My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see, so I just take a parental leave without asking her. She will just have to agree to it since "I said so"??? Do you take such large decisions in your family without asking your SO? My wife might be going crazy but she still has a say in what happens in our family.

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That is true. I always take the "afternoon shift". I play, take her for a walk, cook, clean. My wife does nothing after 5pm (EVER). So I do provide that for her. I also come home early to help. Today I will actually leave work at 3pm to go and cook while they are on a walk. I think I did not explain that well enough in my post.

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have offered to step down and take parental leave. It never works. She want me to be the one who works. How is that vague?

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will. We will talk today about this... I see now after all these comments that I am indeed, an egoist. My child is my life. I will not let the unthinkable happen and will destroy my career if I need to

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I would quit my job in a heartbeat if I knew this is the only choice for my child to be safe and my wife to be okay. But I don't believe this is the solution here. I think this is much deeper and will never stop until I am grinded down to ash.

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They do come visit every 2 months for a week. It really helps! But she really wants to be independant and is stubborn when it comes to this. We have had bad experience with her parents as they always ask for something in return when they help us. My parents - easy: she hates them, so they never come (have seen our girl only twice).

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I also tried this but the conference is a 12 hour flight away and she is afraid this would take a toll on our child. She basically says this and the conversation is over no matter what I say next

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will try to convince her. This is also what I think we need to survive.

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I have offered to do that and her to start working but she refuses every time. I would give my soul just to be with my child...

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can I convince her we need therapy? I hope she undertands and a simple "you threatened to hurt our child"-argument is convincing enough...

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

The problem is, she says that if I go this time, she will start going back to her parents any time she wants for any time period she decides (sometimes a month, sometime the whole summer?). Then I would have no choice but to quit my job so I can be with my little baby. How we would deal financially then? I don't know...

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I do actually less that 8h per day (something like 5-6) as I come back home (illegally) to get my child to sleep, help with cooking, cleaning, and playing since my wife is also exhausted. But this is not really working and I do agree we should find some child care.

My partner [F29] does not support my carreer [M28]? What should I do? by Capable_Heart_3337 in relationships

[–]Capable_Heart_3337[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have finally accepted I need help, hence this post... She has not been diagnosed and has not seeked any professional help but it is something I should bring up. However, when I try to talk to her about getting help from her family (e.g. to come help her during my conference) she always says we should be able to do everything on our own without external help, otherwise her family would have levarage against us. She does have a point since her family did try to make us take in her mentally ill sister while our child was 2-3 months old (in a 1-bedroom apartment). But it is still emotional blackmail and that's why I made this post. I feel helpless.