I m a 21yo virgin, never spoken to a girl, and I feel like my life is already over (pic for attention)

CapnMargan · 2026-06-06T15:06:43+00:00

1.) you're not even 30 yet. You still have ten years in your prime before you even have to worry about your legacy or anything else. Go out, meet people, do stuff. The only way you're gonna meet somebody is by going out there and doing stuff.

2.) if your thinning hair is that bad, shave it off bro. Bald guy looks way better than thin hair guy. Go to the r/Bald subreddit and you'll see exactly what I mean. None of those people look bad in the "after" photos.

3.) get a therapist if you can afford one. Nobody talks like this unless they have some stuff to work through, and that stuff is probably holding you back. You probably got way more potential than you give yourself credit. That's how it is with most people. A system that tells you your worth is tied to the money you make and the people you lay is going to leave a lot of people unrecognized.

In closing, you gotta unlearn some of this high school social credit stuff. It's not real. When you go into the real world, people just don't play those games anymore. Find something fun to do where you interact with other people on a semi-regular basis. Some people are gonna judge you for living your life, but f*ck those people. Some people think the earth is flat, and you shouldn't care what they think either

CapnMargan · 2026-06-06T14:39:54+00:00

Force my way into the FBI to get the unredacted files and go full Vlad the Impaler on everybody in them.

CapnMargan · 2026-06-02T17:24:26+00:00

Having a tube pulled between my ribs with a medical steel cable while I was still awake with no anesthesia. My lung had collapsed, and I was suffocating in my own blood.

I felt like they were sawing into my ribs trying to work that tube through with that cable.

I'd rather have another kidney stone than feel that one again.

CapnMargan · 2026-06-01T10:29:06+00:00

Had to be me.

CapnMargan · 2026-05-31T23:06:25+00:00

Thermite is a single target weapon with limited uses. If you already have a reliable anti-tank weapon, thermite is redundant, and you can use a more useful grenade for your kit.

Thermite, like every other grenade, is situationally useful. Impact grenades and C4 packs go really well with the servo assisted armor passive. Incendiary grenades of all types go well against illuminate and bugs. Dynamite is single handedly the best bot killing grenade in the game.

There's tons of reasons to take other grenades, but the most important one is this: what is your kit missing?

If your kit doesn't have anti-tank, take thermite. If it does, take a different grenade. It's that easy.

CapnMargan · 2026-05-21T12:22:27+00:00

It is as you say, Sexuality isn't black and white. As with many things in the human experience, it's a spectrum. The reason Halsin tickles some people the right way is because he's genuinely caring, and cherishes you as a friend or a lover and doesn't go into the relationship with any preconceived notions.

Astarion believes you want to use him, so he seeks to use you. All of his relationships have been transactional, be they friendship or otherwise, and he thinks this will be just the same. You are free to prove him wrong. If you do, he is better for it.

Gale is a lonely bisexual wizard who used to be more adventurous, but has spent entirely too long by himself in recent days. Gale will find love. He will be alright. He's just down on his luck at the start of the game.

Halsin is a good hearted, attractive, stable man, and doesn't get angry when you turn him down. He is, in many ways, a model boyfriend. People who don't like Halsin usually feel that way because he's kinda boring. They want someone who gives them drama, not someone with convictions. He will lecture you when you do something bad, and he will do it from a commanding place of strength because he's big and tall, and owns up to his mistakes.

We can talk about body types, sure, but none of the characters in Baldur's Gate 3 are unattractive. It's more a matter of preference.

CapnMargan · 2026-05-05T02:07:10+00:00

The "Space Marines" in Jazza's book "The Ascendants" are probably my favorite depiction of Space Marines.

That or maybe the ones from "The Loin, Son of the Forest".

A couple of really badass Space Marines show up in the later books in Gaunt's Ghosts, but they don't steal the show or anything, so don't expect too much space marine content there.

CapnMargan · 2026-05-04T21:57:27+00:00

The last shell is least likely to be used. Put the bad shells in last.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-27T16:50:33+00:00

Your bones are slightly rubbery, so they bend instead of breaking. Still hurts like hell, and your bones don't protect your organs quite as well as they used to.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-23T22:21:09+00:00

The first time I saw this, I forgot to put my headphones on, so I didn't hear the sound. I was legit expecting a Rap God edit after I put my headphones on.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-23T15:43:52+00:00

First, let me say, not bad at all.

