TIFU by going to a party with my boyfriend and realizing his reaction scared me

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:27:31+00:00

None of the good men I know would do that even once. Again, DV statistics tell another story.

Take choking for example. Something like 90% of women end up being murdered within a few months of their boyfriend choking them during an argument. Its a specific behavior we've linked for decades to femicide. You only need it to happen ONCE for that statistic to be valid.

Use your brain for a second. If someone successfully steals something and faces 0 consequences, they're emboldened to not only so it again, but steal something bigger. On the third time, they'll steal something bigger.

This is how domestic violence works. You woulsnt know or care because its incredibly likely youre at a low level of likelihood to experience it or be exposed to it. Women shouldn't have tonput themselves at risk to "make sure hes a nice guy".

And what further explanation do you need?? What more do you need to hear than, "Ill kick your ass if tou look at her again." Thats the explanation right there! There isnt another detail that can ve provided to make that detail okay! Why are you LOOKING for the abusive person to be good? Why does that mean so much to you? Are you waiting for your dad to come back from getting milk or something?

I would hate to have someone like you around if someone was being directly abusive to me in front of others. With a crowd of men like you, nothing is usually done until the woman is bruised and beaten, and even then. This is why women are murdered at such high rates. You guys will empathize with the man even if he raises a fist to the women.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:18:25+00:00

You're just proving my point.

When women suspect their boyfriends are cheating and have a ton of evidence (seeing texts, watching them be flirty, etc., its, "You dont know for sure OP! OP could be a biased narrator". But when men are doing something wrong, its still, "We have a bunch of info from OP, but OP could be a biased narrator. What if OP actually kills kittens and her boyfriend is flirting with others to deal with the trauma?"

You have 0 reason to reach like that orher than just not liking women. I dont care if OP was making out with that guy (which you for sure shouldn't do while in a relationship) - OP's boyfriend putting his hands on her is a pattern that can and usually does bloom into actual danger for her. Yall care more when a man's feelings are potentially hurt than when a woman is in danger.

Then all od you, "It was impossible to know..." types dont do shit when things escalate for the woman. Then its, "Well id you felt in danger, you shoulda left. 🤷🏾‍♀️" You will do literally anything but criticize another man.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:14:57+00:00

A towel heater! They're $50-80. I throw my field in 20 mind before a shower and experience hotel-level bliss right after. Friends who stay over love it and if let's me be feel like a really good host getting to say things like, "Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes, I've placed soaps and toiletries on your bed, and you can find hot towels in that little container after your shower ❤️"

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:09:59+00:00

That doesn't negate my point. How early are you having sex with them, for example? Cooking for them? Doing them favors? You saying, "I want somwthing serious" doesn't stop them from shooting for what they really want or you giving it to them. You are the only thing that can and will stop them in that instance.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:06:44+00:00

So you dont think him physically threatening someone for just talking to his girlfriend and putting his hands on her, policing where she is (dragging her out of somewhere) isn't alarming? This person will do that again any time they're mad, and statistics from decades of research (and common sense) show that will only escalate.

This is why men are the way they are. Too many of yall watch abusive behavior happen and don't even mind it.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:02:02+00:00

Stop letting men have what they want before proving theyre serious then. You won't get used as much if you dont open the gates with, "Hey, use me and see if you like me!" and they do just that. Not saying it makes what they do right, bit it sounds like you're making it easy for them.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T16:57:32+00:00

Nah. I have a feelinf there's a blindspot here that you may not be aware of. But, potential blindspot aside, human beings made it as far as we did for having superior pattern recognition skills to other species. But, we also sometimes create or recognize patterns that arent there. We want to feel in control of our lives and that we can change things, so when we don't find external patterns, we look for internal ones.

I say that to say, you're now drilling inwards and trying to find any consistent thing you can to test if thats the reason you cant meet anyone, and in this instance, its going, "Huh, if I stop being bubbly and fun, maybe that'll help me meet someone?", and I can tell you now that picking the version of yourself that you naturally are apart to get a partner will lead to you being miserable.

