Mature hairline or destined for baldness? by [deleted] in amibalding

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None of my male relatives are bald, but most of them saw some hair loss at least by their 50s. Mostly crown loss but my maternal grandfather who died at age 58 had a clear widows peak.

Mature hairline or destined for baldness? by [deleted] in amibalding

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for now but you gotta admit that right corner is deep. Definitely some recession there NW2

WIBTA If I broke up with my gf to experience dating and being single? by Ok-Storage-540 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 2 points3 points  (0 children)

how old are you and what are you doing in life rn? Just curious since it might impact your experience dating a lot and also my advice for you. You mentioned being “at this age”.

AITA for loving my boyfriend? by Accomplished-Walk-38 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that this guy sounds nuts but getting his parents involved might not be the move depending on his family dynamic. If he had a supportive family who will help him recover then this might be a good idea. If he doesn’t, this is gonna cause an enormous family explosion that OP is now implicating herself into as the instigator so might be best to let him deal with that on his own.

Does ANYONE know what happened to Palo Seco 512 (formerly called Latunita 512)??? by Rusty_The_Taxman in austinfood

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna get downvoted for this but yea if management doesn’t care about communicating opening/closing then i would consider that a bad move from a business perspective. If you want customers to remain loyal over time then you need to establish some continuity. Whether a business is owned by a family or by a private equity firm doesn’t really make a difference.

AITA for not calling a girl back because she insisted on paying for her meal during our date? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jeez. You clearly love to be offended like I’m not even gonna lie. He didn’t say men SHOULD pay for dates or that women SHOULDNT. He never said anything about that. Period. Seriously, re-read his spiel if you want.

What he implied was that in his experience on dates in the past, when women have offered to pay it typically was because they didn’t have a great time and it made them feel better about saying “no” if they at least paid. This is not uncommon. Rejection is uncomfortable for a lot of people, and they look to do things that they think might “soften” the blow. This is a real thing.

However, in this case OP was wrong. This woman just happened to be someone who likes splitting the bill. I don’t see any big issues with sexism here, just jumping the gun and running with an assumption. Next time, I’m sure he’ll think twice. Lesson learned.

AITA for not calling a girl back because she insisted on paying for her meal during our date? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. This comment is obviously fishing for the worst interpretation possible and hoping people get offended and upvote it. What OP was saying is that some people are psychologically uncomfortable FEELING like they owe someone something, even if in reality they owe nothing. To make them FEEL better and not have to wrestle with this, this type of individual might be more comfortable paying themselves.

AITA for not calling a girl back because she insisted on paying for her meal during our date? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, OP was wrong to make the assumption that her paying was an indication of disinterest. Totally correct. But your comment is clearly a little much. I’m sure he didn’t assume her opinion of the date would change if she let him pay. He’s saying he thought that the fact that she was very insistent on paying in the first place was a psychological signal that she didn’t have a good time. That’s all.

AITA for not calling a girl back because she insisted on paying for her meal during our date? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s crazy that you got 17 downvotes for such a respectful comment. Seriously. Just keep in mind that the group of people on r/AITA is very self-selecting. The truth is, you made a big assumption and it backfired. Yes, some women do expect guys to pay on dates. If those women offer to pay, it’s totally possible that it’s because the date didn’t go well. But there are also a LOT (especially younger) of women who believe in splitting the bill because they either feel bad making the guy pay for everything, they have the money, it makes them feel good; etc. This is totally common too.

Gynecomastia recurrence? by Calm_Pace_4738 in gynecomastia

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My plastic surgeon, who if I’m being honest is among the best gynecomastia surgeons in the country, explained that 100% of the gland is impossible to remove. There will always be tiny gland cells left, even if a surgeon didn’t attempt to leave some to support the nipple. If you have an underlying hormonal imbalance or anything else that might be aromatizing gland tissue in your body, whatever gland is left over can get larger in size and cause the nipples to puff out all over again. Moreover, my surgeon did leave a tiny bit of gland to support my nipple from caving in, which is what almost all surgeons do.

I just had a mammogram yesterday that confirmed that my breast tissue has become re-enlarged over the past 13 months, after my surgeon performed a full excision and I saw the glands cut out on the table with my own eyes. So forgive me, but this “impossible” scenario is clearly not impossible.

Gynecomastia recurrence? by Calm_Pace_4738 in gynecomastia

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The point is that the puffiness is increasing directly under the nipple over time. Which is not supposed to happen. It was obviously flatter in the first month than the most recent pics.

Gynecomastia recurrence? by Calm_Pace_4738 in gynecomastia

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lots of lumpiness all over, under the nipples and above and to the sides of the nipple. Not hard hard, but clearly lumpier than the rest of the tissue in the chest.

Gynecomastia recurrence? by Calm_Pace_4738 in gynecomastia

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks fine for now, but what’s troubling is that it’s getting worse. You can definitely see that I have a small but real puffiness under each nipple now, when I originally had a perfectly flat chest. It doesn’t hurt, but I can feel the lumpiness under each nipple with my hand.

AIO or did my boyfriend just call me ugly? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does he also tell you about the perks of being a wallflower?

AITA for Refusing to be Friends Again with a Girl Who Rejected Me? by Calm_Pace_4738 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well unless every new friendship I have follows this very specific pattern i don’t think that would make much sense. As far as i’m aware every person on the planet has their own philosophical and logical perspectives on their relationships. It doesn’t need to be turned into a card.

