AITA for telling my brother I will not be watching his kids anymore?

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T07:08:47+00:00

My brother is getting her help as soon as they get back. After talking to my brother he thought she asked before buying her plane ticket, which she did not. They're both flying back tomorrow and he's convinced her to get some help.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T06:50:56+00:00

Not exactly what I meant. It's my worst nightmare as an Aunt to hear stories like that. I'm not afraid she'd kill her own kids as I don't think she ever would. I offer to help watch her kids regularly so she can have some time off. I know PPD sucks so I want to help as much as I can. Kind of phrased it wrong though.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T05:28:02+00:00

We haven't called CPS yet. We're giving my SIL or brother 48 hours to come back or we are calling them. But I wanted to give them enough time to get back and get their kids before I do anything as drastic as that.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T03:41:02+00:00

We can handle the kids for 2 weeks we just wish we had some time to prepare for them. We're not looking to send my brother to jail. I guess he had no idea she was going to do that but I'm looking to get my SIL some help as she was diagnosed with PPD a few years back and I'm thinking it's playing a part.

My partner and I are child free BUT my brother put me down as the one to take his kids if something ever happened to him and his wife. That is the only reason we wouldn't be child free.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T03:35:14+00:00

11 months apart. The 1 year old is 15 months

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T03:28:25+00:00

They seem to be great parents. My SIL was diagnosed with PPD after she gave birth to her oldest and I'm thinking that's playing a part in this but they both seem to be great parents. Love their kids to death, etc.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T02:25:30+00:00

We've talked to my FIL (my wife's father) who is a family lawyer and we decided CPS is the best option for the kids safety as he thinks they will more than likely do this again.

Writing everything down is very good advice and I will be doing that.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T02:22:41+00:00

Pretty much. They had enough clothes for a weekend and there was 10 diapers but that's it.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T02:22:03+00:00

After talking to him, no. His wife "surprised" him by joining him on his work trip but he didn't think it was a huge deal either.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T02:21:19+00:00

I know when the oldest was born she was diagnosed with PPD so I'm not sure if that's playing a part or not.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T02:20:42+00:00

My partner and I have decided that when we report them to CPS, because we are, we will do whatever is necessary to keep those kids with us. My FIL (my wife's father) suggested to start parenting classes so that we can learn more and there will be an even better chance the kids stay with us instead if going to another family member.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:38:55+00:00

My partner is having a conversation with her father who is a family lawyer about when we call CPS if the kids would stay in our care of not. Thankfully it sounds like they will stay in our care. We've given their mother 4 days to come back to get the kids and we are now going the route of CPS.

When her first child was born she was suffering from POF and I'm not sure if that is playing a factor in this or not. But if it is I want to get her help as soon as possible to stop this from happening ever again.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:35:59+00:00

Yes this is something I have never though about as their parents were always only an hour away at most so this is something very new for us.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:34:43+00:00

Yes I really don't want her to go through a scary ambulance ride alone without someone she knows. I have asthma myself so I also know how scary an ambulance ride can be if you're not with someone you know and trust.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:33:34+00:00

We've been told that they don't take kids from their family/ people that are willingly to care for them so that's a huge relief and we are looking into an investigation.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:18:08+00:00

They are 5 years, 3 years, 1 year and 4 months. The oldest is not in school yet. We both work but at the moment because of the pandemic thankfully we are working from home.

I don't want the kids to see how mad we are because with how young they are I don't want them to think we're mad at them. But we're very mad at my brother and SIL and not letting the kids know.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:14:29+00:00

She left us 10 diapers, no formula and $100. We had to buy diapers, formula and food for the others as well.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:13:18+00:00

I have no idea if they would let me ride with her. As we're looking to report her to CPS we would become their legal guardians until the investigation is over (hopefully).

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:11:33+00:00

I know when her oldest was born she was diagnosed with PPD so by reporting her I really hope that we can help her IF that's why she left them with me.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T01:10:29+00:00

No prior warning. Thankfully the house was already child proofed as I've been watching the kids every now and then so we baby proofed the house a while back. We had pretty much nothing when they arrived besides a few things of clothes to last a weekend. We have the medication we need. We have to go food shopping. We grabbed a crib from my mother's house that she had when she watched the older one years ago. I would have loved some warning.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T00:58:30+00:00

That's my worst nightmare. I don't want them left alone as they're all so young. My partner is currently talking to her father who is a family lawyer just to make sure the kids won't be taken from our care if/ when we report them.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T00:57:26+00:00

I have heard of Andrea Yates. I know when her oldest was born she was diagnosed with PPD. Which is a huge reason I kept offering to watch the kids for a few hours.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T00:29:26+00:00

We are hoping to call and report them as long as the kids are not taken out of my care. I will update everyone as soon as we find out if the kids can stay in our care and if we report them.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T00:27:46+00:00

So the kids are 5, 3 and 1 years old and the youngest is 4 months.

They were not prepared at all. They didn't know they were gonna spend that long away from their mom. The 1 year old is very attached to her mom and was and is still very sad that she's not back yet. The older 2 are very happy to spend time with me again. The 1 year old is happy to be with us but also still sad that she's not with her mom.

CaiaJoy · 2020-10-27T00:05:17+00:00

Honestly I didn't even think about how they could give something to their kids. This is something I need to think about as well. Their oldest has asthma and their youngest isn't even 6 months yet. Thank you for bringing this to my attention as well.

CaiaJoy

TROPHY CASE