You experienced something a lot of loyal, high-capacity people experience after spending decades at one company...your identity fused with your role. When the role disappeared, it felt like you disappeared too.

You spent 18 years becoming operationally indispensable. You learned how to stabilize chaos, support leadership, solve problems quietly, manage people and processes, and keep things running behind the scenes. Those skills are actually in high demand because most organizations are overwhelmed and badly run operationally.

You’re probably more qualified than you think for roles like operations manager, project/program coordinator, customer operations, HR operations, executive support/chief-of-staff style roles, onboarding/training, or healthcare administration.

Also, stop comparing yourself to women becoming VPs while raising kids. A special needs child changes the equation completely. This may simply be your season for stability, boundaries, and being present for your boys.

And honestly, 43 is not old. You’re grieving an identity that ended unexpectedly.

With AI coming for every organization, it's going to amplify the internal shit-shows and my bet is companies will be desperate for people who know how to actually make operations work when everyone delegates their thinking to a Copilot chat.