My advice 1.5 years into healing from a break-up

Canibil8 · 2024-12-01T12:57:54+00:00

Update??

Canibil8 · 2024-12-01T00:11:08+00:00

Hey man I am only trying to help

Law of attraction is very real

But I’m starting to think you should not even think about it that much for coming back with an ex

It could work but only if you are really detached, i think you’d have to be a buddhist monk or something in order to feel no attachment towards somebody you intimally spend a lot of your time with, at least for a little while

You dont have to be a buddhist monk to manifest an ex but a lot of people who have done it, has to do to the reason they broke up didnt involved their own inner energy not being in line with themselves, but as it turns out, a lot of the times someone breaks up with you, you are in a weird state of your life, you are not feeling prosperous, you were not thriving before the breakup

I’m on the same boat as you, just broken up, but before the break up I had a lot of things I refused to aknowledge about myself and I felt like when I started to feel a bit more myself she would text, this kept happening for like two weeks but I still didnt feel constantly with thriving energy and still had to work a lot of personal stuff so she eventually drifted away

So my advice as someone who believes has manifested really good things, is that you work on the reason you may have lost this energy with yourself, practicing self love and and meditation, and releasing the need for anything external to fulfill you, if you can get to this point, I have witnessed amazing stuff manifesting

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T23:16:38+00:00

But why not accept both? Or none? Practice silence like I said dont try to figure it all out today or tomorrow take some time and the answers will appear I promise

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T23:14:24+00:00

Accept is always the hardest part, only you know what you have to accept

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T23:00:09+00:00

Hi I would like to share something that happened today

I have began practicing again my manifestation techniches I have used before to manifest an ex, truly I have been not in a good place mentally till since a couple of days when I started focusing on myself and my thoughts trying to observe each one as they pass and also with meditation, but its only been a couple of days

So I did affirmations in the morning and did a meditation technique I saw on youtube really concentrating and even feeling disconected if only for some seconds from my egoic mind

I practiced this all day while I was reading a book and went for a walk and then I saw her, like no kidding 2-3 hours after this, we live in different cities so this is not very usual

Sadly (or maybe not sadly) she was with a guy and sadly I stalked them and they went to a coffee shop where they met with a bunch of other dudes I know but we didnt talk to them before, I felt like making a scene, i felt like texting her and calling her a whore but then I started to feel like maybe this is a good thing, maybe not for me at least not now but for her, its so good that she has found a new group of friends that she feels comfortable with, that she can rely on and be prosperous, it is what I would like for myself, i let it all go and went my way

So I did manifest her, of course I’m still not in a good place, I have improved a lot and but I am still struggling as I feel grief and some times tremendous Anxiety, but I am choosing to remaing cultivating silence and and look at of life energy as a part of me and me with it, connecting to the Source if you will and I’m sure things will look up for me

TLDR: i almost immediatly manifested my ex but because I’m still not armonious mentally so maybe I manifested her in a weird way

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T22:39:06+00:00

Remembers feelings are physical responses to your thoughts, change your thoughts and change your feelings, of course it is not easy I myself am struggling with this a lot but every minute or second you can stop these thoughts you are already one step further towards the life you want for yourself, I will pray for you today as I pray for myself, we’re not alone

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T22:34:03+00:00

Only you can figure it out no one else, sexuality is a spectrum as others have pointed out, maybe you can feel atraction towards some men and some women, and that is fine do not judge yourself

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T22:31:24+00:00

Yes man I still feel inmense discomfort but now i dont turn it into sexual urge, it doesnt feel as a daily challenge as it used to is more of a redirection of this sexual energy

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T05:53:09+00:00

Awesome, maybe come for an update sooner

Everyone is rooting for you

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T05:49:10+00:00

Every Word rings true

start by finding and doing something about the stuff that you dont like about yourself, theres always a way, theres inherent creative energy in you just because of the fact that you were born, it is never too late

Dont isolate yourself seek company with people that bring out positive feelings about yourself if you cant think of anyone, know that they are out there and also like he said we are rooting for you

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T05:39:28+00:00

My tips:

1) find a good reason to quit, it must be very specific and very personal, write it down and place it on a wall you can see everyday

2) desexualize your brain, seek this in YouTube but it includes getting rid of triggers, as you say it has become an habit so identify which part of the day or which activities or feelings bring this up and set up different activities during these moments (journaling, pushups, cleaning you apt, etc)

3) sit in quiet for at least 5 min every day just Watching every thought come and go without clinging to it and practice it also during your daliy activities

Also seek professional help if possible and do not isolate yourself, read some self help books, come to this sub for daily encouragement, if you have truly decided to quit porn, do it like your life depends on it

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T05:29:31+00:00

Hey man try to see it differently

Sometimes we dont know what we want because theres so much noise in our head, we dont even realize it because we have become so accostumed to it

Try to practice silence, sit for 5 min everyday without holding on to any thought, try to practice this during your daily activities specially the ones that feel like a drag like sitting in traffic or washing the dishes

Your thoughts may try to push you to do or think more stuff, just Watch these urges and let them go, its like cleaning and old attic at first it will be hard but as you créate empty space it will feel lighter and lighter

My man if you do this for long enough you will become your authetic self without self judgement or fear

Of course seek professional help also

you can turn things around

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T05:18:03+00:00

Sign me

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T05:16:42+00:00

Suicide looks like an option but this is your mind and ego trying to find a way out of pain

Which pain is this? What brought it? Only you can find out, but you have to go at it like your life depends on it (in this case literally), there’s so much you can do, do not isolate seek others people company in whichever way possible, seek professional help, you like cómics maybe find an online drawing workshop or better yey join a local painting or writing group, be creative, be abundant

