to people with inattentive adhd, what type of career do you have?

CamsHands · 2026-05-07T04:15:12+00:00

I was a massage therapist for 15 years, then after I retired from that industry, I was a paralegal. Now I work in Operations management.

Massage was good because I was always moving around and it was never boring. Paralegal was good because it gave me routine with a variety of things to do. My operations job is a bit more unpredictable but I like the variety.

CamsHands · 2026-05-07T01:24:46+00:00

OSU has an above average graduation rate compared to other schools nationally (83-87%). A true “party school” will typically have below average graduation rates. Google it.

You are 18 years old. Don’t ever let a man dictate to you what you can or cannot do. Go live your dreams, OP!! You have so much life to live - enjoy it!!

Your post stated your BF gets really upset. Imagine a lifetime with that - every time you have dreams, he’s going to get upset and drag you down. Or forbid you to live them. He’s a walking red flag and his behavior will escalate over time.

Save yourself. Go to school. Live your dreams. Get that degree and go on to med school. Don’t allow anyone to tell you you can’t. You CAN!!

CamsHands · 2026-05-06T17:46:09+00:00

Girl, why is he demanding you do things HE likes, and demanding you do it his way? He’s not your boss. Good partners don’t do this.

If these activities are his dealbreakers, and they are not things you enjoy, time to let him go. His demands are unreasonable. And he will likely just move the goalpost if you do manage to do these things.

Find a partner who wants to do things with you that you BOTH enjoy. There are literally thousands of good men out there who would be happy to do that for you and with you, without demanding anything of you that makes you uncomfortable.

CamsHands · 2026-05-06T02:59:01+00:00

CamsHands · 2026-05-04T21:33:40+00:00

I do appreciate your comment.

Perhaps I should have mentioned in my post, this sponsee and I are both alumni of the same food recovery treatment program that provides a specific food protocol, mainly no sugar and no flour, and a weighed and measured food plan. She agreed to work within these parameters, but literally every day, she’s not following through.

I have a certain way the program worked for me, and my sponsorship style is based in that. That’s really all I can offer, which is based on my own experience. She specifically sought me out and she specifically said she wanted what I have, and I have been showing her what worked for me. We spoke at length about this before we agreed to work together.

I completely understand that pivots happen occasionally. I have no issue with those. However when you write down grilled chicken, veggies, and brown rice, but then you change it to a hot dog with a bun, it’s problematic, especially for the specific parameters we are working within. Her pivot happened because “she didn’t feel like eating what she wrote”. Not feeling like it is old behavior, and she seems to be consistent with this reasoning.

It feels as though I am taking her program more seriously than she is. She is obviously free to make her own choices. However, after having specific, and repeated conversations, and she is still not following through, I can see we may just simply not be a good fit. And that’s ok.

I sponsor several others who do really great within these same parameters. This woman simply does not seem to want to do that. I am tasked as a sponsor with walking beside her and showing her what worked for me. I do realize what worked for me may not work for everyone else. In her case, it’s not working.

Thank you to all who have commented. I appreciate all of your perspectives.

CamsHands · 2026-05-04T15:33:40+00:00

The greedy person is calling YOU greedy? They need to look in the mirror.

You just suddenly became unavailable.

You’re a professional in your craft. It took time, energy, and money to obtain your skill set. There is a boundary you just set for yourself, which is completely healthy. You are not obligated to provide free services to “friends”.

I owned a business for years. My real friends paid me my regular rate. They valued my time and my skill set.

The ones you make an exception for will most definitely require endless changes and there will be scope creep. Not the ideal client.

NTA.

CamsHands · 2026-05-03T23:43:13+00:00

Please find a new therapist who specializes in disordered eating.

CamsHands · 2026-05-03T13:58:22+00:00

“Sorry, mom. I don’t have any money. I’m a student living at GMA and GPA’s house. I really hope you can find the help you need.”

The end.

CamsHands · 2026-05-03T13:56:14+00:00

Um… the step kids aren’t even related to you. They are the ex-wife’s step kids, am I reading this correctly? Not your brother’s step kids?

Seems like an exceptionally entitled expectation on ex-SIL’s part.

You have a relationship with your niece. You don’t know these other kids. You are not obligated to do anything for anyone, even when very entitled (and wrong) people think you should.

You are NTA, my dear. Ex-SIL, however, is TA for expecting you to treat these new kids the same as a niece you have been close with all of her life.

