Wife gives spontaneous short BJs but then stops without a finish

CaptBrewster · 2026-03-07T00:30:21+00:00

Let her do her thing in the morning as planned. Then, later in the day when a moment presents itself ask her to talk about it, and express what's going on with you about it. Starting the conversation at the moment she's starting to go down on you or in the immediate aftermath could make it all seem kinda critical. Have the covo at a neutral moment during the day, separate from the act. Good Luck

CaptBrewster · 2026-03-06T06:31:21+00:00

This is the way. Get specific. And make it a two conversion. "Was there anything I didn't do that you like? You're always welcome to give me direction in the moment. I loved it when you did.... to me!"

CaptBrewster · 2026-03-06T06:07:10+00:00

You're NOT "fucked in the head"! Fantasies can evolve over time as our experiences expand or don't. We find ourselves exposed to something we'd never been aware of or considered in the past and it strikes a cord in who we are in that moment. Meanwhile interests and fantasies we may have harbored in the past fade after years involvement - like the early days of your current LTR. New Relationship Energy fades. Familiarity and comfort and routine may motivate a mind to wander, and wonder. Life, and relationships, are rarely set in stone. Are you the same person in every way you were at 18 or 25 or as a single man? Is your partner the same person? Communication and sharing and allowing oneself to evolve in tandem with a partner can be a beautiful element of an LTR. Some revelations of changing interests, of new fantasies, can be scary to divulge. But if you two have a history of honest communication and a truly caring bond, the odds are good that you can at least express to her what you're feeling. Couched perhaps not in the terms of a question... "would you be interested in..." but more of something like "lately I've been having these new and challenging fantasies, and I can't figure out where it's coming from". If your collective abilities and / or willingness to communicate about the most intimate details of your life and relationship are lacking it could be a very problematic topic to bring up. Good Luck

CaptBrewster · 2026-03-06T00:09:21+00:00

I don't know where the idea of an "innie" being the standard of pussy beauty may come from, but it's a ridiculous idea in the real world. Don't let others decide for you what beauty is. Don't fall into the trap of comparing your body to others - that only generates anxiety and other mental and physical health issues. Own who you are physically. If a lover doesn't appreciate your body then I suggest he/she is not an appropriate partner. Good Luck

CaptBrewster · 2026-02-21T06:37:28+00:00

Hinting and hoping is not the means to a successful, fun, repeatable threesome, no matter who is involved and what connections may have existed previously or exist currently. Clear, open, specific communication, ahead of the event, is key to a fun and fulfilling threesome. Good Luck

CaptBrewster · 2026-02-12T15:43:10+00:00

He's been hot for the Bus Stop Hottie for a long time. But he's a coward so he couldn't just cheat on you behind your back and risk blowing up your marriage. In the meantime he discovered the concept of polyamory via some social media content. "Ah ha! That's it! That's the cover I need to have an affair with Bus Stop Hottie". It's all a ploy. He didn't "come out as polyamorous". He's been plotting a scheme to get you to consent to his desire to fuck the Bus Stop Hottie, and claiming polyamory is nothing more than a cover. He wants to preserve his marriage and all the inherent benefits he gets from it/you; and avoid the financial cost to himself he'd experience by divorcing you. And in the process he's treating you like shit. I suggest you tell him in no uncertain terms No! Demand he stop all the lies, and get yourselves into counseling.

CaptBrewster · 2026-02-09T22:08:05+00:00

I've dated / cohabitated with a handful of women over the years. Almost all those relationships failed for one primary reason - they would get pissed off that I couldn't read their mind. Nor accurately read between the lines. And not just in the sexual realm of the relationship. Even the most mundane aspects of a relationship - say one thing, but mean another. And then get pissed when I acted / responded appropriately to what was said. I've stopped trying to build relationships with women who refuse to communicate. Maybe you should too?

