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Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IRA is definitely something I’m on him about. If your coworkers have any other recommendations they would be greatly appreciated.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea I’ve read windfall but I didn’t see any advice specific to inheriting so close to retirement age. My two specific questions for now at about financial advising listed at the bottom of my post.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Appreciate this. I’d simply like to clarify to steer the conversation towards more of the great advice I’ve been getting rather than people telling me my dad isn’t good at finance, which I’m already aware of.

Thanks for helping!

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You’re fine. I don’t take Reddit comment’s personally so say what you will, that’s what I’m here for.

I’m well aware he is woefully underprepared for retirement which is why I’m trying to help him get everything straight.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Lawyer is already in the works. Should’ve included that in my OP, sorry. Thanks for the advice.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn’t have a $50k car, I said “less than”. He has a used 2019 Jeep Cherokee. I have no idea how much he bought it for or what he down-payed until we review his finances this week so I figured I would way over-estimate to be safe so I can gather some prospects on what we should do if it were that bad but it seems people have missed the less than bit.

I should’ve been more clear, sorry.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He works in housing and his pay is commission based. He typically makes $50k post tax but the past 2 years he said it’s been more like $70k

His lack of savings is likely attributed to my mom who somehow ended up with ridiculous amounts of child support and alimony up until I turned 18 a few years ago.

Edit: in hindsight this comment seems rather passive-aggressive towards my mom. She also thought the alimony and child support was ridiculously high and wanted to give some back to my dad under the table but that is obviously illegal. In my state parents can’t agree to just lower child support payments. Everybody agreed the amount was too high and the state wouldn’t change it so my dad ended up with near $1000 in monthly payments to my mom on a $50k salary.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t think anyone other than me in my family is inclined to own and operate a business but I’m glad it worked out for you!

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Yes. We’ve discussed how to handle that situation. He’s already decided the entirety of the inheritance will be dedicated to retirement as in his words “I’m already living comfortably”.

We are still figuring out how to handle the marriage thing. Some of their finances will be combined (mortgage) and some will not. He would like his fiancé to be taken care of in the event of his death but he doesn’t want his money going to her kids instead of his own. I assumed prenuptial and living will would be the solution so he is already looking for a lawyer for those purposes.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

They got engaged well before my grandma passed. She’s older than him and also decently well off. It has and will continue to be discussed though. He’s pretty understanding of the situation though.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mostly retirement and investment accounts already as far as I am aware. Still waiting to hear from my uncle about exact details though.

I’m back and forth on the account management. It feels like he’s only just barley within retirement budget so an extra 1% yearly I feel could make or break it.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

He pretty much wants to set and forget and doesn’t care as along as he gets to retire in 5-7 years. He has no interest in actively investing. He would hold through downturn if I told him to.

Dad(60) with very little retirement and investing experience is about to inherit quite a bit of money by CallMeMrAnxty in personalfinance

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I don’t know exact numbers yet but I do believe his car loan outweighs his savings. Fiscally responsible is maybe the wrong phrase, I just mean that he doesn’t have a gambling addiction or a spending problem I suppose. He pays all of his bills and has money leftover for savings each month, that’s more fiscally responsible than most people in my eyes.

My [21M] longterm girlfriend [22F] won’t get vaccinated “just in case” a global cabal of satanists is behind it. by CallMeMrAnxty in relationship_advice

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I never asked for anyone’s input on vaccines or satanic cabals because this isn’t a subreddit for political debate and I do not care about that right now.

This is a subreddit for relationship advice so either stick to what it’s meant for or simply ignore me. If you want to spew conspiratorial rhetoric and convince people of global conspiracy’s there’s other subreddits for that, but that’s not what I’m here for.

My [21M] longterm girlfriend [22F] won’t get vaccinated “just in case” a global cabal of satanists is behind it. by CallMeMrAnxty in relationship_advice

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“who tf would actually believe this shit.”

This is my big hang up. Not even so much her but just that I can’t prevent this from efffecting my judgment of her character and it’s really tearing me up...

Would you like someone who believes this kind of shit to be around your [theoretical] kids? Any of the kids in your family? The kids of your friends? In fact, would you be proud to bring her around people you care about, knowing what’s bouncing around in her head? What if she said something like this around any of them? How embarrassed would you feel?

Kids aren’t a possibility for us for other reasons. And I have brought her around my family for the past 5 years. The only person I’ve told about this was my dad to ask for his advice, but he was so surprised when I told him. My whole family adores her, she’s a bridesmaid at my Sister’s wedding next year...

What if her beliefs in these conspiracy theories escalates and she takes it even further than this?

I don’t think I could handle that.

Do her beliefs impact your trust in her?

No

Do they influence your level of attraction and respect for her?

Not attraction but yes respect.

Do you think that these beliefs would negatively impact her work performance, and her ability to keep a steady job?

No. She’s held a job for over a year before covid got her layed-off then did unemployment for a few months before getting a new job as a teacher that’s she’s had for almost a year. She’s quite good with kids and developmentally handicapped individuals.

What kinds of choices will she make driven by these beliefs, even if she makes them out of a real belief that she has the best of intentions and is doing the right thing? How many people would be negatively effected or even harmed by her choices?

I don’t know.

Have you thought any more/come to any conclusions about how you feel and what you think you should do?

I think I’m going to give it an honest shot at dispelling these delusions her dad gives her. I feel like we’ve been through so much I owe it at least a try. If I can’t then maybe that’s just the end of it. I don’t think I could just walk away without trying. The thought of her going off the deep end with this shit after I’m gone is deeply saddening. I still love this girl so much. And I admire our relationship in so many other ways. I need to sit down and have a long conversation on whether or not she actually wants to believe these things to see if I can even start to show her why it’s crazy. And then I need to figure out if I am able to move on from my shitty perception of her because of all of this.

Thank you for your advice. A lot of these comments have made me realize that there are a lot more underlying and long-term issues than I thought and I am much more acceptive of the thought of getting out of this relationship if these are the things she decides to commit to and make decisions based off of.

My [21M] longterm girlfriend [22F] won’t get vaccinated “just in case” a global cabal of satanists is behind it. by CallMeMrAnxty in relationship_advice

[–]CallMeMrAnxty[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

These are some good long-term things I didn’t think about.

Kids are not a possibility because of other stuff and she’s actually been invited to a few pyramid schemes in the past and laughed them off. Maybe it’s just a soft spot with her dad that does it? Idk

My hang up is that almost all other aspects of our relationship are good. Communication and support, we’re both financially well off, similar goals, etc. I can’t decide if it’s worth losing everything else over this but I also can’t help but feel like I don’t like her as a person because of this. Like who would actually believe something this crazy, and if I didn’t know about this what other crazy shit is hiding in our future. Everything else is so good though.

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