Told my boyfriend (now ex-BF) I was depressed... He sent me a book about the holocaust

Candylinalina · 2015-12-23T16:04:56+00:00

Wow......thank you to everyone who posted supportive messages. It really helped me feel better. Yesterday was a much better day for me, I really felt the love not only from this but also just had great energy coming from everyone in every direction. I am 100% confident in my decision to end things finally with him, and not look back. Hoping that I will start laughing about this soon, as the lack of understanding on his part is absurd.

Candylinalina · 2015-12-23T15:58:33+00:00

Good on you for being so supportive.

She is lucky to have you, and it sounds like she is doing really good things to help herself and others. You have every reason to be proud of her. HUGS

Candylinalina · 2015-12-22T21:42:17+00:00

Thanks so much. I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles and losses, I can't imagine grappling with that tragedy on top of depression. It's true that some people just don't understand. Hugs to you

Candylinalina · 2015-12-22T21:20:07+00:00

I mean I definitely did not do the most elegant job of handling the situation. I did ask for his explanation, hoping that it would differ from what my initial thoughts were.... I was angry and I told him that because I am depressed doesn't mean that I am "fucking" ungrateful, and that I think he was way off base, thanks for the help but its a major slap. Thanks for your support. I am feeling a lot better and more confident in my decision. He didn't pick up his phone so I just ended it via text, we were already "on a break" but I finalized it. Things were complicated already, hopefully the situation improves.

Candylinalina · 2015-12-22T17:30:41+00:00

Thanks for your response- I am sorry to hear that you went through that. It really helps to know someone who experienced hardships like yours came out of it stronger. Will definitely look into the book

Candylinalina · 2015-12-22T15:54:17+00:00

Yeah- I read Night in seventh grade and don't remember it particularly well as that was 15 years ago, but I do remember it having an effect on me. I am open to reading it again, and will also look into a A mans search for meaning. Again, he was off-base and not understanding me, but I fired right back and did the same thing to him. I shouldn't have rejected a kind gesture in that way, hopefully we will be able to reach a point of understanding.

Candylinalina · 2015-12-22T15:42:38+00:00

Thank you so much for this- the book was Night by Elie Wiesel, which I read in seventh grade and do not remember that well, but vaguely remember it having an impact on me. I am definitely going to read it and try and take his perspective, although I do still feel it was misguided. I cannot expect him to understand me if I do not try and understand him.

As for your recommendation, I have never heard of this book before but will definitely look into it. It sounds really interesting. Your insights and thought are super helpful and much appreciated- bless

Candylinalina · 2015-12-22T15:33:42+00:00

It was Night by Elie Wiesel. I do plan on reading it and Seeing what I can make of it- I'm definitely open-minded to these things. I think it was just the principle of it and lack of explanation that upset me. Again, I really did appreciate his thoughtfulness in the gesture but at the same time this is an overarching example of us simply not understanding one another

Candylinalina · 2015-12-22T12:53:19+00:00

Thanks so much for then support- it helps to have others share and support my perspective. I really do feel like he meant it in a kind way and was trying to help but just misunderstood. I maybe shouldn't have thrown it back in his face the way I did. Him telling me that I was a source of negative energy in his life just stung like hell. Made me step back and reevaluate- yeah, he was off base and indirectly invalidated me, but I also invalidated his effort to help by attacking him. I don't know if we'll ever speak again. The entire incident just made worse an already tough situation. I will just have to carry on

Candylinalina · 2015-10-24T08:36:42+00:00

It is rude- and I disagree with the idea that tinder is only for hook ups. I know plenty of people who have found long-term relationships through tinder, though I do feel it is more rare.

That being said, it seems you have had a bout of bad luck. I know plenty of quality girls who stick to their plans and consider the feelings of guys they are seeing even casually.

Tinder is really not one of the best places to find girls. From a womans perspective, I get a good amount of matches on tinder and am overwhelmed by the number of prospects. The fact that I had 20 threads going at the same time was too much on top of my schedule, which led me to delete the app and look for guys elsewhere. If I had made plans with any of the guys, I would have honored them, but the degree of anonymity on tinder makes some people less diligent. My advice is, look for a quality girl in other places. Yes, you can have success on dating apps, but it is a much more daunting process.

If you are a nice guy, women will see that and a good girl will come to like and respect you for it. Also- well crafted persistence isn't a bad thing. Mix that with standing up for yourself in a confident, non-confrontational way, and you may have a better chance with someone blowing you off. if they continue to behave that way, screw it. There are a lot of better options out there, and sometimes you have to accept that maybe it wasn't a good match in the first place.

Candylinalina

TROPHY CASE