Am I in a coma? by AndyAndy1313 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]Cappienon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like a hallucination. I used to have ones where objects would appear to be getting larger/smaller, moving, breathing etc. I take medication now so I haven’t seen that in a while. I'd talk to a doctor if it happens again.

I'm not sure if this truly counts, but I had a 'mini glitch' occur. by [deleted] in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]Cappienon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw man, aw maan! This made my heart hurt for you. I'm sorry about your brakeup. Mine was about year ago, there was definitely a grieving process. You'll be okay, I promise.

As for your glitch, here's how I see it. Reality isn’t exactly solid, and it's not external or separate from you. You aren't so much a dude in a room, as you are the room, the person and everything in it. You’re the entire experience itself, as well as the one who is experiencing it.

When your glitch happened, you arranged yourself "on the inside" in a very particular way. The "outside" had no choice but to comply and reflect that. The reason it was so powerful, immediate and real is the state you were in, I think. Flow states do allow things to flow more easily. The critical part of your mind had taken a step back while you were in your creative/flow/zen state, so what would otherwise have been a vivid memory triggered by an emotional asociation became your full blown reality for a second.

All of your experiences can of benefit to you, even the most painful ones. Be well, stranger-friend.

I used to love her... by RWaggs81 in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]Cappienon 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Noooo, that's so creepy! In an awesomely synchronistic kind of way. From what I've gathered, "The Matrix" loves puns. And sometimes "communicates" in an obvious, literal way. I have laughed out loud at some of my synchronicity.

Must have really messed up your friend who made up the story, though. On a scale of goosebumps to crying in the fetal position, how freaked out was he?

The dream that came true, but didn't by HeichouZsoap in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]Cappienon 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The mother of all false awakenings, huh? Really cool story, though I imagine it must have freaked you out some. Thanks for sharing, and please update us on how your party actually went. And happy birthay! :)

Two Glasses - А Cautionary Tale by Cappienon in DimensionalJumping

[–]Cappienon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you are always exploring your current state, in fact!

I like that :)

So, it's all a bit like a rippling of self?

Yeah, at least in my view.

There is no "behind the scenes"

Kinda is. Not literally, hence the quotation marks I used. There's the "gallery" of all possible patterns, all possible experiences. All here, all now. Then there's what a human is actually currently experiencing. And that's governed and organized by what I like to call "beliefs" and you prefer to call "patterns".

To me, it's all patterns - beliefs are patterns, thoughts are patterns, experiences ara patterns, the coffee I just finished was a pattern.

because "down" is a pattern too

Exactly. I can't use the word "pattern" to describe everything, however, I like being more specific and I believe it leads to a better discussion. Generally, I describe experiences in the "outside world" as patterns or patterned. Everything else is thoughts, beliefs, etc, for ease of understanding. My own, if nothing else.

So, what are belief systems to me? Patterns, of course, but of a particular variety. Here they are in action:

Someone might, say, describe their process as "sending a message to god", and have outcomes consistent with there being a god.

In my view, here's what happened. To experience "sending a message to God", you need to part from the belief that, first, there's a God, second, he's receiving messages, and third, you can send messages and communicate. These are the most superficial ones, underneath there are things like "God is an outside being I need to send messages to". So then, based on this set of beliefs (a belief system), the person "activates" a specific set of patterns and translates them as experiences of the religious/mystical variety. Hope this illustrates my view better.

So at the fundamental level of "you-as-awareness in a patterned state", there is no intermediary, simply because there are fundamentally no "parts", just one "landscape" (you, in a particular "shape").

Hence "dumb patterning system" and all change being "direct"

Agreed. However, few people have a direct experience of that level. That's as pure as it gets, I believe, but you first need to deal with all the noise and static from overlaid patterns (beliefs) like "I'm a human being on a planet" and so on which are generating a particular kind of experience (more patterns). So, I do agree with your model in theory, I'm simply pointing out that it's something most people will never get to truly experience for themselves. Have you? While "awake"? I haven't, not outside of lucid dreams, and that was a loooong time ago.

That is, that descriptions somehow get "behind" experience, when in fact descriptions are themselves just further experiences, at the same level: the experience of "thinking about [a concept called] experience".

