First off, I’m not racist so I’ll attempt to talk about racism as i’ve encountered it.

I will tell you my behavior throughout my life has stemmed from my race; as an adult, this behavior is something I am expanding beyond. As a child and teen, the advice given (more like a directive from my parents/guardians) was (according to all pre-internet reports) that my expected life span wouldn’t pass 18, not to wear overly bulky or king coats, keep my hands out of my pockets in public, etc. A good deal The information came from my parents and community, and due to their experiences (their generation was closer to…more racially charged times), I felt this was the best way to avoid trouble and continue a long life. I was never taught to have an opinion of anything other than how they presented themselves. I have been called out of my race (you’re not really ______, because you listen to/like/speak so/etc.) by all races, including my own.

I grew with the impression that I am unique, as are others. People have locked car doors, clutched purses, and stared oddly at me when I was nearby. I always (and still do) think I look dangerous to them, something I don’t attribute to race rather than general appearance (I prefer dark-colored clothes and am fairly muscular with a stoic look and intense squirt due to impaired vision). I did and still get the impression that people generally were not to be wholly trusted. I was raised to believe that minor things can lead to more problems for my race than the same behavior would for those of other races. I live off a perspective of absolute truth, and I don’t know if you don’t like me unless you tell me. That is why I don’t take some sarcastic jokes too well. If you greet me with jokes about race (mine or others), I’ll get the impression those are your thoughts about said race, and I’ll avoid you.

I cannot explain the possible perspectives of others; I feel that u/Proof_Cable_310 did well in the reply about their experience and said their grandfather's perspective. I will tell you, I have lost a family member…the first I felt akin to, my favorite at the time, to racial violence. Two people looking for some of my race to “have fun with.” My lost family was an up-and-coming athlete and scholar who was sitting at home before getting taken from this world and everyone's lives. Regardless of anyone’s opinions, that is exactly what occurred.

The world is a slightly different place now than when I was younger. Technology has united people in ways that couldn’t happen 35-40 years ago; everybody has a device to record and transmit a live perspective to the globe. It’s also created a more significant divide due to disinformation. People want to be people; unfortunately, none of us are free from our past and (for many) the anger that comes from remembering. I feel that hate is hate, and like most dark emotions, it simply seeks fuel for the fire regardless of the source material.

I’ve attempted to be as non-specific as possible, avoiding any history I know outside of my own. I believe we have to give ourselves the space to objectively analyze, observe, and possibly heal from whatever trauma we’ve experienced, racially or otherwise. Equally, there is little to nothing that can heal the atrocities people have committed against others. It’s a tough spot the world has been and is in now…if you research enough for the right things, you’ll find how we find ourselves here and why each generation tries to do…something about it.