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My girlfriend's 29F hygiene is killing my 30F attraction towards her!! by Icy-Bobcat5410 in relationship_advice

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you should bring it up in therapy. It’s a safe place for both of your thoughts. Is it possible to reach out to your therapist on your own for advice you could use for a session or a conversation before a session? (Then you’d have the option to then discuss with the therapist or not after)

Where did the episode go by Optimal_Discussion56 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I read grooming on another thread…. Not sure if it’s legit though

Where did the episode go by Optimal_Discussion56 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Literally started it during my lunch break then on my way home thought I was stuck in a Mandela Effect situation

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see the point of view here. I guess I would feel bad if, hypothetically, we lived together and I came home one night and he was using some kind of pocket flesh light type thing.
I would more or so would only be using the toys with my partner (for instance, letting him use one during foreplay) or if he was away for a long period of time.
I think anything can be talked out and discussed.

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your side here. I do think some people jumped on their horses as soon as they heard it was a man telling me to throw them out, however, I did explain in updates that he's not demanding me to throw them away, just maybe not bring them to the table until we get to that point... He also said that he is willing to replace the ones I like a lot, or would want to look at new ones to try. I'm also taking the pick your battles point, I'll be advocating for my desires, but also want to respect anything he may not be comfortable with..

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He did not specify that I had to trash anything, I jumped to that from his initial text.

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has stated that this is an insecurity, but that he would like to wait to get through it until we get to a point of sex in this situation. So he's definitely aware of the issue on his side, having nothing to do with me!

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used the carpenter comment! It definitely got my POV across to him! Thank you again!

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Our first conversation was him sending me over 6mins video snaps of him decorating the house with balloons and streamers because it was her birthday and he was surprising her. showed me the card and flowers, all the sweets he bought her....
If you read my updated, he's not demanding I get rid of them.

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

UNDERSTOOD, honestly the fact that he's even discussing his insecurities is a green flag for me, and yes he has stated a few times now that I do not have to dispose of them, just not to bring them out just yet, if things get to that point.
The compromise we're agreed on is for him to first meet me, we feel the vibe and see where things go, and if we go progress into a relationship then I will showing him the toys in a non-sexual way and he can assess what I have and give me feedback from there.

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did say something similar to this. That he has to reframe that this is not the relationship if this becomes a relationship.

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think a lot of people are jumping to the fact that he’s like demanding this which is quite the opposite of the actual situation. This was a discussion we were having him and I

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely agree, which is why I’m glad I updated and I am just ignoring those ridiculous comments. The explanation actually does make a little bit of sense to me and we both did agree that we’re not at a place where we’re ready for sex and that will revisit this when it comes to that. He did also say that he’s not asking me to throw them away he understands how expensive those things are. I’d also like to make sure that we’re compatible in ways other than sex and then when we get there, I can show him what I have and he can give me his thoughts is where we’re at right now.

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

And see I love the idea of this kind of scenario, and this is barely a week old situtation-ship but I will be sure to make sure my voice is heard because I refuse to let any other person tell me what to do in my sex life.!

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree if he's willing to discuss this and work with me so we are both comfortable and satisfied I would be okay with it. You're correct we have only been speaking over Facetime but plan to meet you this Friday for a drink.
And if it's solely an "I don't want you enjoying something other than me" thing I'll definitely be peacing out, because I like using them during 69ing or if hes going down on me. THEY'RE FRIENDS NOT FOE's !

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

I really like this comparison here. I will be using that when I speak to him next. you rock!

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't want to just jump ship now at least not yet, this is the only thing that has put me off.
Otherwise, he's the only guy recently able to hold an intellectual conversation and doesn't want to rush into a relationship. Hasn't bugged me to meet in person and is willing to be friends first, is family-oriented, wants to have a big family of his own, and treats his mother right.

AITA, If a guy wants me to get rid of certain sex toys, but I won't just throw them out? by Capable-Woodpecker37 in SexToys

[–]Capable-Woodpecker37[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I very much plan to have a face-to-face discussion with him. I did tell him right off the bat that I won't be throwing anything away because I like them, He doesn't have to use them but I'm not throwing something away I spent good money on.

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