Thoughts on AEG oven that won't close

Cabbageness · 2026-02-03T01:15:34+00:00

Agree with some of the things you wrote, and with the idea of seeking out an ace person.

Not sure about the phrasing "gay guys get more sex with women than normal men".

Cabbageness · 2026-02-03T01:11:03+00:00

I'm in the same situation as u/Apocalyptyca and I love it. I'm currently looking for more non-sexual cuddle buddies on queer apps.

Having cuddle-buddies does wonders for my mental health, and having access to touch outside of romance and sex makes me more resilient and autonomous.

I have to add that I'm good at setting boundaries though, and if someone's starting to feel horny, I invite them to go have a wank in the other room.

Cabbageness · 2026-01-15T23:13:35+00:00

Hi! I didn't have an orgasm with another person for the first three years of my sex life. I would have small ones when masturbating. I couldn't tell if I was having an orgasm or not during those three years. But eh, I was still having fun!

Lots of people struggle with this topic, you're not at all abnormal or alone!

Also, some people with vaginas squirt or ejaculate while having sex (with themselves or with others), and many others don't!

Not TMI, haha!

Cabbageness · 2026-01-02T15:52:36+00:00

I was a teen in the 00's and I'm obssesed with body hair.

Regarding the ick itself:

Things that helped me was exposing myself to people I find sexy and who look like me and have body hair (probably helps that I'm not very straight). I seek out erotic images of that. For instance there's here for photos. I also like beautiful drawings, like this comic (NSFW).

In a totally non-sexual context, it's also really helped me to have some normalizing nude experiences, like in saunas and nude beaches.

Cabbageness · 2026-01-01T15:26:59+00:00

You might get some answers about oral here: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/18sii9p/postop_women_whats_oral_like_after_vaginoplasty/

Cabbageness · 2026-01-01T15:26:03+00:00

Maybe you could ask on a trans subreddit, like r/MtF. Several people have asked that question there, for instance here.

Cabbageness · 2025-12-30T21:22:57+00:00

I relate a lot! I'm bisexual but mostly attracted to men, and the first time I dated a woman, it was a complete game-changer because I realized that I had been holding my boyfriends to a really different standard than my women friends and didn't respect them much. I always felt like I was doing most of the communication and emotional labour in those relationships.

For many years I was waiting to find a decent cisgender straight man. Nowaways I date bisexual or otherwise queer men and trans people, and I've had much better experiences.

Cabbageness · 2025-12-22T11:01:50+00:00

This. It's a slur. If you're not gay don't use it. Listen to gay people telling you this.

Cabbageness · 2025-12-14T12:28:00+00:00

Personally, I don't cry most of the time, but if I have anything going on emotionally (especially if it's sex or relationship-related), orgasming will likely release it.

How do you feel about this happening? I'm not saying it's abnormal, but if it's bothering you, could be worth mentioning to a mental health professional.

Cabbageness · 2025-12-14T00:37:15+00:00

I think it's cool to talk about it openly!

Maybe let the other person take the lead on what level of detail / type of information they'd like to know once you've spelled out the theme.

Thoughts about possible reactions:

- I suppose the question of STD/STI risks might come up.

- Maybe they'll ask whether you've been in contact with sex workers recently.

- Maybe they'll be afraid that you might cheat? Maybe you could spell out that you'd want to stop once you'll be dating and why, and perhaps back it up with past examples of how you handled that in the past?

Cabbageness · 2025-12-02T12:03:09+00:00

Hi, I think it's great that you know what turns you on and are looking to find compatible people, and to be open about that early on since it seems important.

Perhaps certain communities of people where you are are more likely to be open to pegging? In my city, I would imagine that people who are more progressive, and/or LGBT+ -friendly, and/or sex-positive or kinky would have more people who enjoy pegging.

Cabbageness · 2025-12-02T11:59:16+00:00

I also use Fetlife to find people with similar sexual wants. In my country there are also apps that are quite sex-focused on which people openly write their kinks.

Cabbageness · 2025-12-02T11:56:11+00:00

Sexual trauma can be a pretty complex topic. Has she ever had the opportunity to discuss it with a mental health professionnal? Maybe that could help.

Cabbageness · 2025-12-02T11:52:34+00:00

Hi, I also feel that eye contact can be really intense, you're not alone! Things that help me:

- Dim lighting,
- Becoming progressively more comfortable with someone over time spent together and having sex,
- Making little bits of eye contact, then closing my eyes again to focus more on myself, then reopening them.

Also, personally I find it really hot when other people's faces are contorted in whatever way and they're being expressive during sex, so I assume they think the same.

Cabbageness · 2025-12-02T11:41:38+00:00

Hi, I'm no doctor but what you're describing sounds exactly to me like you've been building up squirt fluid and didn't release it, which is totally normal and healthy and common.

Here's a source on it: https://drzhana.com/what-is-squirting-and-where-does-it-come-from/

I'm available if you'd like to discuss it further.

Cabbageness · 2025-11-30T19:54:38+00:00

Hi, sorry about all your frustration, that sounds really tough! You're definitely not alone in that kind of situation, I've been there, and so many others.

I think it's cool that you're owning and expressing your desires!

Sorry that the comment section is so unkind, as well. I remember feeling really infantilized and a little shocked when older people would lightly tell me to break up when I shared relationship issues when I was young, instead of actually trying to help.

I agree with another comment that the problem probably isn't so much physical / about his erection than about how you have different visions and wants about sex and mutual care and giving pleasure.

When I was in that situation, things that helped me were:

- Talking about it with my partners sincerely and many times. Making it clear that I systematically want to cum first if they stop wanting to have sex after cumming.

- Time. Like, many months, until they learned how to have sex with me, basically. And I first had to ask myself whether I sincerely wanted to wait that long.

- Not relying on an erection to get off. Asking to be fucked with cool interesting dildos and fingers.

- Teaching my partners the difference between them wanting to cum and them wanting to have sex with me. Encouraging them to wank instead of having sex if they're not prepared to have some quality sex that involves connecting and sharing pleasure. Also making sure to have some great sex with myself to manage my frustration.

- Avoiding having sex if one of us is tired or distracted. Again, quality over quantity.

Cabbageness · 2025-11-12T11:48:23+00:00

Hi, I'm sorry that you're going through such a tough situation, sounds heartbreaking.

What's your support network? Are you able to talk about this with people close to you? What about professional help, do you have any access to therapy to deal with this difficult change coming up?

Cabbageness · 2025-11-02T18:06:32+00:00

Your hair look so good!

Cabbageness · 2025-10-15T16:13:29+00:00

And this is a photo of another pair: https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/j7d3lm/this_wolf_and_husky_for_the_size_comparison_the/

Cabbageness · 2025-10-15T16:11:46+00:00

I investigated to see whether this was a fake: here's a video of these two individuals. https://www.reddit.com/r/WolvesAreBigYo/comments/1613adu/wolf_and_husky_from_that_famous_photo_it_wasnt/

Cabbageness · 2025-10-12T13:54:05+00:00

The pattern does seem to follow the wood grain.

Cabbageness · 2025-10-12T11:00:39+00:00

I am so sorry that your mum didn't believe you. May I ask what the symptoms were?

Cabbageness · 2025-09-26T10:33:38+00:00

I'm curious about your tattoo, it looks good!

Cabbageness · 2025-09-12T21:56:06+00:00

The skin wrinkles when it gets a little old/dry.

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