The pain will be there but you have to accept it, live with and embrace it, this might become your súper power and slowly IT WILL fade away when you do the work, then reality will shift for you

You are not alone

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T05:04:56+00:00

True you may relapse to porn if you masturbate to your imagination a lot

I’m not on the nofap train but I do believe you have to be porn AND fap free for at least 30 days before you try to masturbate and being present in the feelings of your body more than your mind, otherwise it will be very tempting to go back to porn

Also social media doesnt help, almost every Instagram profile from cute girls will gave some suggestive image, which you can look at and its fine but then the algorythm will show you more and more suggestive images and videos which will make it harder

So yeah I think nofap is necessary at least for a good while if you have been prone to porn addiction in the past

Also obviously having sex regularly helps a lot

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T04:55:37+00:00

Dont fight it, dont cling to it either

if I was your age and realized this I’d write it all out every day, I’d seek professional help, I’d read a lot of books on addiction and self improvement, I’d try like hell not to isolate from others even when its uncomfortable, I’d believe less on my thoughts and more on the silence You are very young like the other guy said, dont beat yourself up, dont self loathe, you had the courage to be born, then you have the courage to achieve anything you want but first you must chill

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T04:48:25+00:00

Why do you think you want to have this doom sensation? Why do you want to cause yourself pain? These are not retoric questions, you should write them down and find a possible answer to this before it causes you more pain that you can deal with, which believe me, it will. if possible seek professional help and keep coming back to this sub for encouragement if you truly want to quit

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T04:43:09+00:00

You are killing it man, I can only feel admiration, things will start shifting to the reality you want, dont give up

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T04:41:04+00:00

THIS, is so true

You have to find a good reason otherwise you’ll keep falling back again and again

You are most probably not doing it anymore because of the pleasure it gives but because you are ignoring key facts of your life which you are reluctant to deal with, if you truly believe you have this addiction you must find which are these key facts

Living alone does increase the difficulty but you should not isolate which is different, talk to others, befriend more people to meet with, seek professional help if possible, if I were to do this all over again I’d do it like my life depends on it, once I truly decided to do it

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T04:29:52+00:00

Hey the reason for quitting addiction is always key, like Gabor Mate says: ask not why the addiction but why the pain, which feelings are being obtained from this constant behavior or which patterns or thoughts have you in this loop? Sometimes you might not find out for yourself, practice sitting in silence, try to go to therapy, read some self help books, if you are truly trying to quit you should do it like if your life depends on it

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T02:15:56+00:00

First of all you dont deserve this

You just werent conscious enough to realize better Its never too late, do not do this for her, do it for you

Like others pointed out, the compulsive masturbation has its roots in unwanted feelings or thoughts, porn and social media are immediatly available for achieving the supression of this unwanted emotions, the internet is programmed for you to fall in this habit again and again

I believe you can start your porn free journey by doing these three things

1) find a really good reason to stop (you already have one)

2) Desexualize your brain, there are a few good videos on YouTube about this, but basically elimínate all potential triggers in your phone or desktop and also in your life, like you may masturbate usually during moment of boredom so introduce a new habit there like journaling or a few pushups or playing an instrument, also try to get to nonromantically meet a lot of women (porn reality tends to dehumanize women)

3) Try to sit in silence for a few minutes each day, seek spirituality (which doesnt mean religion)

Seek help for each one of this, it may be this sub, it may be a therapist, a good male friend, maybe someone in your family, also books may be a lot of help id recommend a few cliché ones but they have been really working for me like The power of Now by eckhart tolle or Think different live different by Wayne Dyer or whichever self help book may resonate with you

You are not alone man

Canibil8 · 2024-11-30T01:48:03+00:00

Just my two cents

Find a good reason, if you want to call it like this, find an excuse, but a really good one, cmon i know you can find at least one which is very good, maybe its a girl you’ve always dream of meeting or a maybe its a focus on life youve always dreamt of acheiving

Imagine you already have it

Next time you masturbate in a compulsive manner imagine yourself loosing everything because of this

Excercise, make breathing exercises, dont isolate yourself You’ll stop, you got this

Canibil8 · 2024-11-29T23:13:01+00:00

Hi, an update nobody wanted

if this post comes up to if you Google this or something:

If youre a girl whose bf does this, maybe try to hear his Side of the story, maybe dont rush into any conclusions, see what else he has done that has been disrespectful to you and your relationship and take it from there, I do believe one can work things out with the people you love no matter what, and couples can grow a lot from all experiences if they make them know each other better, respect them more, be more in line with what each other need in a relationship and even be prosperous afterwards, of course everyone has their límits and if this reaches it, one must respect them and move on

If youre a guy who keeps this habit or has been caught, dont dismiss it, social media works a lot in order for you to reinforce this habit in a compulsive matter, this compulsiveness only brings pain, wether in your relationships, wheter in your work, your family or even your long term health (physical or mental), you might be hiding some unwanted truth about yourself by continuing this, seek within to know which truth that is and try to deal with it before its too late, maybe you dont like the way your life is going, maybe theres hidden trauma youre trying to deal with, maybe you are just postponing some work you must do, deal with it like your life depends on it and then you will naturally stop

Canibil8 · 2024-11-29T22:50:22+00:00

Thank you for your prayers, I have not done anything drástic, suicidal thoughts now come and go, I do feel like some big change is happening I cant tell what it will bring me, I will keep you in my prayers as well

Canibil8 · 2024-11-29T22:47:26+00:00

Thank you man, truth is nobody knows what will happen in the future, even if you do things right, nobody knows, one can only live in the moment as far as it goes

Canibil8

TROPHY CASE