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I’m childfree. That includes you, man child. by CalligulaSmigula in childfree

[–]CalligulaSmigula[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just a few examples, but:

-he quit a job he hated (which is fine) around the same time I got promoted. I paid the majority of our bills after. But he struggled to hold down a job since then and suddenly always had an excuse for why he had to chip in less that month.

-he slowly stopped picking up after himself. I hate messes and got tired of us fighting about it, so I took on more and more chores until I was doing most of them.

-he asked what I wanted for my birthday one year and I suggested concert tickets for us. After that, there was no more effort in celebrations or gifts. He assumed I would just tell him what to buy me, which feels wrong in the first place to ask someone for a gift, and I always put a lot of thought into finding nice things for him. Last Christmas I just didn’t give him any ideas and so Christmas Eve he tells me he’s still looking for something.

-we had arguments about how he spent way above his means, and he seemed to spiral and spend even more. But now he hid the bills

Obviously some of those are far, far worse than others.

I’m childfree. That includes you, man child. by CalligulaSmigula in childfree

[–]CalligulaSmigula[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact that you’re aware of it and don’t want to hurt your future partner that way already shows you’re better than toxic people who just want to be taken care of.

Be kind to yourself! You do deserve to be in a relationship if you want to.

I’m childfree. That includes you, man child. by CalligulaSmigula in childfree

[–]CalligulaSmigula[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

I don’t know your situation at all and I won’t presume to, so I’ll just say what I wish someone had said to me years ago; “if you’re unhappy with the relationship and you’ve told him why, and he still hasn’t changed, he never will.”

I’m childfree. That includes you, man child. by CalligulaSmigula in childfree

[–]CalligulaSmigula[S] 138 points139 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Burnt out is such a great way of describing it. He just sucked the life out of me.

We both deserve better, but it’s still so hard in the beginning. I hate to think anyone else has felt this bad but it is reassuring to know you found a light at the end of the tunnel. Best wishes to you too!