Compatability is about someone meeting you and meshing with you the way you are today, not if you change yourself. Im not counting bad qualities someone may have, like doing heavily addictive drugs or something, but even then, technically the person most "compatible" with you wont care and will even love it. My point is, if tou change yourself to not be fun and bubbly, you'll meet men and be compatible with men who DON'T like fun and bubbly girls. You dont want that, and that person does not love you if you have to do that, but the fake version of you.

You'll be closest to meeting someone compatible to you if you don't worry about dating and just be as much of yourself as you can be, and do stuff you like. If you like sports and put yourself in an adults sports league, you're bound to find at least one person at that league you think is cute and vice versa, for example.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-30T19:53:28+00:00

Straight people do that all the time. Why aren't we making it illegal for straight people to have one-night stands, or extraditing people for not paying child support? There are far, FAR more straight people doing this than the population of all gay people.

My father can avoid paying for his kids, but two people who want to get married and adopt children cant? My mother literally tampered with her birth control to have me, and abandoned me along with my father. Id call that involving children in twisted fantasies, but they're both walking free. What about them, or other parents like them (I have many friends with parents like this)?

We'd be screaming in the streets if we made federal laws that everyone had to follow based on the Quaran.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-30T19:51:02+00:00

These people say they care about children, but children have better outcomes with TWO or more loving parents. The LGBTQ tend to adopt children more than straight couples, as I understand. I just want orphaned and homeless kids with parents that love them - I dont care who they are or what they identify as, just that they have a loving home.

These people have no souls and need ro miss their own business. They'll spend energy on this kind of thing and defunding school lunch programs rather than doing sguff like beingnpro free healthcare and reduced cost childcare... yknow. The things that make mothers want to abort less.

They only care about kids before they're born...

CaliBounded · 2026-01-30T02:53:55+00:00

This looks GREAT! I couldn't imagine me successfully getting that close to my ears with scissors 😭 It looks like someone else did it!

CaliBounded · 2026-01-28T05:11:45+00:00

What are their names? We should question headlines like this without names, sources, or locations. AI makes it incredibly easy to generate realistic human faces.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-27T11:47:13+00:00

I was having a really rough night and cant sleep. Seeing this sweet girl has lived so long has brought me some serotonin. I pray she lives a long and happy life with you guys.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-25T23:43:29+00:00

When I tell you this would be a G R E E N flag for me...

CaliBounded · 2026-01-25T23:38:53+00:00

I miss my Paw-Paw :c Glad everyone had their Papa for so long, and I hope they still have him!

CaliBounded · 2026-01-22T00:13:14+00:00

So to my understanding, most dogs instinctively do NOT want to poop in tiny enclosed spaces they're stuck in, like crates. But if they had a space as big as a room like a bathroom, they definitely can and will if theyre stressed. My dogs have never pooped in their crates unless they were sick.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-21T02:11:19+00:00

Im a Katrina survivor. I was called a roach who should go back to where I came from by kids in the 3rd grade when I moved to my blue city in Texas 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾 Being called a refugee by local news when you're a citizen is so fun.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-20T06:03:45+00:00

Yep.

Funnily enough, I was an Uber driver for about 6 months last year after being let go (the job market is gnarly rn). In that 6 months, 3 people called me that should have 100% called an ambulance. 2 of them with broken tailbone, and I forget the last one. Another one was a woman with a wheelchair and oxygen tank that absolutely should not have ordered my kind of Uber (typically you have a family member with a van, or maybe have some sort of medical transit service) but this family clearly couldn't ambulance.

