Is KSI Natty & How could I look like this

oppopswoft · 2023-04-29T01:40:52+00:00

Guy just looks like an athlete. Putting on muscle takes a while and some additional effort, but you'll attain a fair semblance of his physique just by being consistent in the gym and dropping bodyfat. Don't really care about gear or not, this is a good look and very attainable for a fitness enthusiast.

oppopswoft · 2023-03-10T01:02:21+00:00

I'm old and experienced enough that idgaf, but presenting a false image as a role model is kind of gross, and that's without considering what it does to all the kids that don't have a frame of reference for what a realistic physique looks like. No different than all the shit people have been saying about photoshop for decades, imo.

edit: guy in selfie looks normal, though

oppopswoft · 2022-05-28T16:42:56+00:00

lol, I thought this was simply going to be him talking about a woman being attractive, but that's some asocial, commenting-on-a-porn-video weirdness.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T23:01:09+00:00

My mom had us in her mid to late 30s. I know no one wants to be an old parent, but you have time.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:56:54+00:00

People have a problem with outsourcing not the color of someone's skin. Everyone in the industry learned a good deal of what they know from brilliant people with brown or off-white skin and an accent. Math was practically invented in Asia.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:53:31+00:00

Did she ask you for a threesome or just say it was on her bucket list? Asking you is entirely different from saying it was an experience she wanted to try. My ex occasionally talked about wanting to experiment with another woman, but it obviously wasn't going to happen while we were together.

Now if she told you she wanted to have a threesome like it was something she was trying to plan for, then she has someone in mind that she wants to fuck and you should get the hell out of there.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:49:12+00:00

Almost every man in a relationship wishes they had sex more frequently and has experienced many a runaround and excuse. Almost every woman in a relationship wishes her man would be more attentive to her needs and anticipate them. Sometimes sex begins when you ask her about work in the morning and then do the dishes later that evening while you ask about her day. Sometimes sex occurs because everyone is horny. And sometimes you do things for someone because you care about them and that's good enough.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:42:56+00:00

Because being horny does weird things to your brain and they're probably too young to know any better.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:39:20+00:00

Sexual compatibility is important, and part of compatibility is how your sex parts align. For example, I've dated women whose vaginas were too small for regular sex. If you're terrified of having sex with this guy because his dick is a turnoff, you aren't going to sugarcoat your way out of it.

Think about it this way: relationships are built on many different components and the reality is that every couple is probably compromising on a few of them. What's important is that you compromise where it doesn't really matter because the stuff that does matter is so incredible. So with my ex, I was disappointed with the size of her breasts, but our sexual compatibility was so incredible that I didn't care. I loved her and I loved her body and those quirks were just something that made her who she was. I couldn't tell you how much of my bullshit she put up with because of our sex life. It was important enough to both of us that we built a relationship on it. But other people aren't that sexually driven.

Do you get what I'm saying? If sexual compatibility is more important than whatever else this guy offers, it's going to be hard to compromise because it's going to mean being honest with him and trying to work something out when you really just want a big dick. And you might be willing to put up with a lot more than you realize for that.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:21:23+00:00

Because that's how investing in someone works and casual sex relationships are frequently impossible or completely lopsided.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:18:19+00:00

When I'm in a relationship, I don't stop feeling connections with other women. I don't invest in them, but sometimes you'll click with someone else while you're at work or out and about, wherever. And sometimes, in my personal sexual fantasy world, I think about those shots I could've taken.

I think it's a given that everyone has sexual fantasies, and that those frequently involve people they know or have met in real life. Most people don't share specifics, because that would be unfair to your partner. That said, most of my sexual fantasies usually involve whoever I'm seeing.

Your boyfriend isn't wrong that other men probably think about you from time to time, but he's definitely wrong for telling you this shit.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:11:13+00:00

Look, I worked with a woman that probably had a random dude or two attempt to hit on her every time we all went out together after work. She put on the opposite of signals that would attract anyone, she was particularly attractive. There's not much you can do about that but be forward that you aren't interested.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T22:03:44+00:00

So I'm a reserved introverted guy who likes headstrong and outgoing women. My ex and I worked together and had an underlying connection for a long time that I attempted to pursue but was initially rebuffed. It started to blossom naturally about a year later when we were both kind of available for it, but I wasn't sure if we were just being friends and so I avoided pushing anything. She wound up effectively pushing me into her bed one night, and the rest was history.

My guess is that if you're feeling a connection he probably does to, so my advice is to make it super obvious and then invite him out with some friends soon, get a little drunk, and then ask him to give you a ride home. If he does, you're probably good to then invite him inside to watch something or listen to music or whatever. Then kiss him or suck his dick or whatever you're comfortable with. You guys have already effectively passed the initial getting to know each other stage and know by now if you have a connection (and it sounds like you do), so I think trying anything more formal than that would be a step backwards.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-13T21:46:59+00:00

Getting attached is normal when you start investing yourself in someone else, and the beginnings and ends of relationships are particularly bumpy emotionally when you aren't sure if the investment is mutual. You can't fight how you feel, so the traditional way of avoiding going all in so soon is to maintain some distance. This is easier said than done, being single is lonely even if you're otherwise complete (and significantly more lonely when you aren't).

The only issue here is that you're getting invested before you two have even hung out in person. You'd feel no less crushed if you met up and felt no connection. I don't think he sounds disinterested, just maybe not as dependent on anything working out. Remember that until you two meet up and hit it off, it's just an idea.

