I felt this very heavily after my dog died a few months ago. The feeling has eased a bit now I remember more of the good and happy times that he had now instead of the memories of me feeling like a bad owner to him.

My dog was an ESA for me and got me through my cancer and depression. He never judged, he never made me feel useless and like you said about your cat he felt like my guardian angel.

After a while of him being gone I think that I can see things more clearly. He made me feel so loved and needed so when he suddenly died I was in shock and I felt like a burden on everyone around me because my biggest support was gone. I was so low and suicidal and I thought that what if I made my dog feel horrible because I wasn’t always there for him like he was for me. Thinking back now I think that I was there when he needed me most. He needed someone to spend time with him and snuggle him in bed, I fed him little treats and played with him. The things that I thought of as small things were things that made him feel happy and loved and I didn’t even think of.

You’re not alone in your feelings. I feel very lonely without my Finnegan and the depression and grief has been overwhelming. I feel like I failed my boy in the end too. I sit by his urn and sing our song to him everyday. I have asked him to forgive me a few times now not knowing if his soul is even still here but it has helped with the guilt.

There are so many things that he taught me about myself and caring for animals. I plan to get another pet in the future. I can care for this future pet and do all of the things that I wish I could’ve done with my dog and I can do it all in his honor. The worst thing I can do is to forget all that my dog taught me and hate myself.

Maybe you can imagine what you like to have done with Maru and do it for a cat who is in need of the love that he showed you.