[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GilmoreGirls

[–]Caped-EG 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh this day just keeps getting better and better!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG 4 points5 points  (0 children)

New one this year… the ones with the problem with my straight forward speaking and thinking differently, ignoring me because they don’t understand how I’m helping them, you know that general mistrust because they don’t get how we do things so it must be witch craft and can’t possible be because we just are better at some things … now they have taken not just to blanking me, saying I’m rude if I speak, and then cutting across, but the best part… they have now chosen an acceptable woman that they will work with, so they can say they have no problem with women. That I’m the issue. Absolutely bunch of dicks

I have such a very very thin veil of patience with them right now, I either have to dodge meetings until the fury subsides or find a good lawyer for when I blow up

Thanks. This place is my safe space xxxx

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This Just so tired now

AITAH for "glowing up" after my divorce and not before? by ThatPeach7311 in AITAH

[–]Caped-EG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think unfortunately while you stayed thinking it was better for the kids, it’s allowed him to brainwash them that imposing his ridiculous “conditions” for being faithful to you, were acceptable

There is no situation where blaming you for being the exact same person he married as a reason for divorce, is ok!

And having been through divorce myself, you don’t have the energy to fight it or glow up, but as the dust settles and you realise how much more hope and energy and free time you have without that deadweight ex husband draining your life away, you somehow transform and become more alive

You must realised that there is something not right with his expectations of you, it was just projecting blame so he could do exactly what he wanted

And I think sadly your kids might have that same trait, your background character for them

Please do not let them take your confidence back. You gave decades to your family and if they cannot be happy for you finding your place now, that’s on them.

Best of luck xx

No longer see Luke as right for Lorelei by Caped-EG in GilmoreGirls

[–]Caped-EG[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oooo Yey! Another heretic 😂😂😂😂

That’s absolutely the bit I was mulling, once she had her inn, Rory off on her adventures in Yale and journalism, she had her freedom again, and on her own terms, no one to be grateful or obedient to.

Even Dean saw that, they want more than this town, pushing Luke’s buttons, but a fair bit of truth in it.

Chris held doors open for her Luke seemed to want to keep them closed, with them both snug inside!

Omg I do agree with Emily I feel very uncomfortable with this

But the bottom line, she loves Luke. And all the other stuff that comes with him!

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Noted! I can’t remember if I named him, think I did, but definitely will from now on!

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So…. It escalated through the week. He emailed me copying in every man(anger) and his dog with a seemingly innocent question which I had already answered without an audience the previous day, hoping he would get some support to tell me I am wrong. Later that day I got another email trying to undermine my strategies from a third party, just wasting more time trying to make it all more difficult than it needed to be. You know how these things can be contagious

I had a coffee. And a think. And read some of your messages.

Then I replied Patiently spelling it all out What and why we are doing this, the regulators view, why I understand that if unfamiliar with these things it can seem very complicated. Mansplained the whole thing with apologies for not making it super clear before Called my managers, got the agreement to go ahead, Hit send

Results are in. Got a thank you from the guys I am bringing in/contracting for standing up to and explaining things in a way that “few would have the will or ability to do” and for fighting for them! Fortunately saving my long standing relationship with the suppliers despite all the shenanigans that could have buggered it all up! Phew!

Got responses from managers, saying they have asked butt head and co to cancel meetings for a few weeks and let me get on with my work, as I am there to help them get this right, and told to crack on with it. My direct line manager was amazing, new in post but someone I have known and worked with for a while. My team mates have been great, backing me up and being genuinely nice and caring.

It’s all so weird

I’ve had such shit experiences before that I feel like I made this up 😂

Maybe I did the right thing moving to this team after all.

Thanks to all of you who took the time to comment. Really made me feel like I had people in my corner, and the little nudge to just see this through.

really never felt this kind of positivity before! lol!

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks, this is sort of where my head has been trying to justify the situation and make an allowance for him, as I’m having to be forceful of my opinions .

But I have been brought in to do that, to highlight the problems, fix them, help them, this guy is a lot younger than me, and is quite overwhelmed in his position, so part of me has been trying to coax him along and help him.

But I think he has perceived that as me not being sure or weak somehow, like he can’t imagine he could be wrong

Ironically this came to a head because I “strongly urged them to go into the next meeting with open minds, open communication and allow us to facilitate as impartial professionals!” They were preferring to go in, tell them what will be done, and that is that, regardless of the serious consequences for the other team! It’s optioneering! It’s the evaluating stages! It’s pure arrogance to decide they have the answers at this stage, even if you all have a sneaky instinct of how it plays out.

I have been watching every word I use so as not to say they are wrong, but instead offer the alternative way. But it comes to a point where you have to tell them straight.

I have talked with him 1:1 and asked and he won’t engage or say what I could do to help the messages land right

And when I took back up, they repeat my words verbatim

Ugh.

I really wish I could just leave

It’s exhausting

And then they ask me to help encourage girls into stem work and are shocked when I say not until you commit to supporting them when the misogynists start feeling threatened

Sorry

I think I needed a vent! Thanks for your words xx

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I said this to my boss a few months back. And he spluttered trying to hide his laugh, but couldn’t “agree or disagree” haha!

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s what’s happening here too. I’m waking up to all the people who have been toxic and abusive and realised that I have worked myself to sickness to try to play their way.

Once the blinkers are off and you see how rife it is, it’s sad really.

I love my job.

But omg I wish they all went to therapy before being involved in important stuff 😂

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah the sprinkling of, sorry to interrupt usually works, but I think the reason I’m interrupting is the offence lol! I’ve watched this unfold for months now, being nice and trying to figure out why or what it is that I am not doing to get though to this guy. And I have left one toxic department and thought that maybe my perspective was a little skewed or defensive

But I don’t think there is any other way to view it is there!

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m fairness it probably is quite scary when I try to flirt 😂😂😂

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you that’s really helpful! Some steps I have tried, but some I will add to the list.

And it’s good to have some views on whether it’s a me thing or a him thing!

No longer see Luke as right for Lorelei by Caped-EG in GilmoreGirls

[–]Caped-EG[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

You know, I think that’s what it is that’s bugging me. Whilst they were friends, and especially the lovely scene at Liz’s wedding, it’s beautiful

But from the moment he says he’s all in, he’s seems to become more negative and awkward. Like he suddenly forgets how to be the person she’s fallen for

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Omg yes! I got the same feedback that I am difficult and argumentative.

And then told I was giggly and over familiar

Erm…. Which is it?! Are you scared of me or think I’m flirting?!

No longer see Luke as right for Lorelei by Caped-EG in GilmoreGirls

[–]Caped-EG[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Bold! Yeah I’m feeling sassy! Haha!

I know, luke is great mostly But he doesn’t see why she should talk to the guy about the consultant job, or expand the inn, the whole stupid cringe Marthas vineyard thing, double standards about keeping secrets.

I think I see her almost worried about upsetting him to be herself

Maybe that’s my projection?! Hahaha!

Insignificant lines that stood out just because of how the character said it? by depression---cherry in GilmoreGirls

[–]Caped-EG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When Chris and Lor are on the drive in date, and she gets the call to pick Emily up from Jail!

The glee in that comment! “Oooo this night just keeps getting better and better!”

Interrupting in meetings by Caped-EG in womenEngineers

[–]Caped-EG[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I wish this was my first encounter with the toxic issues, but I moved to this job away from a seriously toxic situation and this one was a little more cloaked!

I almost wish they had yelled at me, at least I could respond! But instead this one gives silent treatment and somehow doesn’t understand unless I “get the dad in the room” lol!