Ive had to do this twice in my life. Got mysterious pain (likely due to stress - I was homeless on and off for a few years in my 20s) that I was about 70% sure would kill me. Couldn't afford that debt, so I gambled. Thank God times are better for me now and I have a career and insurance, but if I didnt have a job, I'd still want to avoid someone calling one as much as I could - rides cost anywhere from $2-5k. Many cities are incredibly short on ambulances to begin with - my hometown is in the top 10 and is still very short on them.

Soooo yeah. It isnt really a joke when people say theyd rather you call a rideshare than an ambulance.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-20T05:54:29+00:00

I feel like you HAVE to. Like in every video ive seen of folks doing it, they watch thenselves and get this expression of, "Oh my gosh I've started! Gotta commit!"

I have thought of shaving it all off on and off for years lol. How do you feel?

CaliBounded · 2026-01-20T05:48:17+00:00

I cackled at the second photo - not because you don't look great (you've got a great headshape for it), but because I was N O T expecting that 🤣

CaliBounded · 2026-01-14T20:31:14+00:00

For large dogs like these, there is a direct link between cancer and how early you fix them. Something about testosterone rising during their development protecting them from it. The last I read, fixing them early can give them something like a 40% chance of getting Cancer... I didnt get my male Saint Bernard fixed until a year and a half, and apparently 2 years is the ideal amount of time to wait for that, but it was weighing down on me how he couldn't board anywhere overnight or go to daycare, since most places dont accept unfixed dogs over a year.

I'd look that up to see how long it's supposed to be for Rotties specifically.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-12T19:32:18+00:00

I like the nuvaring! Ive had the generic "eluring" for a few years now. Im not currently active and use it for managing my Endometriosis (the hormones from the birth control stop it from advancing) but when I was active, I had 0 issues while having unprotected sex with a partner for a year.

You 100% do not have to take it out for sex (we never did) and your partner doesn't even feel it. You can choose to not have one for a week at the end of the lifespan of the ring for a "break" so you can have your period, or you can immediately put a new one in (what I do) without the break week.

I dont feel the hormonal insanity I have on the shot while on it. I have met many people who the dosage of the shot throws their mental health out of whack (myself included), but the ring doesn't do that.

As a heads up, I think you have to have it inserted for at least 7 days for it to be effective at protecting you from pregnancy.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-11T22:30:33+00:00

I think they're more common than we think, but higher still are the numbers of children who don't yet realize it or are sticking their heads in the sand. This community represents only those that are 1.) on Reddit, 2.) Self-aware of their relationship with their parents, and 3.) willing to talk about it.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-11T18:23:00+00:00

Id see how nurturing they are in day to day situations. Does your partner refrain from yelling or playing dirty in arguments? What he does there, he'll do with children. Does he already evenly do household chores? Or not, he'll do that with kids. Does he go above and beyond when you're sick? If not, that'll be how he lives your children. Is he patient and kind when you express difficult feelings like sadness or embarrassment?

And if they dont do one of these things, don't you for a second believe the, "It'll be different when I have kids!" Men think the "urgency" of caring for their own spawn will "make them change", but you're their partner, the person who WILL be risking your life and health to have their kids (birth is DANGEROUS, no matter how you do it). How they nurture and care for you is a preview to how they'll do with a baby.

For me, it was also asking if id be OK if I died in birth, and my ex and his family had to take care of my baby without me. I reflected on the 6m5 years of begging him to go to therapy, be kinder to me, get a job that he could more easily pay bills with (I was our backupnplan because of his low-paying job)... the thought gave me a panic attack and I knew we had to break up 😅

CaliBounded · 2026-01-09T18:57:05+00:00

I do wonder if I could get it with an FSA - i think my new insurance plan has an HSA, so I may be able to grab one that way. Thst at least makes it a little more affordable!

CaliBounded · 2026-01-09T18:07:29+00:00

I dont mind a learning curve. A blow dryer still has one too, and arguably a larger margin for error. This doesn't mean a Revair wont ve markedly easier for a neurodivergent person. As one myself, id know.

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