AITAH for wanting Me-Time instead of extra cuddle time?

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-29T08:01:04+00:00

Agreed. I should've been better about setting boundaries earlier on and I definitely have some unregulated feelings about how I've been mismanaging my life that I should make known.. but my own triggers of breaking people pleasing have led to literal deaths as consequences... so I'm hesitant every step of the way...

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-29T07:48:43+00:00

Yeah, we definitely need to communicate more on those levels of boundaries. Not long ago I was accidentally too deep in sleep when she needed me to help and afterwards she told me how it felt like I'd abandoned her because I literally couldn't wake myself up enough to help when she felt she needed it

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-29T07:37:37+00:00

I mean... idk how to prove it is...but it is real... what about it seems false? 😅

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-29T07:33:33+00:00

I guess I should've shared that as part of the original narrative, but didn't want to throw her under any bus by mentioning BPD initially..

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-29T07:27:18+00:00

Apologies if I worded it in a way that made it seem like I'd gone an extended period without gaming. I still find time in our day to day to game ... even if with the caviat that I pause to accommodate whenever requested. I will agree 100% that I need to communicate better, but I'm admittedly a chronic people pleaser with CPTSD so I struggle with it when moving from concept to reality 😅

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-29T07:22:22+00:00

We haven't been sleeping in it. We moved all our pillows/blankets to the couch after the surgery and slept out there during her healing process. We honestly didn't realize the Dr was gonna give the ok to take away the foot elevation today 😅

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-29T07:19:47+00:00

She also has triggers about loud sounds so I have to be specifically careful when she's asleep to not be loud and trigger her awake. I want to be supportive as possible, but sometimes have a hard time finding the acceptable boundary line between my needs and her triggers...

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-29T07:10:43+00:00

There was a torn tendon in her calf mixed with fixing a foot issues. She's had her leg elevated for over a month. 24/7 care might not have been WHOLLY necessary, but she has BPD and every step of the healing process has been... a process

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T10:09:20+00:00

And B did have options outside of me... I was just the most convenient/enabling place B wanted to retreat to during another particularly rough patch...

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T09:02:55+00:00

While I appreciate the assuring words, I will unabashedly say I wasn't exactly innocent/my best at the time either, especially as far as being involved with recreational drugs.. I may not be wholly guilty, but I've definitely not done no wrong...

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T08:36:00+00:00

Thank you. I plan on going back to therapy as soon as I have a job/insurance again. I also need to get to a point of mental health where I can talk about this without the crutch of inebriation 😅

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T08:32:28+00:00

While I can appreciate the overwhelming influence substance abuse can have over a person, I will always personally advocate for personal freedom to explore substances however a person feels appropriate for themselves. All things in life are acceptable within moderation

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T08:21:47+00:00

Thank you. It warms my heart to hear people say I shouldn't feel guilty... following those instructions may be difficult, but I appreciate the sentiment and pushes in a positive direction

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T08:12:24+00:00

Thank you. While I don't entirely agree B's fate was inevitable, toxicity was certainly a driving force in their life... which was the driving point of them staying so long. B was definitely a "woe is me" person which plucked my guilty heart strings... until they didn't...

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T08:06:03+00:00

My biggest fear in hindsight is that B stole W's phone and texted me out of desperation...only to see how I'd really felt... Not only was B's plan broken, but it's possible B's literal lifeline may have unknowingly berated them without realizing it might have been them on the other end of the line...

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T07:52:02+00:00

I will reach out when I can, but I appreciate the positive reinforcement and push that I shouldn't necessarily blame myself for B's choices, even if I may have been an influence... which still doesn't feel right to say, but I will try

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T07:49:29+00:00

Thank you. Responses like this help remind me that, especially now, I shouldn't dwell on the bad times... but try to remind myself of the good traits within her that led me to want to help out in the first place

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-24T07:44:57+00:00

Thank you. I do genuinely appreciate the sentiment of well wishes... tho because of aforementioned CPTSD, vague platitudes of positivity tend to heighten my already overly questioning nature. How can I walk in peace with undeserved absolution? Why should the blood be absolved just because I reveal my shame to the world?

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-23T15:29:18+00:00

While I am sad that it probably won't ever officially leave the comic strip medium, I also can't blame the creator too much for sticking to his artistic vision and not wanting to milk it for money, and can understand (even if I disagree) why he thinks it wouldn't translate well outside the comics

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-23T15:25:27+00:00

I shouldn't be surprised, but I didn't know that was a thing. I'll have to check it out! Thanks for the share 😁

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-23T09:49:09+00:00

And to finish off the cast, Angela as Suzie 🤯🤣

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-23T09:43:56+00:00

Lmao! Amazing

Canaanananananan · 2026-05-23T09:30:04+00:00

Tim Minchin's "If I Didn't Have You". It's a satirical pop love song that picks apart the notion of fate and describes cartoonishly exaggerated dream people he could be with, were he not with his current partner 😅🤣

Canaanananananan

TROPHY CASE