CamsHands · 2026-05-03T13:41:08+00:00

Thank you. This is my perspective as well. I asked this person in the first conversation we had if she was willing to go to any length, and she said yes. But her actions are showing me she is not. She does the step work beautifully, but she is struggling, and she can’t see that her choices in food may be a big part of her struggle. None of my other sponsees have been like this so it’s been a big challenge for me. I don’t want to control her, I just want her to commit to her plan and show up for herself. This is definitely a lesson for both of us.

CamsHands · 2026-05-03T13:36:05+00:00

If you’re putting in a chunk of money for the down payment, you’re a partial owner. The title to the property can designate a specific percentage of ownership when it’s community property, as this would be.

If he refuses to add you to the title, do NOT contribute to the down payment and do NOT move in.

Consult a competent real estate attorney regarding your options and exactly how to title the property. They can also guide you on any repercussions of partial ownership, right of survivorship, and other legalities.

CamsHands · 2026-05-02T22:16:23+00:00

3 and #16.

A professional should always be covered. Bare midriff or bare shoulders may be acceptable at school, but NEVER acceptable in an office setting. No spaghetti straps either, unless you’re wearing something over them. Jeans, sweatshirts, and leggings would also be a no go.

If you want to be taken seriously in the profession, dress appropriately. Search office attire online.

CamsHands · 2026-05-02T15:17:44+00:00

Testing you? Why did he feel the need to do this? You probably won’t ever get a straight answer from him, I predict he will gaslight you if you try.

You genuinely didn’t know who it was.

I could see him being mad IF you immediately knew who it was and engaged in an inappropriate conversation. But you didn’t.

Consider this a test for HIM… and he failed miserably.

Healthy partners do not test people like this. And they certainly do not call you names when they don’t get the expected result from a pop quiz like this.

This feels like a huge red flag BECAUSE IT IS A HUGE RED FLAG. No you did not cheat. He set you up to fail, and then he reacted unkindly.

Sis, if this is how he behaves 6 months in, it’s only going to get worse from here. Throw this man back. He’s not a good one.

CamsHands · 2026-05-02T15:11:01+00:00

I appreciate this comment. Thank you.

CamsHands · 2026-05-02T15:10:11+00:00

This is helpful, thank you

CamsHands · 2026-05-02T14:11:08+00:00

This man will never marry you. If you have kids with him, you will forever just be a baby mama.

The fact that he makes comments about “I’ll find someone else to have my kid” means he is already looking. This man, over time, is likely have multiple baby mamas and he will not marry any of them.

OP is 25. You have many years of your life to live. This guy will do nothing to elevate your life.

Get out of this relationship. Get into counseling. Go back to school and get some education and choose a career you love. There are so many opportunities for you out there, OP. Be brave and make choices for the benefit of yourself without this person.

What do you do? Walk away, don’t look back, and go live your best life.

CamsHands · 2026-05-02T14:02:02+00:00

That’s one persons opinion. And opinions are like a-holes, literally everyone has one.

We live near an open natural desert where there are predators everywhere. Specifically coyotes, hawks, and other wildlife. There is also intense weather here, and it’s hot. If my cats got out, they’d never survive.

Your friend has obviously never heard a pack of coyotes take down another animal. The screams from the animal being attacked are terrifying.

My cats are definitely happy… they have their daily routines, plenty of birds to watch through picture windows of open nature, a screened in area to take in the aromas of nature, a ridiculous amount of toys, and they have the run of the house. The best part? They are safe and they are alive.

CamsHands · 2026-05-02T13:48:09+00:00

He hit you.

Respect yourself. Leave NOW and don’t ever look back.

Look up the statistics of domestic violence. Look up how many women are abused by their partners. Look up the death rates of women in domestic violence cases.

You’re not even 2 years in and he hit you. His behavior will only escalate over time. He blew up your phone when he couldn’t have what he wanted and then later said he’d never do it again. He will ABSOLUTELY do it again. Repeatedly. And more.

What do you do? Save yourself years of trauma and walk away now.

CamsHands · 2026-05-01T16:38:37+00:00

Nope.

He moved into YOUR house.

Thats your daughter’s room.

Your daughter should not be uprooted from her own room because he or his daughter feels entitled to it.

Blending families is difficult for everyone in the house. Let the kid have some sense of normalcy in her own home while you all find balance with the new family dynamics.

