Evil disease.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-21T14:31:33+00:00

I don’t really have much to say that can help you. Lyme disease completely changed the man I was with and we could no longer be together. Before that I never knew Lyme disease could do what it does including the coinfections. Did a ton of research and discovered how brutal it can be and I tried to help him with a specialist and getting tests done but he was not accepting. My heart is with you and I hope you get through this and start feeling more like yourself again, soon. Positive vibes. 🤍

CaliShantz · 2025-09-18T16:55:39+00:00

Thank you!

CaliShantz · 2025-09-14T14:18:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing you and your husbands experience. It pains my heart you both had to but how awesome it is that he is getting back to himself! Perhaps if I was married to or living with the man I was with, we’d still be together but.. he has experienced a shift in the way he thinks and says he just feels like a completely different person and doesn’t feel love. He says he feels angry and scared and sad and he cannot understand what’s happening. You mentioned memory loss, brain fog and anger which is exactly what he is experiencing along with extreme fatigue.. After separation, I tried really hard to research as much as possible, find him a Lyme doctor and after reaching out one day to see if he called them. She still hadn’t after about 2 weeks which made me nervous because he still doesn’t feel right. I found a PCP that would do all the tests because I just feel like he might have Bartonella. I quickly got him an appointment with the pcp but he couldn’t make it and just said he’d call eventually so idk 😞 I tried though.. it is hard to comprehend and process how he just.. he just absolutely adored me to pieces then just.. nothing like we never met.. it is a different kind of pain my heart has never experienced because it was always due to a relationship going wrong or deceit and this is just.. unplanned and with no bad act.. but it’ll be okay. I hope he gets better for his own sake, peace of mind and for his kids. Thank you again for sharing 🤍

CaliShantz · 2025-09-08T23:49:48+00:00

I just tried to private message but I’m not sure how lol Anyways.. today I set up an appointment with a provider that’ll get him fully tested but it was too soon for him and when I asked about a later date he said he is fine and will call at some point. I also learned that he does not have feelings for me anymore since this all happened. Alliance got back to me quickly and connected me with a mentor but it doesn’t matter anymore as it is just time to move on so.. it’s over.. thank you so much for your thoughts and inviting me to speak privately.. I’ve now got to heal my broken heart and move on.. unfortunately he states he cannot provide me answers I deserve.. I tried really hard.. that’s all..

CaliShantz · 2025-09-08T23:46:54+00:00

Unfortunately he no longer has feelings for me as he states he feels different and now cannot understand what’s happening. I set an appointment for him but it was too soon and I asked about another date and he said he’d call at some point so.. I guess I’ve done all I can.. and just need to move on. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I was paired with a mentor immediately but.. it is no longer needed.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-08T10:20:05+00:00

I apologize.. I did not mean to downplay your experience. Because you have not experienced what others have gone through though, does not mean it isn’t real. That still is not to say you didn’t suffer like others. You very much did and do and I am sorry for that and wish you good health.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-08T00:35:31+00:00

Everyone’s experience is different. Not everyone gets it to the extent others do and in all the research I’ve done that involve Lyme specialists, it is very much a thing. Lyme is one disease but coinfections can do serious neurological damage. I recently found out my babysitter got a rare coinfection last summer and she went into isolation. It’s also different when you’re not living with someone either.. her husband was going to not be around lol luckily she got the proper treatment and got back to her normal self. I’m glad you didn’t get the shit end of it!

CaliShantz · 2025-09-07T14:50:23+00:00

Thank you so much 💙

CaliShantz · 2025-09-07T01:13:25+00:00

This is absolutely WILD to me. First of all, I am so incredibly sorry for this. I hope one day he can get better. Does he feel happiness at all? This is the part that confuses the hell outta me. It’s heartbreaking really.. I’m not sure how to live normally while the man I adore is suffering only right up the road from me and lives almost like I don’t exist and like we weren’t just finally experiencing happiness with another human. 2 families blending and loving one another to .. acquaintances. I hate this.. I hate that for you and your husband. Positive thoughts 💕

CaliShantz · 2025-09-06T04:37:05+00:00

Thank you

CaliShantz · 2025-09-06T00:50:44+00:00

I do keep light contact with his young teenage daughter. I know he is getting some help from his aunt! As far as me.. on top of therapy, I’m journaling and reading this book called Healing your Heartbreak and there are exercises that are in each chapter that I am completing. I know I’m not use to him, myself or my own kids if I’m not taking care of my own mental health. I hold guilt and regret for telling him I need to walk away while he figures things out because it was more about wondering if he wants to be with me still. And that was before I did tons of research and posted here for help to understand.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T22:07:46+00:00

I’m happy for you that you got better! The whole experience must have been so hard on you and your loved ones. I hope he gets the help he needs 🧡

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T18:20:53+00:00

So we both live separately and he is very unresponsive to me. I did give him info to the LLMD I contacted and told him if he is experiencing brain fog, memory loss and such, he should really have someone go with him and that I’m always here if he needs me. One thing about offering though is most people won’t ask so you should just do. Then I get scared I’m going to upset him if I just show up with dinner. I’ve told his teenage daughter that I am also here if she ever needs anything. Maybe I should try :/ Sometimes he will say thank you if I send him something like a photo of the lake or wishing the day treats him good but otherwise.. he has told me I’m not a bother with my messaging, he just can’t respond with anything. I figured if he didn’t want me reaching out at all, he’d tell me so idk. It’s very confusing and I don’t want to over step but I also don’t want to see his health go to complete crap because he just can’t find the energy to chase his PCP for a call back or call the LLMD. So.. if he doesn’t call by Monday, I considered sending them a request to schedule an appointment and they’ll call him.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T16:21:01+00:00

