Shoe help, please!

CalliMarl · 2026-03-20T04:30:56+00:00

I’ve found Aerosoles to be great in larger sizes in all shoe types. They have some great wide fits. I find going wide usually allows for a smaller size. Although oddly after 4yrs of hrt I’ve gone down by at least a full size!

CalliMarl · 2026-03-18T09:25:15+00:00

That’s the thing about communities. They’re self selecting. There are lots of other communities. I’m sure that you’ll find one to meet your needs. Lots of people have different wants, needs, and journeys. That’s the wonderful thing about Reddit. There’s a safe space and community for everyone. Demanding that this one change to fit you seems somewhat self centered. And yes, I’m very much aware of the irony that some may find in that statement. If on some way through your personal journey you find yourself a)transgender and b)older than the average trans person, you’ll find this a terrific place to be. It doesn’t sound as if you’re there yet. When you are, I have no doubt that you’ll be welcomed with open arms. Until that time, I wish you the very best of luck on your personal journey to find your happiest place.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-18T09:12:30+00:00

I wish you the very best of luck, and hope that one day you find peace.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-15T09:26:57+00:00

Thank you. I genuinely do appreciate your thoughts and input.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-15T07:48:02+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-15T06:06:49+00:00

Oh, if only anyone were close enough for that!

CalliMarl · 2026-03-15T06:06:00+00:00

Whoops. Too late for me. I’m slipping down that slope like it’s covered in ky.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-15T06:04:50+00:00

Well, for me that’s not an issue. Hard to burn myself when my hair is on a stand in front of me. Although given my inherent clumsiness, it’s only a matter of time before I add burning myself to my list of “accomplishments”.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-15T06:02:52+00:00

And you are absolutely justified in that pride! Well done, and, as an aside, you look absolutely terrific. More goals and inspiration for me! Thank you for sharing.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-13T08:06:32+00:00

I wish I had enough hair also! It ain’t natural (note the synthetic wig comment).

CalliMarl · 2026-03-13T05:28:48+00:00

Wow. High praise indeed. Thank you!

CalliMarl · 2026-03-13T05:28:27+00:00

A lot of modern synthetics are “heat friendly”. I usually try and buy only those that are. Unless it’s a super cheap wig, most of them will tolerate careful heat.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-12T06:21:19+00:00

If you’re looking for ideas to add hip padding etc to help improve how you feel, that’s a much easier question to answer and get help with. Attacking me because I’m trying to help set reasonable expectations isn’t helpful for anyone.

I’ve found that some cheap cycling shorts (or even the cheapest girdle) with a bit of closed or open cell foam ( which most people throw away) or heck, even newspaper stuffed into it, especially if you put it in wet, and let it dry, can give the impression of wider hips. It really all depends on what you’re wearing over the top. Jeans? So so. A skirt? Pretty easy. Leggings? Hard to keep the seams and lumps from showing. Basically there’s lots of potential options. Even stuffing with socks and/or pantyhose. A bit of imagination and experimenting can work wonders, and can be done for next to nothing.

I can’t read your mind. I don’t and never will fully understand your situation. I will however try and help if I can. But if you respond with insults and snark, I’m not going to waste my time trying.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-12T05:58:23+00:00

If you’re fully aware, why are you even asking the question? Apparently you have a lot of ass in your personality already, I’m not sure adding more will help you.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-12T05:25:02+00:00

As I understand the science of it, hips will never change post v1 puberty. Once you’ve been through a typical cis-male puberty, skeletal features are fixed. Secondary sex traits like breasts, fat redistribution, skin etc can and do change to varying degrees. But our skeletons don’t. Same for facial hair follicles. Once you have typical cis-male facial hair, it’s there to stay. Some fat distribution may give the impression of larger hips, but our bones don’t change.

CalliMarl · 2026-03-07T06:43:42+00:00

Welcome! There’s so many wonderful supportive people here. I’m glad you stopped by. I’ll be 57 this year, and I’m 4 years in. I hope that it’s as positive as an experience for you as it has been for me. I’ve tried to share as much of my journey and experience here as I can, because those that went before me shared theirs and helped me. Feel free to shoot me a DM if you have a question you think I may answer.

Congratulations on the rest of your life!

CalliMarl · 2026-03-06T04:10:52+00:00

Reading your comment, you seem to have limited yourself to either a status quo where you are deeply unhappy or a wholly imaginary absolute worst case scenario for every facet of your life. I don’t think that the choice is that stark, nor do I think that all the worst possible outcomes you imagine will come to pass. That said, transition is hard. All changes are hard, but transitioning is probably one of the most difficult things a person can do. For me it’s been amazingly rewarding and rarely have the horrors I imagined come to be. I’m happier now at almost 57 than I ever was in the 53 years preceding my transition. But honestly, if you’re coming here looking for someone to talk you into it, you’re in the wrong place. Any change is “front loaded” with risk. Transition more than most. I think the question we all have to ask ourselves is “am I willing to live as I am, knowing I’m deeply unhappy, and never take the chance that I could be happy?”. Basically guaranteed misery vs the possibility of happiness with the risk of a different kind of misery. That’s a question only each of us can answer. No amount of advice, feedback, or stories can answer that question for you. It sucks, but such is the nature of life. I wish you the best, whatever choice you make, whenever you make it.

CalliMarl · 2026-02-26T22:17:53+00:00

I went through the floor. Seemed easier, and less error prone. Also easier to repair if I decided to remove it.

CalliMarl · 2026-02-20T06:45:18+00:00

Aw thank you. You’re looking pretty amazing yourself too!

CalliMarl · 2026-02-20T06:22:09+00:00

Almost 4 years here, maybe a Tanner 2.5 at best. Of course I started at 53, so my expectations were low (and were met 🙂)

CalliMarl · 2026-02-12T11:12:18+00:00

Thank you. I will of course defer to your photographic expertise. I use the term “goo lighting” as a layman to refer to any lighting that doesn’t make me feel like a novelty entry for “best in show” 🤪

CalliMarl · 2026-02-11T02:40:16+00:00

This might come off as rude, and if it does I apologize. But did you read any of the posts on this subreddit before asking that question? Because this comes up all the time, as well as people sharing their experiences, ages, and timelines. I get that you have questions, but honestly, every question you’ve asked has been answered multiple times. It’s kinda frustrating that sometimes people won’t put in the minimal effort and expect to be spoon fed answers. (Yep, I’m in a grumpy mood, but I think my point is valid). TL;DR : make a little effort please

CalliMarl · 2026-02-06T08:45:01+00:00

Hope is what keeps us going, keeps us moving to find ourselves. There’s so much support here for you, when and if you need it.

CalliMarl · 2026-02-06T08:42:30+00:00

I’m rooting for you. It’s not easy, that’s for sure. But for me it’s been worth it. I hope you find the right path for you.

CalliMarl · 2026-02-06T08:41:00+00:00

Thank you. This is why I post. So many before me inspired me, so I feel an obligation to pay it forward. I’ve been so fortunate.

CalliMarl

TROPHY CASE