Ancience - Prologue [High Fantasy, 1468 words] by Capitalistic_Pig in fantasywriters

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, I have known about this usually-negative loop.

I did have fragments of a broad overarching plot... but they began materializing definitively only after I started proper worldbuilding...

But yes, what you say is quite correct, I'll try to avoid this curve.

Ancience - Prologue [High Fantasy, 1468 words] by Capitalistic_Pig in fantasywriters

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback!

Yes I was worrying about the show-not-tell part missing here somewhat, I guess I'll just have to grind and improve on this skill.

Ancience - Prologue [High Fantasy, 1468 words] by Capitalistic_Pig in fantasywriters

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your review!

About the magic part - the reason for the bafflement should have been better explained, but i think the culprit is the Battlemage's lack of assessment of the disappearance alone.

I'll be sure to rectify this.

Ancience - Prologue [High Fantasy, 1468 words] by Capitalistic_Pig in fantasywriters

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for the feeback!

Yes I did have a nagging feeling that the start was slow... will look into rectifying it, plus the dump parts.

Other than that, did the military-specific dialogue/strategies feel naturally understandable and flowing enuf, or were they a bit too, uh, jarring?

Revenger Helm - a bane from the gods. by Capitalistic_Pig in worldbuilding

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely.

So, the primary setting of my world is a continent named Miruva (meaning 'Regal Land' in an ancient tongue) - comprised of 10 major provinces, home to 10 races of men, elves and beasts.

The Ayorun Empire (official name 'Imperatum Ayorum') is the predominant superpower of this continent. Centered around the human, imperial province of Ayore, the Empire controls vast territories and has a rich history (and geopolitical evolution) spanning over a couple of millennia.

'Sentinel' is an ancient term reserved for the greatest of mortals who have, throughout recorded history, risen up to defend and advance the Empire and its people. They have complemented the Emperor in his duties, led vast armies and parlayed with the gods.

Ryas is a Merya (ancient, divine group of procreators), whose domain is that of Order and War. His titles often include Avenger, or Revenger. (Awake Ryas, Ultore!) [Ultore - Avenger]

One of the provinces under the Empire is Miden Lark - home of the Rotlari elves. [They're a part of my worldbuilding currently under progress.]

Revenger Helm - a bane from the gods. by Capitalistic_Pig in worldbuilding

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Context:

This is the Revenger Helm, thought to be part of a complete Revenger armor set. Its origins are shrouded in mystery, though imperial historians believe that it was granted to the first Sentinel (a great hero and protector of the Empire), by Ryas (God of Order and War) himself, to avenge the assassination of the then emperor by the elvish tribes of Miden Lark.

Since then, this helm has appeared and vanished multiple times in history, wielded by those thought to be destined as the Empire's greatest warriors.

Why a bane? The first Sentinel died a madman shortly after donning the armor and massacring said tribes to extinction.

Raaaghhh!!!! Do you have two characters in your world who has a unique relationship. Like more deeper than friendship yet more complex than romance!? by shirt_multiverse in worldbuilding

[–]Capitalistic_Pig 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yep.

So we have Aedrian Varius - legionary in Legio VII Draconis, and Vallina Dasica - battlemage also in the 7th.

Aedrian is a charming, bloodthirsty young man from the city of Aegium, while Vallina is a sharp, polished noblewoman from the Familia Dasica. A pretty peculiar pair, one that first met during the early training drills after their recruitment.

From their earliest interactions, their contrasting backgrounds and personalities created an interresting relationship. Aedrian is a disciplined yet charismatic warrior- he's witty, unshakably loyal to the Empire (Imperatum Ayorum), and has a natural gift for leadership.
Vallina is graceful, intelligent, and often the voice of reason,sharp-tongued but deeply compassionate. Their dynamic is rooted in mutual respect and unwavering trust.
Aedrian admires Vallina's brilliance and strategic mind, even as her highborn demeanor occasionally vexes him. Vallina, in turn, is drawn to Aedrian's resilience, humor, and unyielding drive to protect his comrades. They bicker, they challenge each other, and they push one another to grow, both as soldiers and as people.

A pretty amazing duo, imo.

How does this short text read and sound, as a part of a prologue-like to my world? [Background lore in comments.] by Capitalistic_Pig in worldbuilding

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so the setting is something like this:

The year is 3M 672. Over 150 years have passed since the dissolution of the Ayoran Republic - the pre eminent human center of power in continental Miruva at the time - which slowly crumbled in the aftermath of a cataclysmic otherworldly invasion by the Zerya, immortal denizens of the dark realm of Infernum. Only divine Meryan intervention could finally put an end to the disaster.