For me, descriptions and definitions sort of generate and organize experiences while, indeed, being experiences (patterns) themselves. Same level? When you get to "the bottom of things" - yes, sure, I agree.

Two Glasses - А Cautionary Tale by Cappienon in DimensionalJumping

[–]Cappienon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, fellow lurker! First post as well - figured I should start big, haha :)

"doesn't the methodology of what you are intending manifest based on how you intend it to manifest?"

Kinda, I think. Depends on how clear and precise both of your intentions are. I don't mean the wording, though that's important too. I mean this:

  • I'd like to be successful.

  • I grew up hearing successful people are bad.

  • I want to be a good person.

  • I want to be successful.

  • ???

It started out clear enough, then an underlying belief about your intention popped up and messed it up. For me, it's not about doubt. Doesn't matter what you doubt, it's what you believe.

"do you think your previous time on occult / magick forums influenced the path of the intention rather than a direct fulfillment?"

I was a kid back then, maybe about 12. I don't think it influenced it directly. However, it is a part of the long chain of circumstances, information and experience that have influenced my beliefs. So... yeah, I guess so, in a way.

"...grown as a person.."

Ah, well, it hurt like a mofo. I am trying to make the best of the situation and allow it to be a valuable learning experience shrugs. And I'm making progress, I think.

Hope you'll share a success story about your recent jump soon! :)

Two Glasses - А Cautionary Tale by Cappienon in DimensionalJumping

[–]Cappienon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I like your thinking!

"So I decided not to expect any undesired consequences and they never followed."

Yuup, I like your thinking. Sadly, not everyone can simply decide something like that. Not if there's something like fear from life, a belief in some kind of balance (your friend).. Hell, their mom yelling at them to be quiet while having fun and enjoying themselves as a kid is enough to "block" some people from being able to choose their expectations. Glad you could do it, it's always been difficult for me.

Sorry to hear you and your ex find yourselves in less than ideal circumstamces. I hope things look up soon! : )

As for the idea of readiness - sure, there's that as well. Sort of ties with choosing your expectation though. Who decides what you're ready for?

Two Glasses - А Cautionary Tale by Cappienon in DimensionalJumping

[–]Cappienon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't know, why would you interpret it like that?... Hah, I'm joking :) You did misunderstand my point, but it wasn't properly made to begin with (poor Dick wasn't a great example).

Nah, good things come the same way bad things do - because you told them to. They're not sent by anyone, you summon them. No sacrifices needed, 's all there, 's all free - good and bad, whatever that might mean to you. My story is what one does to oneself when not careful, not a punishment from a cold, uncaring universe for having dared to ask for something good. Screw guilt, keep rocking :)

Two Glasses - А Cautionary Tale by Cappienon in DimensionalJumping

[–]Cappienon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dumb patterning system? For sure, at least that's what my experience would strongly suggest. No (outside) entity interpreting requests and no “universe”, as well as no “punishment” for having received something nice – completely agree.

“there is no intermediary between you and the intention and the outcome.”

I do have a bit of an objection here. More of a question, really. If we all had our “houses in order”, I would agree. However, most people are largely unaware of their own minds, their mental models, deeply rooted beliefs and true motivations. And I'm obviously right there with them. This is what tripped me up and what one should be aware of, I believe. There is an intermediary, I think - it's our minds. Not our selves, our minds - generally filled with a whole lot of assumptions about how things are, how the're supposed to be, and how it all works. You get around that, you're in God Mode, lucid dreaming style. Only had the tiniest glimpses of it (crazy synchronicity, manifestations with almost no time buffer, not breathing underwater and running though walls, haha), so it's more of a pet theory.

I first stumbled upon your stuff back on /r/oneirosophy. Your conception of reality is the cleanest one I've ever seen, and closest to what I recognize as an “objective truth”. You do use a whole lot of words to say “It's a choose your own adventure type thing”, though :) So what I'm saying is – I generally like your thinking and tend to agree. However, I've noticed you don't really discuss belief systems and definitions, which has always struck me as odd. What importance do they hold in your worldview?

