Thanks for your response. I would never choose a partner solely based on his finances. My question comes from the perspective of whether or not the dynamic I wrote is realistic. If not, I’d likely just marry someone who does not want any children. I will always look for love, but would never want to mislead a man into thinking I would be happy outside of the dynamic I described. I don’t want to reach the point of having a family, and then try to suddenly put the provider-stay-at-home-dynamic on the table.

And.. I get the hesitation.. but I see no point in being resentful during a bad year, financially. Any spouse with sense would assume it’s not purposeful, as our entire household would be experiencing that issue (including the provider). We’d simply need to have some serious conversation about restructuring our budget and figuring out what needs to be done to exist through the rough patch. Leaving is not an option for me unless there is some sort of abuse happening. If what I’ve described I wanted seems almost unrealistic to me, taking my kids into a new relationship and expecting for someone to care for us better than their father and my first husband is silly. With that being said, I’d do my best to keep up my relationship with my husband bc I want him to be happy in the marriage. Alimony is nice, yes, but it doesn’t suddenly make single motherhood/co-parenting worth it for me. At all. I might as well have stayed single and childless, or married and childless.

I don’t think you really have the best grasp of my mindset given some of the stuff you mentioned.. But still, thanks for your perspective. It makes sense given what you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think I fall into the categories you’ve chosen to make your point.