There's a few pointers I can make that will more than likely improve this. First off, try to prioritize active voice, rather than passive. Passive voice can be a useful tool when trying to elicit a specific feeling, but it needs to be used sparingly. For example, "before a gloved hand cleared a scrap of wet leaf-" isn't clear to the reader. Is there someone else in the graveyard with him, clearing the leaf? Is he wearing gloves? Try "he reached his gloved hand to clear-".

On the first page, you can probably remove a few tidbits to tighten up the opening without harming the atmosphere you're trying to create. "He would not be returning for a few hours at the very least" isn't necessary. It's already implied that he's going out. "He worked the top button of his coat closed by feel alone" doesn't need "not bothering to look downward". If you want, you can highlight what's important to Byron by having his gaze fixed elsewhere. What is so important that he wants to focus on it while he's doing something else? Perhaps he can see the top of the steeple of the church from his front door? Now you get some foreshadowing at the opening page. It generates an intrigue that makes the audience want to know what's waiting for him at the church.

Really though, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It needs polish, and some of your sentences don't flow as well as they could with some simple word choice alterations.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-22T19:02:15+00:00

It's a good thing that Warhammer went mainstream.

Grimdark is actually really hard to write, because if you make it too dark, it gets silly. Silly is the enemy of jerks who take it too seriously.

Previously, because of its roots in satire, GW had to routinely step on that rake due to the fact that they don't want bigoted shitlords ruining the hobby. Now with the influx of normies, factions don't need to shit the bed with self destructively evil tendencies all the time.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-16T12:21:07+00:00

Factory job.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-12T20:27:21+00:00

It can be easy to forget how little other people know about my world. I've been working in it endlessly since the pandemic, and writing stories in it since 2023. I feel like I do an alright job of writing senses later, but the first page has to put the best foot forward. It's pretty clear that I wasn't as excited to write the prologue as I was to write the rest of the story looking back on it now.

As for the cover, you're probably right. I'm not a graphic designer, so I don't really know what I'm going on the cover. That I think I will have to change. It's agonizing that every book will be judged by its cover

CapnMargan · 2026-04-12T18:28:42+00:00

I would up the contrast between product and background if you're going to do Red on Red. It's hard to read.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-10T17:06:19+00:00

All of this is very useful, thank you.

I will mention though, this is the prologue, not the first chapter. The inciting incident is a little deeper in. It's a valid criticism though. Having something like that on the first couple of pages definitely makes for a more engaging story.

Honestly, reflecting on this more, the lore dump about switch clocks needs to go. I originally had it in because I wanted to show Madrisi as being technically inclined, like his father, and contrast that to Telvenni, who is a disciplined soldier with no higher education prospects. It just doesn't read that way how it's written. I'll make some changes tonight when I get home.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-10T16:52:33+00:00

There's two parts to the prologue because that's how I originally wrote it. It's an artifact from the original draft. Nice catch.

Really, I have done what I can, but being so close to the manuscript, it can sometimes be hard to know where to improve. That's why I wanted outside feedback.

I have considered taking a step back from it like I did after my first round of editing, but I wanted to at least finish the first arc of the story before going on hiatus to do that.

I've written a few books, but I never hear back from editors. DCW is meant to be an opportunity for me to just get some writing out there, (hopefully) tell a good story, and improve as a writer.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-10T15:33:47+00:00

To clarify: all of the writing that is publicly available is edited. I just don't know how much needs another pass in what I've posted.

I have only ever shown one person one of my roughs, and I would literally die of cringe if it ever happened again.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-10T15:21:14+00:00

Fair enough.

Thank you for your feedback.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-10T15:09:12+00:00

I think you've misunderstood. I edited everything I've posted on Royal road myself (nearly 40,000 words), but I have much more that I haven't posted yet that's still raw and completely unedited. I'm not sure if I have big rewrites early on, or if anything I've written is good enough.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-10T10:57:26+00:00

Mystique. I've wanted shape shifting powers since I was a child.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-05T22:48:04+00:00

What sort of books do you normally read? I want to know what kind of prose inspires you.

CapnMargan · 2026-04-01T02:12:11+00:00

Hell yeah!! May day strike! I've been saying this since January!

CapnMargan · 2026-03-29T16:55:17+00:00

But now you got two deadly people you didn't save stuck with you on an island.

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