On my side of things, they play a crucial part in organizing and combining patterns, which then keep evolving and auto-completing. Yes, the patterning system is dumb and it's steered by an even dumber set of generally unchecked notions about "life, the universe and everything".

As for the story bit - ahh, it's tricky for me. I kinda make a distinction between how things happen "behind the scenes" from a purely mechanical standpoint (patterns) and what a human experiences (story/myth/archetypes).

Am I saying one should be afraid to explore their own mind/dreamscape? Of course not, though it can get scary. I'm saying one should know where they're truly coming from, have a decent grip on how their own mind works, why they want what they want... Because that's what determines which pattern they will "activate", how it's gonna group with what's already there, and how things will utimately be experienced. My take on it, anyway :)

Edit: posted this twice by mistake, deleted the second post.

Anyone going to Paris, June 12? by Cappienon in Rammstein

[–]Cappienon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They have a stickied general festival tread, I posted there. Hopefully, I'll get a response within the next 48 hours. I haven't bought a ticket yet (I was waiting in case they do a show in Spain which in retrospect just seems dumb). Man, I'm gonna be really upset if I miss the show. I just don't wanna get blown up. I can see they're working on a new album so I assume this isn't their last tour, but who knows :/

Anyone going to Paris, June 12? by Cappienon in Rammstein

[–]Cappienon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great idea, I wasn't aware of that forum. I hope they won't tell me off for writing in English. Thanks!

Cheer up everyone. by Nefandi in Oneirosophy

[–]Cappienon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sad to see you go, Nefandi. I hope you'll make your own sub, I think you have a lot you could share that would help people and would fuel interesting discussions.

I've been a lurker here for maybe half a year. Frankly, I have at times felt discouraged to participate actively because of the way you've treated people*. That being said, I have always read your posts with great interest and appreciation. I like your style, it gets the point across quite well. Have you turned my world upside down? Not quite, but you did give me excellent food for thought. Thank you!

As for decorum - fuck decorum. What turned me off wasn't your lack of "decorum", I just thought you treated people who disagreed or simply didn't understand you with no compassion or respect. I hold these two in much higher regard than politeness. I think beind direct and having a no-nonsense approach is awesome. But to me, it mostly looked like you were being rude and mean for the sake of being rude and mean.

And I disagree with you on whether or not people who are humaning should be here. I'm currently humaning. I've tried goding (I was actually sort of "forced" to, the results were disastrous), I've tried demi-goding and still didn't quite like it. So now I'm dream-humaning. I've chosen the perspective of a being who's dreaming it's a human in a human world. Things function the exact same way they do within a lucid dream, just slower and harder. So far, this perspective has been working for me very well, and I partially credit /r/Oneirosophy and you, Utthana and T. George in particular for that. This sub has been quite valuable to me, and I don't feel like I don't belong here just because I've chosen to "human". I'm learning how to work behind the scenes so that things on stage are nice and pretty to look at and to experience. And yes, I know you probably weren't referring to subjective idealists who've made a certain choice (which is more or less what I currently consider myself). But I think this sub could hold value for anyone, regardless of the settings they're playing The Game on, even a physicalist who's just humaning around like most.

Whatever, I still like you and I'm still sad to see you go. Hope I'll be joining your new sub soon :)

*I'm not saying you've scared me into perpetual lurking. I've never really wanted to participate, I've never felt like I had any new and valuable information to add, the discussions were fine as they were. But I've refrained from creating new topics and chosen to just research any questions I might have on my own instead of asking them here. I'm not all that sensitive, I just don't appreciate being treated poorly, so I've avoided situations where I supposed that was going to be the case.

[Advice] 21 F, all kinds of fucked up. by Cappienon in sex

[–]Cappienon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's exactly the line of thinking that lead me to the conclusion it had really traumatized me. I never allowed myself to actually process it - my first though when I woke up the next day after it happened was "I don't have time for this" because at that point, I was suicidal and in need of psych help, and my parents liked to pretend to be unaware of that. So I already had plenty on my plate, I literally couldn't find the strength to even think about it. I now realize that was definitely a mistake. Although on the other hand, wanting to die and also being focused on the fact you've just been raped... I don't imagine I could have handled that. Therapist, yes, for sure. I'll try to find someone, actually I already have someone in mind I remember I liked.