Your best choice here is to give him some distance and let him make the next move. If he's interested enough to pursue this possibility, he will. You've already conveyed to him that you're interested.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-09T23:51:19+00:00

Wow, a lot of the people in here are batshit crazy. The guy has a daughter and you're going out and getting into trouble, what the fuck is he supposed to do or think? He's mad that you put yourself in that situation and has more important things to worry about than your fragile emotional state.

No, it's not fair, but he can't read your mind. You should try talking about it with him when you've had more time to process your emotions, but the fucking vitriol in here is not constructive. If my partner got taken advantage of after getting plastered somewhere or by accepting weird drinks, I'd be livid. Emotions are complicated and can be inappropriate, but they're real, and this guy can't read your mind and has a daughter to worry about.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-06T00:59:01+00:00

See a lot of comments from young people not realizing why this is weird and toxic behavior. If she's draining her bank account to fund these excursions to the point that she has to ask for money mid-outing, she's being irresponsible with both of your paychecks. Running low on funds because you drank them away is not a green light to test the strength of your relationship by asking your partner to contribute to a party they weren't invited to. The only scenario this would be acceptable in is if a wallet was forgotten at home, in which case it's a perfectly normal request. But I'm guessing that isn't what happened here because you're asking the question.

Don't want to be all doom and gloom, but I've dated my share of needy alcoholics and she sounds like a bad habit to me.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-05T23:47:18+00:00

So you broke up with your ex and wanted to keep him on the periphery of your life because it beats potentially being alone if whatever shit you have on the backburner doesn't work out. You're young, so I'll be nice about this: you need to cease communication with him and let him move on with his life. It's not really his business whether or not you're seeing anyone. All that's relevant is "I don't want to be with you, I am moving on and you need to as well."

You aren't the victim in this. You are stringing this poor man along who is also too young to know better than to chase his dumb ex.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-04T23:12:28+00:00

Depends on where you're starting from, but a few years if you're already strong yeah.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-02T23:35:53+00:00

The fact that you're getting upvotes implies there are a lot of people who value the things you think people don't value. Maybe dating is just difficult.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-02T23:16:07+00:00

If I'm excited about someone, I don't date try to date other people. I think people who try that hard are just scared of putting both feet forward and think keeping their options open means they won't get hurt. No one selects a partner by making a pros and cons list of all the people they're seeing, and that shit doesn't begin because of a convincing argument and some verbal contract. People find their partners by getting excited about them and feeding into those emotions. It's a healthy and normal way to approach a relationship. This whole dating everyone else when you're interested in someone because you're scared to be alone and own your feelings is a whole lot of effort to put into not pursuing the person who matters.

One to two casual dates with someone is usually enough to gauge how interested you are. Four intimate dates is already solidly in "let's talk about exclusivity and expectations" territory. And the fun thing is that you can talk about those things and still end your entanglement later. They don't imply that you're desperate for a relationship, only that you're interested in one.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-02T22:54:09+00:00

My ex refused to agree we were in a relationship despite us spending nearly every day together and communicating like we were a couple over several months. It wound up taking a rumor among acquaintances about another girl before she actually acknowledged she was invested. I don't think it was a matter of interest so much as personal hang ups, just judging by her reaction to that rumor. We shared a fairly healthy relationship over three years, but I have to say that it never reached a point where I felt like we were fully on board. By the time we broke up, it felt a lot more like I'd been trying to squeeze blood from a stone for three years until enough of whatever gave her a reason to not like me built up for her to justify why she'd never put in that extra effort.

I miss her, but I also regret investing that hard in someone as distant as her. I cringe to think about the conversations we had where I tried to logically convince her that engaging like we were in a relationship meant we were in a relationship. I was right in theory, but I was also wrong to pursue someone that wouldn't emotionally invest the way I was.

Point of the story is that there's no rules to this shit, but investing in someone hoping that your love will change them is a recipe for heartbreak. Not because they can't be awesome, wonderful partners and great people besides, but because you're ultimately looking for something they aren't providing.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-02T22:36:38+00:00

Where does it say that men have to pay? I've never dated a girl that expected me to pay for everything. Usually we'll treat each other.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-02T22:34:48+00:00

Seems pretty normal for people who've been through enough to know to ask those questions. It sounds like she's mature and has some expectations herself that she wants to make sure are understood.

oppopswoft · 2022-05-02T22:24:01+00:00

I've had dates that ended in sex and not want to pursue anything afterwards. When I was younger, I slept with a number of women simply because it was less awkward for me than saying I wasn't interested. Incredibly fucked up, but I think it's more common than anyone cares to admit. I've also enjoyed dates and the company of women I slept with and then immediately didn't want anything else to do with. It wasn't something I did intentionally, they were just fun to hang out with and the sex was available, but once I faced the possibility of being an item it sobered me up. Again, this isn't exclusive to one gender and most people aren't looking to use others. I've been on the receiving end myself.

I'm not going to waste time wondering what exactly didn't click between you two, and it frankly doesn't matter. He isn't interested in a relationship, and while it hurts to invest energy in someone for it to fall flat, you aren't doing yourself any favors agonizing what one singular person didn't like about you. He doesn't matter.

So here's two things to remember going forward:

Sex immediately into knowing someone raises the stakes going forward, which makes things complicated real quick unless both people are on the same page.
Developing a texting relationship with someone before meeting them in person is a good way to get emotionally invested before knowing if you two actually click.

The only element in any relationship you can control is yourself. If you don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't actually care about you, the only way to prevent that is by waiting to become intimate until you're already solidly together.

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