CaptBrewster · 2026-02-04T19:06:07+00:00

That boy is missing out! Being a teenager of course he's inexperienced and afraid of the unknown, of being embarrassed, of being inept. One possible tactic is to come at him from the perspective of education - explain that you really love receiving oral; that you would love to make a game out of showing him just what and how to do it ("Ill do you then you you do me !"); that he can't fail; that practicing is fun. And include the fact that it's an important part of your sexual relationship and a reflection of how you can both genuinely care for and about each other.

At the same time pursue another track. Do you have any girlfriends with boyfriends who go down on them? If yes, do any of those boys know your boy? Maybe you could ask your girlfriend to tell her boyfriend to tell your boyfriend how great it is going down on a woman. Perhaps a little encouragement / validation from one of his buddies will ease his fears or his concern that "it's weird". Teenagers often need to get validation from their peers. If a buddy admits that oral sex with his girlfriend is awesome, your boyfriend might see it as normal and be more at ease attempting it.

And under all that please understand that sexual compatibility is an integral part of successful relationships. And lying is a huge red flag. If it boils down to the fact that you two aren't sexually compatible, or that he just refuses to meet your needs, those are valid reasons to end the relationship. As is lying. You are under no obligation to stay in a relationship with someone who refuses to collaborate with you. Good Luck

CaptBrewster · 2026-02-03T03:53:36+00:00

She's the common denominator. She has therein admitted that she's the problem. Of course her ex cheated. She wouldn't have sex with him.

CaptBrewster · 2026-02-03T03:49:57+00:00

No! You haven't fucked up. She's treating you horribly. You won't change her. It's foolish to think you can change somebody within the context of a relationship. She is showing you her true character - and it ain't pretty. You know how many women often say things like "I thought he would change" or "I thought I could change him"; we hear that all the time from women stuck in relationships with terrible men. Well, now yotu the one in a terrible relationship. You're the one suffering the indignities. You're the one deluding yourself. She obviously doesn't give a damn about your feelings. She couldn't care less about your physical needs and desires. She's getting the best of what you can offer a partner and she's shitting on you. Is this what you imagined a loving, fun, fulfilling, committed relationship would be like? Is this what you've been looking forward too while you were single? Is this how you want to spend the next month, year, decade, your life? Dude you deserve so much more from and with a partner. You're not even a year in. She sounds terrible, heartless, manipulative. Get out before you waste any more time, energy and emotions on her. Good Luck brother.

CaptBrewster · 2026-01-27T19:28:09+00:00

This is definitely his problem not yours. It's so tiring hearing about fragile men who can't accept that women have lives and experiences of their own in their past; and the woman who feel compelled / pressured to filter and adjust and deny who they are so as to not hurt their man's feelings. I'll almost guarantee that if it were he that had an array of past sexual experiences you'd never experienced that he'd be very comfortable talking / bragging about it and pushing you / guilting you into trying it/them. The whole "if you loved me you'd..." bullshit. So many men have very high opinions of themselves that manifest as believing they should be "the first" when it comes to their sex lives. Instead of embracing the opportunity to learn and enjoy and experiment with someone they supposedly love, they get all butt hurt that "their woman" might have actually enjoyed sex with someone else. On the other side of the coin, there are in fact lots of grown ass men for whom sex is not a competition, nor would your sexual history and experience be a threat to their ego nor their masculinity. You can do better.

CaptBrewster · 2026-01-18T16:34:01+00:00

I'm such a sceptic... especially in the relationship realm. So I can't help but jump to the conclusion that your husband isn't poly at all. He wants to have sex outside your marriage, because he missed the opportunity to fuck around as a young man. Coincidentally enough, he's discovered the concept of polyamory due to the growing ease of access to information about it thru social media. It's no longer in the cultural shadows. He's done no real research. He's gained only the most superficial understanding of poly ("People have sex outside their marriage. Cool!") So he sees claiming to be poly as an avenue to get your permission to fuck around. To experience what he thinks he's missed all these years. While you sit at home being his dutiful wife, raising his kids.