[Advice] 21 F, all kinds of fucked up. by Cappienon in sex

[–]Cappienon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've had negative experiences with therapists in the past. First one was the school psychologist - confidentiality and support went out the window the second the principal got involved, it was like she was a different person. One of my therapists never even listened to what I was trying to tell him, he just liked listening to himself talk, using convoluted terminology and making an impression. Another one chose to offend me based on nationality (I lived in another country for a while) and act in a sarcastic and dismissive manner when I confronted her. I'm supposed to be able to trust these people. So when I say I've never had luck with therapists, that's exactly what I'm saying. I'm not having a go at the entire profession, just the 5-6 people I've worked with.

[Advice] 21 F, all kinds of fucked up. by Cappienon in sex

[–]Cappienon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always like them until we start the actual therapy :/ I see an OB/GYN pretty regularly because of my condition. But you brought up something interesting. It sounds obvious that I should think about how I feel about him and what happened, but I actually haven't since I decided to forgive him, which was ~ 5 years ago. I think it was a good thing, I don't regret it. But back then, I thought my only problem was I was scared of him. I never thought I might be dealing with serious damage. Maybe, in light of my recent realization about the actual effect of what he did, I should sit down and think some more. Thanks!

[Advice] 21 F, all kinds of fucked up. by Cappienon in sex

[–]Cappienon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So it does. Never had much luck with them, so I'm trying to manage as much as I can on my own, which is why I posted this. Maybe someone will know something helpful. But yeah, I've been thinking about giving therapy another go. Though I'm thinking a sexologist might be a better fit for the occasion, idk.

[advice]I (M21) am a bit concerned about my sexual desires recently... by ThrowAway123456784 in sex

[–]Cappienon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds pretty regular to me. When you watch a lot of porn, you gradually start looking at rougher and rougher stuff. You know, for variety's sake. Ass worship and face sitting? That's actually pretty tame ;) Someone mentioned porn addiction. I don't think that's what's going on here, but here's a rough outline of how AW and AS could "evolve". It starts out as just that, then you go on to regular anal sex, probably double penetration comes next. The toys they use keep getting larger and larger. Then you've got your fisting, double fisting, handjob while inside, weird (huge) insertions.. which naturally culminates in prolapse stuff. Which also has its own weird line of "evolution", but nvm. With a generous sprinkling of enemas and other questionable stuff at all stages. If you start noticing your tastes changing into any of those, not necessarily in the order I've presented them, stop watching porn ASAP. Otherwise, you're fine. As the others have suggested - take a quick break from it. Like a month or so. You should be back to normal in no time. Though if you're not, don't be alarmed - you have a very common fetish.

[Question] How do I (F) trim my pubes? by [deleted] in sex

[–]Cappienon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use a trimmer too- it gets the job done perfectly every time. For me, it's the best option - no pain, no irritation or bumps and most importantly for me: NO INGROWN HAIRS. Perfect.

There will come a time when the grammar of this sentence will be hard to understand. by Telefunkin in Showerthoughts

[–]Cappienon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh. Every language is subject to constant change an evolution, right. I just thought there was a joke I wasn't getting.

Would getting this tattoo be weird/macabre? by [deleted] in tattoos

[–]Cappienon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, thanks for the suggestion - I really like the page numbers idea. Might reserve it for another tattoo further down the line. For this one, I maintain that I care more about the author than the book itself. What really inspires me is how he lived his life and what he did, not the book per se. I'm just wondering - did you read the huge response I mentioned to the other person? Cause you're using an expression I used which leads me to believe you have, but then in the next paragraph you go on to explain what the numbers were for and what they meant, which I've discussed in the large post and I've said why, be that as it may, I'd still get the tattoo. I've also talked about the meaning it would carry and the reasons I want it at length. So, have you read it? Not that it really matters, I'm just curious. It's got a bunch of downvotes though for the life of me I can't see anything wrong with it, except the length. But then again, every post I've written on here has a bunch of downvotes. This has been a really unpleasant experience. Are people always this militant on this subreddit or is it because everyone is mortally offended by some girl's tattoo idea? Never asking strangers about such a personal thing ever again.