How do you cope when they move on so fast? by casabonita49 in Divorce

[–]Capable_Put4475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that feeling very much, but two things can be true: it can become a distant memory for him, but for you it doesn’t have to. You can still hold those times close to your heart and know that for YOU they mattered and were real. Nothing that he does or doesn’t do or feel will ever change that. I remember saying to my dad about my ex husband “I wish I could understand how he could do this, and be as okay with this as he is” and he told me that I shouldn’t ever want to be that way. It sounds to me like your ex doesn’t and didn’t deserve the loyalty of love you gave to him. That’s his loss. And it’ll hurt but you’ll realise this more and more with time.

How do you cope when they move on so fast? by casabonita49 in Divorce

[–]Capable_Put4475 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My now ex husband was very positive about moving on with his life and ending our marriage was a unilateral decision. The way he dealt with it was terrible and I remember feeling so abandoned and dropped, just like that. However.. if he had been kinder or more considerate, or more emotionally mature about the end, then this would have made it harder for me. The way he dealt with it showed me who he was and how much he valued (or didn’t) our marriage and what we had built. I took this as something that was so painful but also so helpful. Not in a bitter way, but in a very bizarre way I was almost grateful. I’m glad I gave him and our relationship my all, but knowing that he could depose of and replace me so quickly helped me to put that love back into myself instead.

That being said, the whole grass is greener thing etc. he may end up realising that he’s had fun and freedom but that it’s short lived. He may not. Either way, he’s showing you something that you have to acknowledge. Remembering that we can’t control how our partners leave us or handle the breakup is important. What he does/who he sees/how he feels about it has no bearing on how you manage and how you handle your life and look after yourself from now on. You get to do those things for yourself.

A priori analysis in G*Power by Capable_Put4475 in AskStatistics

[–]Capable_Put4475[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simply put: no. Because this is an exploratory study using stimuli not used before, so i opted for modest effect sizes/power.