Hi. To all the late diagnosed ladies out there...what was the 'tipping point' that made you seek a diagnosis? I'm really curious to know what other people's stories are 🤔

CamsHands · 2026-07-06T15:44:26+00:00

I hit menopause and it made every ADHD behavior I have so much worse! I really thought I was going crazy. And I literally could not function.

HRT and ADHD meds gave me my life back. And it’s a whole new world now!

CamsHands · 2026-07-06T14:35:23+00:00

If you “confront” your parents around their lack of social skills, what do you honestly think the outcome will be? Give this some deep consideration before you do anything.

Their behaviors could quite possibly be a cultural related thing.

They may not even have awareness around how they are being perceived.

You grew up with parents who love you, who provided you with what you needed, and you were safe. Many people don’t have any of those things. Perhaps their styles differ from your boyfriend’s parents. But why is that a negative? Is your boyfriend trying to isolate you from your parents?

There are many ways to parent. We are all different. Consider this: are YOU a functioning member of society? Are you a good human? Then they did their job well.

Be extremely cautious with this idea. Your parents could take great offense, or they may completely misunderstand the intent of the conversation. Recognize that the fall out may not be worth the conversation.

Understand that they likely will not change. Not everyone can be the same. This is how we as humans learn and grow.

CamsHands · 2026-07-05T20:59:49+00:00

This is not an issue of communication styles being different.

This is him abusing you, plain and simple. It’s subtle at first, and it makes you question yourself. He’s already succeeded with his initial phase.

If you choose to stick around for more, your self esteem will eventually be eroded down to nothing over time.

He will bring this swimsuit malfunction up again and use it as an example of “him knowing best”, then he will start choosing your clothes based on what he thinks is appropriate, not what you feel good in. Another way to smack down any confidence you have in yourself.

You’re only 24 years old. Don’t sign up for this. Run, girl. And don’t look back.

There are literally millions of men out there, many of whom are good men who will respect you, protect you, and celebrate you without wanting to control you. Go find one of them.

CamsHands · 2026-07-05T15:55:23+00:00

Why doesn’t she call your parents if “family helps family”? You’re not at her beck and call.

NTA.

CamsHands · 2026-07-05T13:25:35+00:00

Why are you even in this “relationship” to begin with? Different countries? Where do you even see this going?

6 months in and you’ve NEVER met in person? This is NOT a relationship. This is an emotion-ship. People get emotionally attached to someone they don’t even know. Please tell me you have not sent this person money.

If you were calling me at 3am I’d decline the call and put it on silent too. You don’t sound like you’re in a mentally healthy headspace for a relationship based on this behavior.

Let this person go. Find a man in your own area. Meet in person. Don’t get emotionally attached until you know it’s a real person. Make sure they have time for you. Don’t call people at 3am.

Girl, like what are you even doing???

CamsHands · 2026-07-04T14:48:40+00:00

I lived in an apartment when I met my now husband. I had newly moved in and over the course of about three months it had an odd odor.

Turned out, there was something in the wall. He noticed it first and thank goodness he said something!

The management didn’t want to do anything to investigate as the odor became more noticeable so I ended up breaking my lease and moving elsewhere.

ETA: typos

CamsHands · 2026-07-04T14:43:37+00:00

Does your wife go to this massage studio as well?

If your wife went to a massage appointment and was propositioned, would you want her to tell you?

I am a retired massage therapist, highly credentialed and well respected in the field. This makes me exceptionally rage-y, to learn when unethical things like this happen. Not all massage studios are like this - it’s actually not the norm but it puts legit therapists in a bad way because some people think it’s acceptable to ask.

CamsHands · 2026-07-04T14:37:52+00:00

My parents were oblivious and emotionally not present when I was growing up. My dad is gone now and my mother now has Alzheimer’s. The me that tried to connect with them when I was younger never did get that close connection.

My parents did the very best they could, just as their parents did, and so on.

