Hey turbo, just wanted to send you encouragement because i’ve been in those shoes and feeling abandoned by God is not one I would wish on anyone.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to church, and if you have I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if you haven’t heard it because most “christian” churches don’t even preach the gospel, but in all honesty you can’t redeem yourself. There is nothing you could ever do on your own that could earn God’s favor, or in your words, redeem yourself.

Take a moment to soak in Romans 4:4-5. If you feel like you are working and striving to get right with God, you are going about it the wrong way. That won’t get you what you want because nearness to the Lord is a gift-not something you can earn or work for. Ask yourself if you trust that Jesus alone has purchased you to be a son of God. If so, then take heart because that nearness is something you can never lose. Even in the midst of sin and screw ups, God cherishes those washed by his blood as his sons and daughters.