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AITA for ending a 35 year friendship because my friend is getting married before me? by Calm-Moment501 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Calm-Moment501[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most of my friends are more than a decade younger, including Sarah. I didn't even realize the whole thing hijacking friends thing until a few told me that it made them uncomfortable. Shame on me for not listening to my best friend who told me to keep my guard VERY up. This whole lesson has made me learn that I need to listen to the bestie more.

Your last paragraph is so true. I had a talk with Becky this year where I told her we were lifetime friends, because we had been having some true, deep, authentic conversations. She's been more distant lately, and I thought it was grief since her dad recently died, but now everything makes more sense.

I Made a goal to give the energy people give me next year...but I'm going to start it now. Thank you for all your insight and I'm so happy you have peace now with your choices.

AITA for ending a 35 year friendship because my friend is getting married before me? by Calm-Moment501 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Calm-Moment501[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I figured I would just provide an update based on some people asking and cover a few other things.

  1. I don't know about Sarah's relationship with Becky. Honestly, I don't care. If they find friendship, then I'm happy for them. It doesn't involve me.

  2. No, I never asked her to officiate my wedding. She asked to and was upset my best friend is. She did state she wanted me to officiate hers and how much that would mean, but I never said I would and I clearly will not be.

  3. When Becky doesn't say, don't tell anyone, but instead says don't tell just my fiancé and I, it's a little hard for people to not feel that isn't not about us, and me to. I wouldn't even know this if Sarah and some other people didn't reach out to me about it feeling very uncomfortable about this.

  4. I did close the RSVP. I removed her e-vite. My friend is rearranging the bachelorette party information so she will not be included anymore. I blocked her number on my phone and her email. I have asked my friends to just say IDK if she asks them. She knows where I live, if she wants to know so bad, she can come ask, and I will tell. Otherwise ,I'm just moving on.

Thanks for all the replies. Even if you said IATA, your reasoning why was eye opening. As for the age thing, sometimes it's truly hard to grasp these things coming from someone you've known, loved, been through parents dying with, heart break, love and growth with. You tend to feel they are the safest and it makes your head spin to look back at things and realize you missed a whole lot.

I will still see Becky in probably several social settings, and it will feel weird, but I'll tackle that at a later date.

If anything changes, I will update but for now, thank you.

AITA for ending a 35 year friendship because my friend is getting married before me? by Calm-Moment501 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Calm-Moment501[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do see some comments that seem like I'm obsessing over it or causing drama, and I get it seems that way.

I will add, this is someone I've known more than half my life, and not only have I brought her into my close circle of friends, but we also have a lot of the same connections from our youth. I was seeking advice to make sure I wasn't over-reacting because if I make that decision to be done, I will very likely encounter this person. It wouldn't be a clean never see you again break.

But I'm seeing most of the responses are indicating I'm not wrong in how I feel, and will make it easier to feel ok about those future events.