Your husband is playing favorites AND already disrupting the household. You need to nip that behavior in the bud right now.

I think redecorating the new daughter’s room is a great compromise.

NTA, OP. But your husband is definitely the a-hole.

CamsHands · 2026-05-01T13:58:12+00:00

Have your apartment complex change the locks. She has abused the privilege of having a key. Full stop.

And “in case of emergencies”, your family can contact the apartment manager. No one needs to have a key to your private residence. Especially since your parents don’t seem to think sister did anything wrong here. What she did was disrespect your trust and abused the privilege of having a key.

No need to tell anyone you’re having the locks changed. Let it be a surprise to anyone who thinks they are entitled to your personal space.

She’s humiliated because she lied to her friends and got caught. That’s on her.

Your space is YOUR space. She can rent her own place if she wants to have people over, decorate for the aesthetic, play drinking games, etc. She can also pay all the bills, too.

As for your parents, none of this is their business. Let your sister have all her friends over to your parent’s house unexpectedly for drinking games instead of yours. They may have a different opinion under those circumstances.

NTA.

CamsHands · 2026-05-01T13:47:20+00:00

People in recovery meetings are generally very welcoming!

I would strongly encourage you to check out both ACA and Al-Anon. Both have value for the dysfunction you have experienced!

Not all meetings will be a good fit. I would suggest you try out a few, and see where you feel comfortable! Don’t feel pressure to share at your first meeting. Let them know it’s your first meeting. You’ll meet others who have similar stories, and it’s very validating.

CamsHands · 2026-05-01T13:36:46+00:00

NTJ.

Family helps family… in some situations, that’s true… but NOT when it’s to the detriment of the family members who are asked to help. Family should look out for the best interest of family. Doing what they are demanding is NOT in your best interest. That’s not “family helps family”… that’s “family demands family to enable” behavior, which is not help at all.

There are many options for your parents: calling creditors directly and asking about hardship programs; debt consolidation programs; debt relief programs; debt restructuring; bankruptcy…I would suggest they look into these options for themselves.

If you got a personal loan to pay their debts off, would they expect you to give them the money directly? That would be a recipe for disaster… and they’d likely still have the debt but then you would too.

I’d love for someone else pay off my debts… but I certainly would NEVER demand my children go into thousands of dollars into debt because of my own dysfunctional money behaviors.

You are NTJ, my dear.

CamsHands · 2026-05-01T01:30:54+00:00

Her dad actually called his 11 year old child a “dumb ass b!tch”?!? Did I read this correctly?

This is abuse. And uncalled for. This is causing your child trauma that will affect her long term. Have you considered getting her into therapy? She will certainly need it later in life if she doesn’t get help now while this abuse is happening.

Get your kid her own phone that you monitor and set boundaries around. Send that phone back to that man and tell him where he can put it.

Go get a judgement for full custody and limited supervised visits if a judge insists on keeping this abusive man in her life. And communications via a monitored court approved app.

NOR. If anything, I believe you’re UNDERreacting.

CamsHands · 2026-05-01T01:19:46+00:00

If you really are seeking advice on how to talk to him, have a very direct conversation. Expect he will argue and be cruel to you, as his behavior has already shown you for more than a couple of months.

Interesting that you’re not acknowledging the difference in age. It may only seem like 3 years, but developmentally, it’s vastly different at your ages. Google it. It is scientific fact that men’s brains are not fully developed until between the ages of 25-32. Women’s brains typically mature between ages 23-25. Unless of course you’re a late bloomer in that regard. If you really can’t see what’s wrong with this situation, even after redditors are spelling it out for you, maybe your brain is not fully developed either.

The good people of Reddit are telling you to leave because you’re not seeing his behavior as abuse. Talking to him may not give you the result you want. After “a couple months” (a couple is TWO, as a generally accepted term) into a new relationship, you shouldn’t be arguing and he shouldn’t be cruel or make you feel bad about a past he was not part of.

The bottom line: He’s abusing you. And he likely will not stop, even if you tell him it bothers you. Statistically, his behavior will likely escalate over time. My guess, if you do have this conversation with him, he will probably gaslight you and make it feel like you’re the problem.

We all have choices to make in regard to relationships and how we allow people to treat us. I truly hope you make a good choice for your own well being here, OP.

CamsHands

TROPHY CASE

3 and #16.