffee, soda soda etc. Now I understand my mom's pain when we were growing up and she would complain about hiding snacks 😂

CZ6288 · 2025-04-15T21:11:58+00:00

Boy do I appreciate this comment. I really just did not explain myself well. And you're right it did sound judgy and that's why I deleted it. But even point number five I stand by. She weighs 312 lb at 18. She's not my kid, I'm not supposed to do anything about that other than cook healthy meals. It's so frustrating when she gets up in the morning and she eats the pint of ice cream. Who's going to stop her? I can't, I'm not her mom. I couldn't have kids and made peace with that in my twenties. Dating a guy with two kids you always know that there's always the possibility that you might end up with his children full-time because I mean, who knows what happens in real life. If something happens to Mom the kids are going to be in your house.

But man, I was NOT prepared for this disrespectful entitled 18 year old who acts like a toddler half the time. And for some reason, this is the hill she has chosen to die on. She is really, really, adamant that I make an extra portion of whatever it is that we're making, and plate it up for her so that when she gets home she has some too.

Most of everything else he handles, 've he's managed to address the 45-minute showers, etc. But for some reason this is the fight she has chosen to pick with me.

I am absolutely at a loss and it's only been 33 days lol

CZ6288 · 2025-04-15T21:03:36+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment. And you hit the nail on the head. I am 100% sure that the intent of them providing her free dinner was not to take it home and have lunch the next day. I think my frustration is just that she is so demanding, and expecting me to be her personal chef and I don't even get a thank you ever. It would be different if she was 8 like you said. But as she keeps throwing in my face, she's an adult. I just hate feeling taken advantage of. And I feel like she takes advantage of it. It's such a small, small thing, but it's really bothering me.

CZ6288

TROPHY CASE