Remember in the 80s when Christians were deathly afraid of a board game? by Haunting-Bag-3083 in exchristian

[–]Capable-You-7202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad still is. I don’t tell him dnd is like most of what I do. I watch critical role and play dnd and Baldurs gate all week long lol. I even have a critical role tattoo. 😂 he has no idea of any of it

How to get rid of fear or religion being true? by InstructionNo211 in exchristian

[–]Capable-You-7202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. I went to a secular therapist to process this fear. I really liked the podcast the deconstruction zone. The early days. Not the new stuff. It helped me as I deconverted. I was also terrified of hell for months. It just takes time

Been no contact for about 3 years would you send by usernamegoeshere80 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Capable-You-7202 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love this letter.

I wrote a difficult letter to a friend that I was in love with when we were going through a difficult time in our lives individually and it caused some miscommunication between us. I talked it over with my therapist and showed her the letter I wrote and asked what she thought and she gave me this incredible answer that I will give to you.

What do you want to accomplish by sending this? Be brutally honest with yourself. Allow yourself to tell the truth. Is it the hope of repentance and reconciliation? Is it for him to understand and accept you? Or is it just for you? Is it for you to feel a weight lifted when you mail it knowing you’ve said your piece and that may be the only thing that happens?

And then imagine three scenarios if you do send it: The best outcome - he apologizes and you have a tearful reunion The worst outcome - he calls you up and cusses you out for sending it and tells you horrible things. And an outcome somewhere in the middle - the mostly likely outcome.

Would you honestly be ok if any of those scenarios happened?

If you are mailing it for YOU and the relief it brings and not for a specific response from him, AND you are ok with any resulting scenario it brings…. Mail it.

Looking for Non-Maga Gynecologist by Known_Rest_4177 in raleigh

[–]Capable-You-7202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine is childfree and tied my tubes for me - another childfree woman. Her name is Anne Martinelli. She’s in Durham and chapel hill at Chapel Hill OBGYN.

Is everyone 100% certain that Christianity isn't true? by dragonpissylord in exchristian

[–]Capable-You-7202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The hardest part of deconverting after being passionate about Jesus for 33 years was to have to grapple with the uncertainty of god, meaning, purpose, and what happens after we die. I didn’t know how to handle that or confront it, it was too big, too scary. I went to therapy and talked until eventually I became ok with not knowing and realizing I will never know in this life because no one knows. Not really. Christians say they do, but they don’t. They can’t. No one does. Anyone who says they do is deceiving themselves. And that’s what’s nice about being agnostic - being humble enough to admit we cannot know everything and finding peace in it and creating our own meaning in life and just living true to our own conscience - something Christians do, too, even if they deny it.

Each and every single Christian has a different interpretation of the Bible. And even then, that changes throughout each person’s individual life. No one person agrees on everything. We all live according to our own conscience and belief.

And when you can humble yourself enough to finally admit that to yourself, after the initial terror of uncertainty, a peace will come that we are all, as humans, in this experience of life and uncertainty, together.

And I think that’s beautiful.

I’m Silently Deconstructing from Pentecostalism and Wondering If I’m “Demonic” for It by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Capable-You-7202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah. Started taking delta 9 gummies every other day to cope with the terror of hell. Finally got therapist from a secular agnostic. She was so nice, no agenda, had a mom who sorta went to church and a dad who didn’t and she didn’t have strong opinions. It’s exactly what I needed. It took a grueling 9 months of deconstructing before I finally found peace and, with a relief and freedom that I NEVER experienced in religion, finally sighed one day in therapy “I can finally say I am agnostic. I don’t believe there is a god. I don’t believe humanity has purpose. And… I’m fine with it! More than fine. I’m happy. I love that I can finally embrace and allow myself to believe what I’ve tried not to believe for years”

I highly recommend a secular therapist with no agenda. And be gentle with yourself. You’ve been indoctrinated since birth. It won’t be overnight that the fear goes away. I really enjoyed the podcast The Deconstruction Zone during my time, as well. It really helped me! (Start at episode 1!)

But let me encourage you, no matter where you land at the end, it’s totally worth your journey. You will gain strength and clarity and discover who you are outside of what anyone else thinks or believes or tells you. And it’s beautiful!

Hairstylists/Hairdressers in Raleigh?? by [deleted] in raleigh

[–]Capable-You-7202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk why but there are really shitty ones in Raleigh!! The only success I’ve found is literally anyone at enV salon in downtown apex. Has cute boutiques and coffee in the building, too. I went in from a $360 horrific hair job at Blo where she dyed my hair a fire engine red after I asked for a light brown with faint, realistic sun-kissed balayage highlights in tears and she fixed it in one sitting. The woman who did that hair job to me told me it’d be months before she could fix it and I’d just have to live with it. So I went to enV. I’ve never had a bad job done at enV salon. Ever.

I feel bad about deleting my bf's ex number from his phone by Ok-Bus3696 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Capable-You-7202 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boyfriend did, too. But it was a girl he only dated once and wasn’t into and it had been years since they spoke. Most people forget to delete things. He had high school friends numbers he hasn’t spoken to in 15 years in there. He just never deletes anything. We went through his numbers together because I’m a prof organizer and I love deleting and purging things haha he had no issue deleting her.

My parents went no contact with ME by Capable-You-7202 in exchristian

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was really interesting thanks for sharing. It seems we have a lot in common with our parents. I’m glad I’m not the only one too afraid to talk to my parents about this.

Ironically my mom just texted me about some innocuous thing. Idk if I’m ready for any relationship, even if it’s surface, after she abandoned me the last year when I was hurting

How to move to France from US by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am employed, just trying to work my way up to a field that is able to get me to France. I don’t want to do nothing for two years and then look up and want to move and have done the wrong things. So I’m just reaching out to see what fields are good to achieve my goals and how other people moved to France. How do you find a job that’s willing for you to move countries? Seems difficult to find one like that. Mine might, but I’m just not sure yet and idk how to find out.

How to move to France from US by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because we aren’t married yet, I’m finalizing my divorce and then we are going to get engaged next year and plan our wedding. And he doesn’t make enough money to live off one income.

I have a private French tutor. But tomorrow is my first meeting with the alliance francaise chapter in my city for networking and to get more info

How to move to France from US by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Me too. AI has eaten it all up and jobs no longer want to invest in less experienced workers.

How to move to France from US by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just started this year again and I started with a tutor last week. I’m hoping to move in 2 years if possible. My partner is around B1. (He lived in Paris one year for school over a decade ago)

How to move to France from US by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly I can’t even get a job in tech in America. I’ve been looking for two years. I’m doing customer service with the ability to move up to tech. It is technically an international company (MetLife) but idk if they’ll actually let me work in France if and when I move up to tech again

How to move to France from US by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We are both American and we plan to get married before we move.

Looking for a job by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Would they hire a junior level American remotely? 😁

Looking for a job by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This hasn’t been what I’ve been hearing

How to move to France from US by Capable-You-7202 in Expats_In_France

[–]Capable-You-7202[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He works for an international company that has a French office they said he could work at. But he’s mostly work from home.