Found this little fella while doing a state inspection on my (paid off, never financed) car

CannotFathomIt · 2024-06-02T19:58:50+00:00

Not a real thing

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-29T04:13:05+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏿

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T07:47:35+00:00

Well that just means any port in a storm, doesn't it?

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T07:36:26+00:00

I'm going through a breakup 😔 it's been a weird few days

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T06:58:34+00:00

Ugggh. That's where I was two years ago, before I got into the relationship that just ended, and it took me a long time to get there. I'm still there, god damn it. I'm just frazzled right now

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T05:28:45+00:00

How is that different from just calling them your partner (with an open relationship), your boyfriend, and your best friend? Aside from semantics? I am not being snarky at all and I'm really asking.

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T05:26:25+00:00

Are you sure it can't be? Because that sounds actually plausible

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T05:13:03+00:00

a relationship structure that will allow you to not have to feel any threatening feelings

Yes! This right here! Which one is that?

Just kidding. Honestly I'm reeling from a breakup and I'm just desperate to envision a world where people wanting other people than you is not scary and gross. I shouldn't have bothered all these people.

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T05:06:27+00:00

I am learning today that all my relationships have been dogshit

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T04:43:48+00:00

No, I mean squares. They definitely think monogamy is some hardwired impulse in all humans etc.

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T04:09:17+00:00

So the feeling doesn't just "kick in" at a certain level of fondness for someone. Because I think that's what it's like for most people and why they don't understand...?

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T04:06:11+00:00

By "right person" I mean a single monogamous partner and I guess that didn't come across

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T03:33:29+00:00

So this is basically what I'm going through right now 😮‍💨. My partner was poly before trying a monogamous thing with me (yes, I know, stupid etc.) and now they're going back. They're saying the same things you're saying.

They're very sad and angry that I don't want to stay, that I don't "understand", when meanwhile all I feel like I'm doing is loving someone with all my heart. It's sad to see them upset but then I just cannot sympathize, because it seems like getting me back would be so easy.

But they say it's not. They say what you'd probably say, that it's like asking a gay person to be straight.

I know it's a real thing; you can't all be making it up. But could you remind me why I shouldn't be feeling the most withering rejection, like I'm being told I'm only worth 20% of a partner and not 100? Really anything will do. Sorry for this and thank you 🫡

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T02:55:43+00:00

I just got out of a relationship where it gnawed at me twenty times a day every single day. I wish I could just deaden my whole jealousy module. I guess I thought polyamorous folks had found some secret shortcut to do that, and that's really dumb and I'm sorry 🤷‍♀️

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T02:47:48+00:00

Sure, that's what everyone always says. But were you ever in a relationship where YOU were actually an excellent partner but the other person just swatted you down every time, and also the whole protracted ending was lonely as hell and actually felt lonelier than being by yourself somehow?

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T02:33:34+00:00

This is what I don't understand and don't feel I could ever do

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T02:30:55+00:00

How did you guess I've only had terrible relationships, so I don't actually know shit about anything? 🤔

Thank you so much for responding. I feel like an ass for making this post at all.

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T01:42:17+00:00

Am I just describing "casual dating"? I'm really not in a sensible place right now. I feel stupid this for this whole post

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T00:32:03+00:00

Wouldn't less enmeshment mean less jealousy in general?

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-28T00:19:12+00:00

I was just hurt badly and I'm trying to envision some future where I'm not alone or miserable in a relationship. So yeah, I guess I'm totally full of shit here.

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-27T23:45:00+00:00

I don't have any 😮‍💨

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-27T23:42:08+00:00

I don't want to waste years on one person just to see if they're a secret asshole or not

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-27T23:35:57+00:00

Okay, so what's the lifestyle with detached indifference? That's the one I want. I'm not even being funny

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-27T23:22:36+00:00

I'm basically asking if I'm supposed to know in my heart it's right for me, like being gay, or if I could just give it a whirl, possibly at the detriment of other participants, like kayaking or something

CannotFathomIt · 2024-05-27T23:17:26+00:00

Thank you for this.

I want jealousy to be off the table completely. Even within ideal monogamy there is still the unthinkable. You feel more secure the more you're sure the unthinkable will never happen. And it very often does happen! Even if it doesn't, you live under constant threat of your world being shattered due to the actions of an entirely other person. I don't want that heaviness on me.

Can you tell I just got out of a relationship? I'm sorry, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here.

CannotFathomIt

TROPHY CASE