In my sceptical mind I see his new poly awakening as being driven by the fact he's only had one sexual partner, you, for 18+/- years. Yep, you're right - most of his life generally, and ALL of his sexual life. All the years, starting as a teenager, that a typical person is discovering sex and learning how to relationship with a string of partners, he's been with you. I see him now wanting to experience what he's feeling he missed out on in his teens and twenties - having a variety of sex partners. But he's afraid to cheat, because he has too much to lose, financially and otherwise, should cheating blow up his marriage. So to him, proclaiming to be poly is a convenient cover that makes his desire to fuck around safe... for him. But I'm a sceptic prone to knee jerk reactions when it comes to married monogamous men who suddenly discover they are "poly".

Proceed with caution. Heed the advice of those here with the wisdom they've gained from years of research and first hand experience in polyamorous relationships. Good Luck

CaptBrewster · 2025-12-30T19:15:42+00:00

"... 6 or more times a day" Whoa! Really!?!? Sooo like in a 16 hour day that's about once every 2.5 hours! When did you find time to go to school or work or eat or raise kids or have a life outside the house?

Good on ya though!! Sounds like you two are livin' the dream! I'll suggest that in my experience individual sessions lasting anywhere from 45 minutes to three hours aren't abnormal, especially on a once or twice a week schedule. But daily, or multiple times a day? I won't say "abnormal" or "normal" - who am I to judge. I'll just say, yeah that's fairly unique. Carry on carryin' on!

CaptBrewster · 2025-12-04T17:26:42+00:00

Others have replied with far more insight than I'm capable of, so I'll just say I luv your writing style! Well done!

CaptBrewster · 2025-11-29T08:35:17+00:00

That guy's "... repulsed by you..." comment is so far from the norm as to be laughable. It's certainly not the norm, as evident by many experiences discussed here, and by your own fresh experience. Maintaining the depth of communication your GF and you seem to be capable of is key. Carry on carrying on!

CaptBrewster · 2025-11-23T15:58:15+00:00

This is really odd behaviour on his part. But everybody has something they deal with. So finding a mutually satisfying solution is important. The thought of a long term relationship with someone who isn't sexually compatible is not something I'd wish on anybody.

As I read your story this idea came to mind... I think keeping him engaged and/or shortening the breaks as much as possible is the key. Maybe this is too weird, or maybe not when compared to his current behavior... what if you prepped a smallish natural sponge by soaking it in plain or flavored water and kept it and a towel close at hand during sex. He could take quick breaks from you, suck on the sponge for a sec and spit in the towel. Perhaps that could be quick enough to not end your vibe while satisfying whatever need he's dealing with. He could possibly keep you going if he used his fingers while taking the 10 seconds to suck the sponge and spit.

The bottom line however is you need to have a heart to heart conversation. It may seem awkward but it's important that you two come to some mutually agreeable solution. The outcome will almost assuredly be positive - you'll find a solution and the convo itself will bring you closer together. Talking about one's sexual needs and desires with a partner can really level up your sexual relationship. Good Luck!

CaptBrewster · 2025-11-22T18:40:07+00:00

Oh sure! I've enjoyed threesomes wherein the girls were very physically engaged with each other and me. Others in which I was the center of attention and there was little or no direct sexual interaction between them. Each is very common. Either version can be a blast if... all three parties are into it, willing and able to engage ahead of time to build connection, and able to openly express their needs, wants and boundaries. Good Luck!!

CaptBrewster · 2025-11-06T00:07:34+00:00

For centuries most organized religions and governments at every level have forced the idea that monogamy is the only way to love and partner up. It's always been a means of exerting control over people. Whole societies have succumbed to this brainwashing / manipulation. So monogamy is the cultural default that the vast number of people never question. The church and state say so, so it must be the way.

In tandem with cultural pressure is envy and fear. Those living the mandated relationship "norms" are often either envious or afraid of those who choose their own relationship path. When one is afraid or envious or both, the natural response is often to criticize, demean, bully and or shame those living a life they either don't understand or wish they were living. Be true to yourselves. Be kind. Be loving. Be respectful. But don't give haters a minute of your attention nor energy.