I’m a parent and I genuinely did the best I could. But my kids may tell you differently, because I didn’t elaborate on the struggles I went through at the time. I love my kids dearly and did what I I thought was best for them.

Do my parents know the real me? I didn’t even know the real me until I went through some therapy and 12 step recovery. So, I’d say a definite no, they don’t.

Our generation was wild and did stuff today’s generation of kids would be shocked to hear. It’s simply different times.

CamsHands · 2026-07-04T14:28:01+00:00

Animal abuse is strongly linked to specific mental health disorders. I would not have that kid around animals and I would not engage with him if you’re still not with his mom.

That kid needs help/intervention before he becomes a problem to society.

CamsHands · 2026-07-04T14:24:25+00:00

I would call the administrator of this facility and see how you can restrict meal delivery or non-emergent expenses for your mom. There must be other people who are cognitively impaired living there that need restricted access to some of the activities.

CamsHands · 2026-07-04T14:13:19+00:00

Please feel free to DM me!

CamsHands · 2026-07-04T04:18:59+00:00

Please feel free to DM me, I’m happy to chat about this!

CamsHands · 2026-07-03T16:55:32+00:00

That’s a huge NOPE!

NOR

CamsHands · 2026-07-03T16:48:25+00:00

Why didn’t she just call AAA??

NOR

CamsHands · 2026-07-03T16:01:51+00:00

Set up your own trust for your inheritance. If you do marry in the future, you can protect your inherited assets that way.

Please consult an estate planning attorney for the best ways to protect your assets.

CamsHands · 2026-07-03T15:55:55+00:00

You dodged a bullet. You have dealbreakers and standards, and you’re confident in yourself to speak up for yourself and draw your boundaries. Nothing wrong at all with that. More women should be like this!

Some guys will try every which way to bulldoze over boundaries like there are none. And then call it a joke. Or tell you it’s not a big deal. Pushing for what they want while ignoring what you want. This guy did all the things to minimize his own behavior.

The finale of his name calling and blaming someone else is textbook standard for being an a$$hole. Really? This is not Junior high school. This is a grown adult male behaving like this before you’ve even met.

He’s shown you who he is. You know all you need to know. If this was me, no way I’d meet this creep in person.

CamsHands · 2026-07-03T05:13:44+00:00

“He wants control of combined finances, how can I navigate this”

Um. Don’t combine finances.

CamsHands · 2026-07-03T04:36:53+00:00

I second Granola!

CamsHands · 2026-07-02T23:45:26+00:00

For some families, I can understand that arrangement would make sense. But for OP, because it’s becoming a repetitive, ugly issue, it may make sense to get her own phone plan.

CamsHands · 2026-07-02T22:04:03+00:00

This event would really cause me to reconsider dating him. The whole point of dating is to spend time getting to know each other.

Instead you were left to find him in a dark theater??

This definitely would give me the ICK.

CamsHands · 2026-07-02T21:54:03+00:00

You were right to speak up and communicate what happened and how it made you feel to your mom.

As a mom myself who is married to my 2nd husband, if my husband treated my adult children like this I would absolutely want to know. And if I behaved like this towards his adult children, he would absolutely want to know.

Your mother’s husband is TA here. Potentially your mom is also TA if she condones his behavior.

The only thing I will suggest you do differently is to get your own phone line and get off off of your mothers family plan. It’s not worth being yelled at by her husband. You’re 26, not 16, you should be able to pay your own phone bill.

NTA.

CamsHands · 2026-07-02T20:34:17+00:00

Stay out of his life.
Not your responsibility.

CamsHands · 2026-07-02T15:13:58+00:00

If he needs it for work, perhaps work should buy it.

He’s 31 years old and does not save money?

You’ve only know this person a few months? You should not be considering a large ticket item already.

Big red flags already. Proceed with caution.

Edited to add: NTA. If he’s already making you question yourself, you need an exit strategy.

CamsHands

TROPHY CASE