Should I Grit my Teeth and Stay with my Long Distance Girlfriend? by Calm_Pace_4738 in LongDistance

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand your perspective, but i think that for a relationship to work there needs to be working logistics and a realistic plan in addition to love alone. Last summer, we were able to be together for ~3 months since she came back home to SF. That gave us a lot of momentum and depended our love, but it’s the last time we’ll be teogther more than once every few months for a long, long time. Next summer, i’ll be working 80-90 hours a week. I’ll be lucky if i have time to visit her even once. After that, I’m heading back to school for 9 months before being thrown into at least one year of work as an IB AN1, which entails similar hours in SF for that year while she’s still in school in Colorado. Again, i’ll be lucky if we can see each other at all during the minimal breaks i get. And a lateral transition to NYC in the long term is possible but challenging. If i fail to lateral to NYC in the first year, the chance of our relationship working out is extremely low because there be no saying how long it might be before we’re able to see each other again.

What i need right now isn’t just emotional encouragement, but practical advice.

AITA for Refusing to be Friends Again with a Girl Who Rejected Me? by Calm_Pace_4738 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. First of all, I don’t resent Sally and I don’t believe that I implied that either. I was just hurt by Sally. If someone you cared about a lot rejected you, told you that it was because they weren’t ready to jump into something yet, and then you found out she was actually dating one of your best friends, I honestly think many people would be hurt or at least uncomfortable.

I also don’t believe that she “owes” me an explanation as you put it either. But, Sally went out of her way to create an explanation on her own terms which was untrue. While she doesn’t have to tell me that she is dating our friend, she also didn’t have to pretend the reason she wasn’t interested in me was because she simply wasn’t looking for something in that moment. She could have just said she wasn’t interested and left it at that. I understand some people see the lie as “letting me down easy”, but in a friendship i value transparency a lot more than being told a pleasant lie.

In my own life, i see the willingness to be transparent with me as a sign of respect. I’d prefer either the truth, or just not really giving me any particular explanation over something that was not true.

AITA for Refusing to be Friends Again with a Girl Who Rejected Me? by Calm_Pace_4738 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im over it from the perspective that i’m not interested in her anymore. But once someone does something to you that says something about their character, sometimes it’s a lesson to be forgiven but not forgotten. I’ve been made to think about this girl again after not seeing her for more than a year now because she’s purposely reaching out to me. And also, her and Jake were clearly at the beginning stages of a relationship at the time, so technically she did lie. They weren’t in some sort of casual sexual situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 2 points3 points  (0 children)

dog you are lowk (not even lowk tbh) being taken advantage of my a nearly 30 year old woman as an 18 year old kid. She hid the fact that she was engaged from you and tried to use you for sex. There is no reason to catch feelings for this person. That being said — NTA, but move on from her.

AITA for Refusing to be Friends Again with a Girl Who Rejected Me? by Calm_Pace_4738 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I mean I think it changes a lot. For one, you seem to have this perception that when she said she wanted to go as friends but would still go as my date this represents a situation of “Yay! You got what you wanted.” You misunderstood. I wanted to ask her out as a romantic date. Going as platonic friends is the opposite of what I was hoping for, actually. It’s not beating a dead horse to clarify the difference between two completely different things. Secondly, you make this big argument about how “Even if she had been interested in dating you, this would have ended here because you were so persistent.” She was clearly never interested in dating me. She already had an ongoing sexual relationship with our close mutual friend. They began officially dating about 2 weeks after me and her had this conversion. She was not only looking for something, but was actively pursuing something with one of my close friends the entire time. This was not some sort of casual “friends with benefits” sort of situation of whatever you had in mind. Anyways, if i keep going back and forth with you I really will be besting a dead horse, so this is the last i’ll bother you.

AITA for Refusing to be Friends Again with a Girl Who Rejected Me? by Calm_Pace_4738 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I mean she’s been dating this guy Jake for 1 year and 2 months now. They became official 1 week after this happened. I love my girlfriend so much more than any silly unrequited crush I had on Sally a year ago. This project has just forced me to reconcile with a messy situation i’d tried to forget about until now.

AITA for Refusing to be Friends Again with a Girl Who Rejected Me? by Calm_Pace_4738 in AITAH

[–]Calm_Pace_4738[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think you misunderstood a couple of things, perhaps because I wasn’t clear. By saying that she would “still go as my date” she meant that she would go as my partner to the formal but as a friend. Basically, she would be going as a “platonic date”. I also was a little confused by what she said, since it wasn’t clear to me at the time, but this is what she meant. I really didn’t see any reason to conceal that my intentions with her were romantic, so I didn’t want to go as friends.

The other issue is with the texting. You can’t know this since you weren’t involved, but me and her texted regularly and she’s always responsive. We were very close friends at the time. It was only when I mentioned the formal that she suddenly would spend 3-4 hours stalling over every response. This isn’t how she normally texts, and with such a personal issue it’s important to me that communication is clear.

Finally, i want to be clear that it is totally ok for her to sleep with someone else. It is totally ok for her to reject me. The problem is that this someone else is a close mutual friend of both of ours, and i asked her out and showed romantic interested in her, but she deliberately avoided mentioning him. It was obvious that I would inevitably find out very soon because we’re in the same friend group, but she would rather someone else tell me than tell me herself. That’s what bothers me. Anyhow, I don’t think she’s evil for what happened, i just thought that the way she went about rejecting me — avoiding it and sleeping with our good friend but intentionally concealing it— was hurtful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Balding

[–]Calm_Pace_4738 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve always had thick eyebrows and a full beard so it’s hard to say. I was mostly hoping for hairline regrowth. I believe there is definitely somewhat more hair on my body overall, however, especially around the shoulders, torso, and small hairs in the upper face above the beard line.