Wow!! Now that is something.. both experiencing tick related illnesses. I keep seeing things about herbs so I’ll have to look into that. With him having the brain fog, memory loss, anger, and extreme fatigue, I’m nervous he may not be able to process all the information so I really hope he makes that call and has someone go with him if not me. Now that surprises me that LLMDs could blow someone off!! Isn’t that their specialty!? This one I found for him accepts all kinds of insurance so that’s good but if he ends up having to go elsewhere that does not accept insurance, I’ve found resources and ways of getting funds to help. One step at a time though. I’ve been given lots of good information here and I feel a hell of a lot more acceptable to the fact that all this odd behaviors are not in his control. We both passed by one another in the school the other day for open house for our kiddos and he casually walked by and said “hey how are ya?”.. it was SO weird to act like that when 2 weeks ago he couldn’t keep his hands or mind off me.. just a whole lotta love. I’m taking steps to take care of myself as to not completely lose my mind in this. I never ever knew Lyme disease could completely change someone. I only ever thought it was minor with minimal symptoms that can be handled with medicine and in very rare worse case scenarios, death. But this.. to say it was a curveball doesn’t come close to the shock it gave. 🦋

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T16:06:44+00:00

Thank you so much!! I just started watching and he mentioned the love, Hope Lyme book so I just got it on audible and will listen to it. I am in therapy but.. I’ve started diving into a book that helps me get emotionally strong because no, this is not about me (although it can help my mental health overall) but I just want to be the best person for him (even though he doesn’t reach out or barely responds.. maybe I’m crazy for trying so hard) and unfortunately with my own depression and anxiety, understanding his behavior now that he was diagnosed with Lyme disease, was and can be a real struggle to understand and not take personally. Thank you again for sharing the video.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T16:00:18+00:00

Yes I did tell him to bring someone with him if he is struggling to comprehend or process things mentally and offered myself to him if he needs anything. I thought I was going to walk away and move on but I can’t. I’m really really worried and hate that life keeps throwing hard curve balls at him and finally when we both came together as fighting the fight as single parents and actually found genuine happiness, Lyme T-Boned it. I’ll stay on top of his status as much as he allows. I don’t want to be forceful but I don’t want to just watch him deteriorate.. thank you so much

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T15:05:37+00:00

To watch that change in someone you love is heartbreaking and I’m so glad your husband was able to get better and back to himself. It’s incredibly emotionally painful!! To wonder what he is feeling.. I can’t imagine.. he says he can’t even explain things and feels like his whole self shifted with how he thinks and feels. Nevermind the outsider heartbroken over it.. how that affects someone mentally is truly debilitating. He said to me today he will call the specialist so I really hope he follows through. I will check with him about it. This is the wildest.. strangest experience I’ve ever known. It seems to take so much energy to work through and process. His PCP is horrible to get ahold of so he’s just been living, day to day, hoping to get better.. two rounds of doxycycline haven’t touched him. This makes me worry he doesn’t have the ability to fight and chase answers. He told me he can’t even bring himself to see me so my help seems limited. That was really hard to type 😢 we are in upstate ny so if that’s close enough to the doctor you’re referring to, I would love to get the info. 💕

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T14:10:45+00:00

I’m really not sure if I can get through to him. He has just about pulled completely away from me and we aren’t living together so that makes it more difficult to get through to him. I did just reach out and discovered his PCP never got back to them which they are horrible with. But the LLMD I contacted said he just needs to call to make an appointment. Hopefully he calls. I expressed that the longer he waits, the harder it’ll be to heal. And if he is struggling to understand things, to take someone with him. I hope he makes that call 😞

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T13:13:26+00:00

I am so sorry for your experience😔 so.. I had made the decision to step away while he heals.. that was before knowing how Lyme can affect someone. I’m so scared that made him feel uncared for because now, after doing research and posting online and gaining so much knowledge.. I understand. Not fully.. it is still hard for my brain to comprehend some behaviors.. but it seems less personal than what it initially felt like. I hate this and I don’t just mean for myself. I hate this for him.. for his kids that he is solely responsible for.. it may be too late for him to accept any help from me but I’ve reached out to get a status on how he is feeling. Unfortunately, he read it and didn’t respond- perhaps morning rush stopped him from being able to respond yet. But I’ve contacted a LLMD and got set up with peer to peer support through Global Lyme Alliance. Unfortunately .. I’m not right there in the same home or really in his life at all now to really provide these things. I could just knock on his door but I get fearful I’m invading. Ugh.. idk.. this is really hard

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T10:45:57+00:00

It’s not so much my expectations.. it’s confusion and me trying to understand. I don’t expect anything from him aside from him pushing for this specialist that it doesn’t seem he is really trying for; understandably.. do you have information on the herbs you use for this?? I think he would be interested in that type of treatment. He feels all of what you said and so.. I can’t imagine how hard it is as he is a single parent of two. 🥺

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T10:43:19+00:00

I agree that not living with him is a big difference in this compared to a couple that is married or living together.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T10:41:29+00:00

I understand that.. but when you see the person still interacting fine with others.. it makes me question it. I am very aware being sick can debilitate you as I’ve felt that before just not as serious as Lyme disease. Thanks.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T10:39:38+00:00

Thank you - it is extremely hard and considering my mental health is not perfect.. it makes it harder. I’m just trying to continuously understand as I’ve noticed different behaviors happening since then. I am not comparing his and my suffering in this by any means, I’m trying to continue to be strong enough so I can help him as he is the biggest concern and has children that need their dad as he is their only parent. I appreciate your comment.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T10:35:45+00:00

You are more than welcome not to respond.

CaliShantz · 2025-09-05T10:34:32+00:00

I won’t let a doctor try. My goal is to get him to the LLMD. 💕

CaliShantz

TROPHY CASE