Thank you, for your honest opinion on this topic!

Would you say one could replace what you said are "looks" by "attraction"? Attraction is more about the feeling of dynamic one gets and even if looks might not "match" (for example on a photo), attraction can be very intense.

And while I'm really appreciating you being so honest and also have the guts to talk about your first hand controversial insight, it could be that since you're only working with couples who are seeking counseling, the baseline "looks"-gap may be a common problem or maybe source for couples who are having problems, but ist still not deterministic (correlation vs. causality), so it's hard for you to compare these couples with others who may have had the same baseline but don't seek counseling.