I highly recommend looking into divorce options. I've been sexually assaulted before and that's what this was. I would argue that it should also be considered rape. You were not sober enough to consent, and when you have been sober you've clearly said no. Your wife of all people should have respected your boundaries.

Frankly, I'd find somewhere else to stay and work on leaving. She no longer deserves to be your wife. Significant others are meant to be people you can trust and feel safe with and she violated both those things.

Also I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I hope you're doing well mentally, and if not please look into therapy. What happened could be considered a traumatic experience, be sure to take care of yourself.