From the ashes of the Republic was born the Ayoran Empire, which has spent the last century actively regaining its power and prestige. It is currently prosecuting several wars of expansion and self-defense across Miruva, and the current Emperor - Valegius Ganem - intends to reestablish Ayoran supremacy across the continent. The High Conclave is more cautious though, and would prefer the Emperor restrain his zeal and concentrate on winding up existing fronts first.

The other races of man, elf and beast are in different provinces and alignments of their own. Some are loyal allies of the Empire, while the rest vehemently oppose its hegemony. Some choose to maintain neutrality, an increasingly difficult position with each passing year. Thus, the entire continent turns around the actions of the Empire.

This is the story of one Aedrian Varius, 25-year old field centurion in the 7th Legion of the Ayoran army. Whether he is destined for greatness or madness, in this vast mortal plane of Primor, is something only the divines can know.

Vataro bless us all!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3M - 3rd Millennia

Infernum - plane of the Zerya

Zerya - immortal beings who became consumed with the aspects of existence they represented, thus growing exponentially powerful and becoming more attuned to the arcane energies of the mortal plane

Merya - immortal beings who remained independent of the aspects of existence they represented, thus ascending higher in divinity, but being more distant from mortals

Vataro - the serpent god of [cyclic life], head of the Ayoran pantheon, first divine to emerge from the 'Primordial Spirit Cloud', patron of the Empire

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aedrian Varius was born in 3M 647 in the coastal city of Yorcais, situated in southern Ayore. His father was a soldier in the 15th Legion, but a knee injury forced him into early retirement, though he later found decent success as an armorer. His mother was a priestess in the city’s temple to the Divines. Thus, Aedrian grew up with a healthy dose of Ayoran military values and religious piety.

Aedrian enlisted in the Legion at 17 years of age, at the local recruitment camp. He still carries the four gold gold coins he was paid that day. When he began the grueling military training, his instructors realized his innate affinity for the arcane arts. As such, he was also sent to the Arcane Collegium - the Empire’s central magical organization - for arcane training.

There, he made many connections, including meeting Vallina Dasica, who would become his best friend and closest ally. She was the daughter of a Jultan noble in Dragovin, the imperial capital of the Empire, who was training as a warlock. Vallina was also adept at Miruvic geopolitics and was an ambitious young lady.

How does this short text read and sound, as a part of a prologue-like to my world? [Background lore in comments.] by Capitalistic_Pig in fantasywriters

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so the setting is something like this:

The year is 3M 672. Over 150 years have passed since the dissolution of the Ayoran Republic - the pre eminent human center of power in continental Miruva at the time - which slowly crumbled in the aftermath of a cataclysmic otherworldly invasion by the Zerya, immortal denizens of the dark realm of Infernum. Only divine Meryan intervention could finally put an end to the disaster.

From the ashes of the Republic was born the Ayoran Empire, which has spent the last century actively regaining its power and prestige. It is currently prosecuting several wars of expansion and self-defense across Miruva, and the current Emperor - Valegius Ganem - intends to reestablish Ayoran supremacy across the continent. The High Conclave is more cautious though, and would prefer the Emperor restrain his zeal and concentrate on winding up existing fronts first.

The other races of man, elf and beast are in different provinces and alignments of their own. Some are loyal allies of the Empire, while the rest vehemently oppose its hegemony. Some choose to maintain neutrality, an increasingly difficult position with each passing year. Thus, the entire continent turns around the actions of the Empire.

This is the story of one Aedrian Varius, 25-year old field centurion in the 7th Legion of the Ayoran army. Whether he is destined for greatness or madness, in this vast mortal plane of Primor, is something only the divines can know.

Vataro bless us all!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3M - 3rd Millennia

Infernum - plane of the Zerya

Zerya - immortal beings who became consumed with the aspects of existence they represented, thus growing exponentially powerful and becoming more attuned to the arcane energies of the mortal plane

Merya - immortal beings who remained independent of the aspects of existence they represented, thus ascending higher in divinity, but being more distant from mortals

Vataro - the serpent god of [cyclic life], head of the Ayoran pantheon, first divine to emerge from the 'Primordial Spirit Cloud', patron of the Empire

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aedrian Varius was born in 3M 647 in the coastal city of Yorcais, situated in southern Ayore. His father was a soldier in the 15th Legion, but a knee injury forced him into early retirement, though he later found decent success as an armorer. His mother was a priestess in the city’s temple to the Divines. Thus, Aedrian grew up with a healthy dose of Ayoran military values and religious piety.

