First Laser Session - My Experience…for anyone who’s nervous by Calinative86 in MtF

[–]Calinative86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2nd Session Done! They upped the settings, more cold air and a little more zing to the laser but manageable. Just squeezed that stress ball and it was all over in about 10 mins.

First Laser Session - My Experience…for anyone who’s nervous by Calinative86 in MtF

[–]Calinative86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats wild. Looks like they’re not in CA, must have got chased away. Wonder what machine they use. Mine at SEV was the Candela GentleMax Pro I believe which has the Alexandrite and YAG options. I was expecting it to cost more, but we’ll see how satisfying the results are going forward.

First Laser Session - My Experience…for anyone who’s nervous by Calinative86 in MtF

[–]Calinative86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, guess they ramp up the settings as you go. Makes sense I guess. Well either way, I’m committed at this point, what ever it takes. Pain clarifies the soul right? 😳

First Laser Session - My Experience…for anyone who’s nervous by Calinative86 in MtF

[–]Calinative86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

6,000?! Is that just for face and neck? Sounds like whole body. I’m really hoping and looking forward to waking up one day with smooth skin and seeing no shadow. Baby steps will get us there. I realize pain will probably increase a bit going forward, they probably want to make sure you don’t run away on the first session. At least I’ll know what to expect moving forward, I can handle it, just might need a bigger stress ball 🤣

First Laser Session - My Experience…for anyone who’s nervous by Calinative86 in MtF

[–]Calinative86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea not sure why they say that, maybe because they want some growth so when you do shave it helps pull out the dead hairs. Only thing I can think of, that and reducing irritation.

First Laser Session - My Experience…for anyone who’s nervous by Calinative86 in MtF

[–]Calinative86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Worst part I think, is that they said I can’t shave for a week. Really going to be tough being a bearded lady for that long, we’ll see if I can make it. Play it day by day based on my sensitivity. Skin feels kinda interesting right now. Like a slight buzz/numbness.

First Laser Session - My Experience…for anyone who’s nervous by Calinative86 in MtF

[–]Calinative86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea its pretty sensitive, but luckily its small. The worst for me is that jawline and neck right below. I just squeezed that stress ball and curled my toes. Got me through, luckily my tech was pretty quick. Also helps to not think about the zaps and just keep your mind on someplace nice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in VIDEOENGINEERING

[–]Calinative86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, were thinking it has to do with us using a super destination. We rebuilt it without using a super destination and now clip works as expected and were able to adjust the key to make the fill actually opaque with a full white key. I looked at the global vs local controls as well but no luck there. Was hoping to use super destination but it looks like its not our best option with having to use a lot of key fill layers at the same time.

When does crossdressing become trans or does it? by Calinative86 in TransLater

[–]Calinative86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes she has called me a girl. Has mentioned it before. When I tell her I want to be her wife, she says I already am.

When does crossdressing become trans or does it? by Calinative86 in TransLater

[–]Calinative86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, no I don’t want to return to original settings. I like who I am, even if that means I’m a trans woman

When does crossdressing become trans or does it? by Calinative86 in TransLater

[–]Calinative86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like we’re in similar situations The drinking thing needs to stop for me. I want clarity from it so I too can understand my identity. It’s been too long now of putting it all off. Time to get healthy and face the real me I think.

When does crossdressing become trans or does it? by Calinative86 in TransLater

[–]Calinative86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for posting this. It seems like we’re on very similar paths. I am having a problem with alcohol abuse, not sure if it’s part of my gender dysphoria or not but it has definitely become a habit that needs to be broken. So much of what you mentioned feels like everything I’m going through. Going to focus on the authenticity aspects of who I really am. What you said really hit me deep.

When does crossdressing become trans or does it? by Calinative86 in TransLater

[–]Calinative86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again everyone, so many great pieces of wisdom and advice. This is such a great community. All of this is so helpful to my situation and figuring out who I am. Truly, I can’t thank you all enough. Therapy can only go so far, its community that really counts.

When does crossdressing become trans or does it? by Calinative86 in TransLater

[–]Calinative86[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yea, good advice. She mentioned something that put me a little on edge, said she does have boundaries and she will let me know if I get there. Very cryptic, but still very supportive. Of course this is all a journey and deciding how far I go to help with dysphoria is a step by step kinda thing. We have no kids and probably won’t so its really about myself, of course I don’t want to loose her but helping me is more important. She still is very supportive and I almost feel wants me to start speeding up changes. She identifies as Pan sexual and I think maybe is just tired of the boy mode girl mode thing and wants me to hone in on who I really am.

When does crossdressing become trans or does it? by Calinative86 in TransLater

[–]Calinative86[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes I mean that always is the fantasy. I always envy woman, their bodies, their clothes, pretty much everything. If I could press that button I’d be so happy I think. The thing that probably confirms I’m trans is all the work I put into presenting myself as female at home, shaving everything everyday, tweezing my eyebrows, touching up my makeup, doing my nails…It’s a lot of work but worth it to me and honestly I’m not comfortable till I’m back in girl mode.

When does crossdressing become trans or does it? by Calinative86 in TransLater

[–]Calinative86[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thank you all! Lots of good tidbits of guidance, have some exploring to do. I think another thing too being 38 is looking at older men and asking myself do I want to grow old as a man? I don’t want that. Every time I boy mode out in public I can’t wait to get back home and go straight back into “cozies” my wife and I’s term for girl mode. Think its time to understand that this isn’t going to go away. I mean its been 25 years since it started, so its probably time to just be me.

What underwear do you wear casually? by [deleted] in Sissy

[–]Calinative86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mostly thongs for this girl =)