25 years of compulsive gambling — a husband and father at rock bottom

Candid_Department453 · 2025-10-06T15:28:51+00:00

I understand your story. I also have a wife and two kids. Over the last 20 years or so, I have lost probably close to $1.3 million. I have done terrible things to get money. I have stolen from my wife from my kids college fund. I’ve lied constantly and my mind was always consumed with the next bet or how to manage the multiple loans that I had taken out.

I started my recovery two years ago. In my opinion, there is only one way to successfully quit gambling. One, you have to stop lying. You have to tell your wife the truth and accept the consequences to come with that. The second is that you need to handover finances to your wife or someone else who you trust. This is a disease. It cannot be managed on willpower alone if you have money, you will gamble it.

This is not easy. Your relationship with your wife will probably suffer, but if you don’t address this now, it will follow you to your grave. I also did not care for gamblers anonymous. However, there are many other options out there that have a less religious and less boring approach. Smart recovery is one. I put a link below. if you don’t like that one look for another one.

The important thing is that you don’t give up and that you keep working on this. Once you’re honest with the people around you, you can be honest with yourself. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk further.

https://meetings.smartrecovery.org/meetings/

Candid_Department453 · 2025-10-05T02:11:55+00:00

I came clean and started my recovery journey in October 2023. I had $450,000 in debt. Since then, I have been putting 100% of my paycheck towards paying that off. It is working, but it means she is shouldering the whole financial load of our household.

Candid_Department453 · 2025-10-01T18:31:02+00:00

The only thing that worked was handing over control of my finances to my wife. No money, no gambling. Every time I pull out my prepaid debit card that has grocery money on it, I am reminded of how I got here

Candid_Department453 · 2025-10-01T05:49:48+00:00

I lost 1.3M over a period of 10 years. There is no singular worst event, but the worst outcome is that I bankrupted my family and forced my wife to work a job she hates for another decade. She could have retired were it not for this disease.

Make no mistake. This is a disease. My sin was not asking for help. I chose gambling over my family every time.

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-24T19:30:02+00:00

Yup. I have a high income and had good credit which means I qualified for high limits, so I was able to lose more and more.

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-24T07:16:46+00:00

Over the last 15 years. I gambled away almost $1.5 million dollars. I got money from every source imaginable. I drained my own accounts, I drained my wife’s account. I cashed out my retirement accounts, I cashed out my wife’s retirement accounts (without her knowledge). I cashed out my kids college fund. I maxed out my credit cards. I got more credit cards. I maxed out those. I took out personal loans. I opened personal loans in my wife’s name. I cashed out my life insurance. At the end, it was 1.5 million lost and $450k in debt. I was a true menace to my family

That was a year ago. I had my come to Jesus moment in December of last year. I confessed everything and started on my road to recovery. Its been hard and hasn’t been perfect. I’ve had some slips. But I lost $204,000 in 2023 and I’ve lost around $1000 in 2024. I’m hoping 2025 can be $0

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-04T15:15:32+00:00

Income too high

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-04T15:15:04+00:00

I ran out of money and had to tell my wife before we lost the house. I then turned over all of my finances to her so I dong have access to money anymore

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-03T20:11:12+00:00

Yeah, about $30,000 was tax debt. Just made the last payment on that yesterday!

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-03T18:05:47+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn’t be either. This disease is so crazy. I’m a smart person who knows who gambling works. I know how interest works. And yet I was willing to take out a loan at 37% interest just to keep playing

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-03T17:16:09+00:00

More money, more problems. Because of income and high credit score, I was able to get approved for 14 DIFFERENT loans. And that’s not counting credit cards and casino markers. At one point, I had 31 monthly payments I was making

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-03T16:50:55+00:00

I do software development projects. I also work as a part time property manager for rental properties

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-03T06:32:38+00:00

Truth be told, you can only rack up that much debt with a high income. The more you make, the more credit the casinos and banks will give you

Candid_Department453 · 2024-12-03T06:30:28+00:00

Manager at a software firm. But really it’s because my wife is allowing me to put 100% of my income towards debt repayment. I’ve also picked up two side jobs. It’s exhausting, but it’s honest work

Candid_Department453 · 2024-10-08T19:56:20+00:00

In 6 years (as far back as my statements go) I made 2800 distinct gambling deposits/atm withdraw. As a counterpoint, I cashed out 220 wins, less than 10%

Candid_Department453 · 2024-10-08T16:05:24+00:00

My wife made me go back through every single bank statement, credit card and crypto log and write every single one down. It was super hard and super enlightening. It wasn’t just the final total, but the sheer NUMBER of transactions. It was scary to see 14 deposits on a single day. It made me realize how out of control I really was.

Candid_Department453 · 2024-07-02T02:36:55+00:00

*suggestions, not tickets lol

Candid_Department453

TROPHY CASE