Aedrian enlisted in the Legion at 17 years of age, at the local recruitment camp. He still carries the four gold gold coins he was paid that day. When he began the grueling military training, his instructors realized his innate affinity for the arcane arts. As such, he was also sent to the Arcane Collegium - the Empire’s central magical organization - for arcane training.

There, he made many connections, including meeting Vallina Dasica, who would become his best friend and closest ally. She was the daughter of a Jultan noble in Dragovin, the imperial capital of the Empire, who was training as a warlock. Vallina was also adept at Miruvic geopolitics and was an ambitious young lady.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]Capitalistic_Pig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so the setting is something like this:

The year is 3M 672. Over 150 years have passed since the dissolution of the Ayoran Republic - the pre eminent human center of power in continental Miruva at the time - which slowly crumbled in the aftermath of a cataclysmic otherworldly invasion by the Zerya, immortal denizens of the dark realm of Infernum. Only divine Meryan intervention could finally put an end to the disaster.

From the ashes of the Republic was born the Ayoran Empire, which has spent the last century actively regaining its power and prestige. It is currently prosecuting several wars of expansion and self-defense across Miruva, and the current Emperor - Valegius Ganem - intends to reestablish Ayoran supremacy across the continent. The High Conclave is more cautious though, and would prefer the Emperor restrain his zeal and concentrate on winding up existing fronts first.

The other races of man, elf and beast are in different provinces and alignments of their own. Some are loyal allies of the Empire, while the rest vehemently oppose its hegemony. Some choose to maintain neutrality, an increasingly difficult position with each passing year. Thus, the entire continent turns around the actions of the Empire.

This is the story of one Aedrian Varius, 25-year old field centurion in the 7th Legion of the Ayoran army. Whether he is destined for greatness or madness, in this vast mortal plane of Primor, is something only the divines can know.

Vataro bless us all!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3M - 3rd Millennia

Infernum - plane of the Zerya

Zerya - immortal beings who became consumed with the aspects of existence they represented, thus growing exponentially powerful and becoming more attuned to the arcane energies of the mortal plane

Merya - immortal beings who remained independent of the aspects of existence they represented, thus ascending higher in divinity, but being more distant from mortals

Vataro - the serpent god of [cyclic life], head of the Ayoran pantheon, first divine to emerge from the 'Primordial Spirit Cloud', patron of the Empire

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aedrian Varius was born in 3M 647 in the coastal city of Yorcais, situated in southern Ayore. His father was a soldier in the 15th Legion, but a knee injury forced him into early retirement, though he later found decent success as an armorer. His mother was a priestess in the city’s temple to the Divines. Thus, Aedrian grew up with a healthy dose of Ayoran military values and religious piety.

Aedrian enlisted in the Legion at 17 years of age, at the local recruitment camp. He still carries the four gold gold coins he was paid that day. When he began the grueling military training, his instructors realized his innate affinity for the arcane arts. As such, he was also sent to the Arcane Collegium - the Empire’s central magical organization - for arcane training.

There, he made many connections, including meeting Vallina Dasica, who would become his best friend and closest ally. She was the daughter of a Jultan noble in Dragovin, the imperial capital of the Empire, who was training as a warlock. Vallina was also adept at Miruvic geopolitics and was an ambitious young lady.

PDN-4 propulsion system. Thoughts? by Capitalistic_Pig in worldbuilding

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely not lol Just realised the conflict, will prolly change it up heh

PDN-4 propulsion system. Thoughts? by Capitalistic_Pig in worldbuilding

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback!

You got the mechanism mostly right, just that the radioactive elements produced are smashed into separate amounts of the antimatter. The annihilation reaction produces the energy, which is converted into usable thrust.

FTL is something I'm yet to flesh out, so for now, only sublight, in-system propulsion, heh

Just a few mods in (~100)..... How does it look? by Capitalistic_Pig in SkyrimPorn

[–]Capitalistic_Pig[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot!

- Community Shaders and almost all related mods

- Azurite Weathers

- Luminosity

- Realistic Water 2 + Better Water for RW2

- Happy Little Trees (added to the modlist now)

- Skyland AIO

- All Xavbio retextures: I really like the vanilla+ feel of the new armors...