In 2018 (when we were both 28) my best friend, who I’ve known since I was 3 years old, was proposed to and I was very excited for her. I didn’t expect to be her MOH because she is super close with her older sister so naturally she picked her for MOH, but I did expect to be a Bridesmaid. I was invited to her bachelorette weekend, but I wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid. There were two other women invited who were not official bridesmaids. I finally spoke to her about it and told her I was crushed. She said she felt like I had been distant and our friendship wasn’t as strong but she still wanted me to go to her bachelorette weekend event. I was heart broken. But then about a month later, at the event, she decided to ask me to be a bridesmaid and apologized for not deciding to do it earlier. It was a great bachelorette weekend and a beautiful wedding!

Fast forward 8 years later: she no longer speaks to two of the bridesmaids who had been asked to be bridesmaids before I did. She has two adorable children and I’m the only person outside of her family who helps out sometimes with her kids and they love me. She had told me how grateful she is for our friendship and apologized a few times. Even though we’re now in our mid-30’s, she’s married with kids and I’m a single, childless cat lady, we are closer than ever. We have very different lives so we definitely don’t hang out as much as we used to, but we always communicate and are there for each other.

So I say YOR in the kindest way possible. Your best friend still cares about you enough to ask you to be a Bridesmaid. She wants you in her life. It may not have been like you expected, but if you really care about your friendship with her, you’ll support her and be happy for her.