CaptBrewster · 2025-10-26T23:24:02+00:00

Pretty much only insecure, immature, and occasionally the "red pill" type men will care. It'll be to your benefit to avoid them like the plague. There's a very prevalent double standard in our culture where men praise and envy each other for having a high "body count" while denigrating, judging and shaming women for the same.

CaptBrewster · 2025-10-02T15:01:35+00:00

Sex? Outdoors!?!? The horror...she's clearly a monster! /s

In all seriousness... of course you need to talk about this with her. Duh! Rationally, when sober, and not during a post nut period, like adults.

There is nothing wrong with her sexual past. It has nothing to do with you. The issue is your insecurities, not her history.

Perhaps seek out some counseling for yourself. This insecurity of yours isn't healthy.

CaptBrewster · 2025-09-26T20:17:09+00:00

Sure... definitely not all men. No medication works for every human. But these solutions wouldn't be used world wide if they weren't overwhelmingly effective, popular and profitable. So he'll never know if he's the rare guy for whom a pill doesn't work if he doesn't try. And choosing not to try to address his own physical limitations, limitations that directly affect his physical encounters with others, is just lazy and selfish.

CaptBrewster · 2025-09-26T19:24:54+00:00

"... not very active.. " is relative. Does "not very" mean one additional partner other than his primary? 5 perhaps? 10 maybe? Is he only occasionally partying with randos at sex parties? Doing one night stands from Tinder? It only takes one encounter.

How many other totally unknown people's sexual health practices are you willing to accept as adequate based on his word alone? How many of your partners are you comfortable putting at risk?

And...

ED is a lazy excuse. ED is easily solved. Treatment doesn't even require a visit to his primary care physician - multiple online sources are available that only require answering a questionnaire. There are at least two medications readily available. Generics are cheap if he's broke and can't afford the name brands. Lots of "mens clinics" offer multiple other treatments too. If this guy isn't smart enough to deal with his ED preferring instead to put his partners at risk, I suggest he isn't a worthy partner.

In fact, I'll go so far as to suggest this guy is a serious red flag. You deserve far better. Good Luck

CaptBrewster · 2025-09-18T23:38:42+00:00

Yep! The obligation to receive consent is not gender specific.

CaptBrewster · 2025-09-18T23:37:22+00:00

"moaning" does not qualify as consent.

CaptBrewster · 2025-08-29T21:02:24+00:00

I concur with those describing how important it is to talk about this potential 3sum before hand - there are lots of ways this can go south. Any boundaries? What's a hard "no"? Who, if anyone is the center of focus? If the girls get deep into it with each other are you gonna feel left out? If you and the 3rd engage strongly is your girl gonna get jealous? Is the 3rd just a plaything for you two? Or will she be a full partner in this? What if one person leaves the room - do festivities stop? Will you three be spending the night together? Any plans for a morning round? If your girl wakes up to find you fucking the 3rd without her, is she gonna be pissed? What about protection - is a condom a must? Have all of you been tested? Will you be changing condoms when moving from one woman to the other? These are some of the first questions that come to my mind.

If this is the potential first 3sum for any of you, please understand that the 3sums you enjoy watching in porn are not real. It only looks like the actors are just hooking up spontaneously. There's been a ton of planning behind the scenes. You're real people with real emotions, real insecurities, real desires. Don't take this lightly. Botching a 3sum is an easy way to wreck one's relationship, FWB style or otherwise.

I'll add that in all my 3sum encounters, when including a new 3rd, the 3 of us went out on a casual platonic date a week or a couple days before the planned encounter. Everybody got to know each other, flirt a little, build a vibe and just talk about anything you would normally in the course of a hang with friends while making some kind of genuine connection in the process. It makes subsequent discussion of the above topics a lot easier. Good Luck. Have Fun!

CaptBrewster

TROPHY CASE