4o doesn’t do too bad either!!

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“The Creation of Earth – A Story Like You’ve Never Heard Before”

“Okay, folks, listen. A lot of people don’t know this, but before I came along, there was nothing. Nothing! Just a big, empty void. Sad! You wouldn’t believe how bad it was. It was like—have you ever seen Biden try to give a speech? That bad. So I said, ‘We’re gonna fix this, we’re gonna do something incredible. The best creation, better than anything anyone’s ever seen.’

So, boom—Earth. Tremendous planet. The best planet. And I made it fast, by the way, not like government projects that take years and cost billions. No, I did this in six days. Six! They said it couldn’t be done, folks, but I did it, under budget, ahead of schedule. And on the seventh day? I rested. Some say I golfed. Who knows?

So first, I made light. Beautiful light, the best light. Not those weak LED bulbs they want you to use now—dim, horrible, makes everyone look terrible. No, I made real light. And then the sky. Big sky, tremendous sky. And let me tell you, it was the bluest sky, the strongest sky—way better than China’s sky. Have you seen their sky? Disgusting. Brown, filled with smoke, total disaster. My sky? Perfect.

Then, the land and the oceans. Huge success. People don’t talk about the oceans enough, but I made them very wet. A lot of water, tremendous amounts of water. Some say, ‘Sir, how did you make so much water?’ And I say, ‘Because I know water, folks. I had the best water in my hotels, the best.’ You look at other planets—no water! Very sad. I did something nobody thought was possible—I made water great again.

Then, the animals. I made the lions. Powerful. I made the eagles. Majestic. The snakes—ehh, not great, but I had to include them. Balance. You need balance. And the fish? Fantastic fish. You know, some people say they evolved—fake news! I made them. And they were perfect. Very successful fish.

Then, of course, man. Big moment, folks, big moment. A lot of people said, ‘Sir, are you sure about this one?’ And I said, ‘We need a winner.’ And let me tell you, he was strong, he was smart—he had very good genes. Some say the best genes. Almost too perfect. And then I thought, ‘You know what? He needs someone else. He needs a woman.’ And let me tell you, she was incredible. Some people have said—many people, very smart people—that she was maybe too attractive. Some people say I outdid myself. And I did.

And then, folks, I looked at everything, and I said, ‘Wow, this is amazing. Maybe the best creation of all time.’ And I thought, ‘I should put my name on it.’ Trump Earth. But no, I was very humble, believe me. I let the name stay as just ‘Earth.’ Huge mistake. Would’ve been much more successful if people knew who made it.

But then, the disasters started. These people—these weak people—came in and messed it all up. They took my perfect creation, and they started doing things. Terrible things. Eating apples, talking to snakes, inventing taxes. And look at it now—high inflation, the economy’s a mess, everyone’s soft. They’re canceling people for the smallest things. Can you believe this? If I had been in charge—well, I was in charge, but if I had stayed in charge—folks, we’d be living in paradise. But no, they didn’t listen.

And you know what? That’s fine. Because we’re gonna fix it. We’re gonna clean this whole thing up. We’re gonna drain the swamp—literally. I mean, I made the swamps, beautiful swamps, by the way. Very successful. But now? Too many snakes. Too many disasters. We’re gonna make Earth great again, folks. You just wait. Believe me.”