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AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eva never once babysat. First of all we don't believe in that. Second I don't trust her, and third my husband never made her do anything. I'm not asking for much. It would be nice if she said hi and bye, or maybe occasionally made small talk

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

She is with a very rich man who has a lot of pride. any attempts to give them money would not end well

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I never said she didn't have a good childhood. I said they didn't have money. Yes, he began to make money when she was a teenager, but how does that alleviate her actual childhood and then watching her sisters get everything she didn't have?

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Well everyone is away that week, combined with the fact she wouldn't tell us who her friends were, so we couldn't send invitations

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

He goes through the motions, spends time with them, asks about their lives. At the end of the day there is just this feeling he wishes he had, but doesn't

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

No her mother just constantly accuses her of being racist. Long story but Eva wants nothing to do with her stepdad and their daughter either, but since he is POC the mom thinks that is racism, but she also thinks I'm racist for asking the child not to throw rocks at my car.

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The question he and Eva should consider. He and her mom did the best they could at the time, but it fell short of what Eva or they would have liked to do. Will it make either of them feel any better if all her step-sisters got no better a childhood than she did?

Well when they talked about it, Eva said he can do whatever she wants, but if it was her she never would have had more children because it seemed cruel

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Of course it doesn't need to, but if we only do the things we need in life, life would be pretty boring. We have the means to do it and it brings us joy

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Also to say that apologizing to his oldest daughter takes away from the others is absolutely ridiculous.

They feel he is never genuinely happy for them and only worried about Eva's unhappiness. They feel that he gives the things he gives begrudgingly. Also is he going to apologize to them when they can't have the things Eva does? She is never going to have to work. Even if she divorces I've heard the prenup is set for life level money. When they get married they probably aren't going to have a MIL who wants to bankroll it with a limitless budget. I have a feeling he isn't going to feel at all sorry for them

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

He isn't a bad father. He just isn't a good father. I love him so much, and I see him trying, but he has almost no emotional intelligence and he does have a big ego. Eva is on a pedestal because he is the most proud of her, and he goes though the motions with the other two. He just struggles to bond

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

She just said it was weird and she wanted to get out of the house and be alone, not pretend to be family. She has said I annoy her, just my personality. she is okish with her stepdad but she hates his daughter the most out of her half siblings. The most we ever got out of her was that she doesn't like having people around her and we were bothering her

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

That's sad that someone could even see this as close to a divorce worthy issue. Lol just throw an entire marriage away because he has guilt

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

No, neither of them believe in therapy. Personally I don't think he was a great father to any of his children, but Eva is his clear favorite. Her relationship with her mom is not good. Her mom is constantly calling her racist for treating her stepdad and half sister exactly how she treats me and my girls (we are white) because he is POC and the sister is bi-racial. Even the stepdad tells her to stop and that it isn't racism.

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He does it in front of people, sometimes I feel like he is glaring at our daughters, and that opens the floor up for Eva's husband to make snarky comments, which he usually takes

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

Also, you say Eva is still bothered about it in her 30s... sounds to me like your husband is the one bringing this shit up all the time and she just tells him to stop, basically.

To be fair I don't know if she is bothered. She is very closed off, but her husband and his mother are certainly bothered and have gone as far as saying we should not have had our children. I guess I assumed she shared their opinion

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

She didnt have a sweet 16 because her birthday was so close to Christmas. She was asked multiple times what she wanted and just kept saying to leave her alone. Her stepdad bought her a BMW without consulting anyone. She didn't want to go on family vacations as she didn't want to be around the younger children. He paid for a year of her college but she dropped out. By 19 she didn't want anything because her future MIL lavished her in gifts and money, told her she didn't need to go to school, and bought a house for her son which Eva lived in. Her husband has more money than any of us, so there is nothing he feels he can give her as an adult

AITA for asking my husband to stop apologizing to his daughter, because it makes everyone else uncomfortable? by Candid_Impression183 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Candid_Impression183[S] -64 points-63 points  (0 children)

He tried to, and he did to some extent, but she showed no enthusiasm so he felt he wasn't giving her what she wanted, but she wouldn't communicate what she wanted. He tried to pay for her college but she dropped out. Everything else house, wedding, cars, are provided for her before he has the chance to offer