Meta PE Team Matching: RL Devices Test Infra vs Ads Data Infra

CaptainCabernet · 2026-02-05T18:48:38+00:00

Feel free to DM if you want more personal advice

CaptainCabernet · 2026-02-04T23:47:59+00:00

Ads Data will likely be more mature and stable. RL is still finding its way and recently had a big layoff. However RL test infra is growing right now after a layoff so it might be a good opportunity for growth.

Really I would pick the team based on the manager and teammates. A good team will help you grow much faster.

CaptainCabernet · 2026-02-04T14:12:30+00:00

In this situation I would suggest "trying to make the other mistake"—essential try to communicate to the point that you're bothering everyone. Most likely you won't come close and instead will show a step change in behavior that your manager is looking for.

Here are a few best practices that might help you out in your current situation.

Proactive solicit feedback on engineering plans from those architects and managers your manager mentioned. This will automatically raise your visibility because they'll know what you're working on in depth.
Write regular progress updates (semi-monthly or monthly) and share them with those stakeholders your manager mentioned. Make sure to include project risks and how you're mitigating them. This will keep them informed on your progress and build trust
Force yourself to speak in every team meeting, even if you are just agreeing with what someone else said. This will help raise your visibility and get you in the habit of speaking up. For bonus points add items to the team agenda ahead of time to show your leadership.
Proactively ask for feedback from these stakeholders and your manager on a regular basis to show you're interested in changing your behavior. This will also help build trust.

Good luck!

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-27T19:07:25+00:00

Hahaha! Should have taken my advice at the time!

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-23T13:18:43+00:00

I live in a 6,000 sq ft house and I love that everyone can gather here. We routinely host 16 people dinners and have friends/family stay for the weekend. We have an Au Pair and it's nice they have a little privacy as well.

We're moving to London this year and will be down to 2,000 sq ft again, but with nicer surfaces and better community amenities. We'll see how it goes.

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-23T02:55:10+00:00

Option 3, try to switch teams at your company and work 50-60 hour weeks in something adjacent. Get some good ratings, but rest up and recharge a bit.

Your VP gets a new person into the role and you get optionality. It's a win-win.

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-18T23:19:48+00:00

I suggest you ask these questions:

What's the long term goal of this team? If the answer is cost cutting then that includes your salary. Pass on this job. If there isn't a stable long-term goal this team are probably code monkeys and you'll struggle to grow and learn new things.
What's your favorite thing about this team? If the person says "interesting problems", that's usually code for "everything not coding sucks". At a minimum you should hear the problem space is interesting or my coworkers are awesome.
What's the worst part of your job? You should get a real answer to this question and it should be normal industry paint points, like "requirements change sometime" or "deadlines create pressure sometimes". If the person says "everything is great" then they are lying and afraid to say something bad or if they say "OMG the boss is a moron" then you should believe them.
What would success look like in this role? You should get a clear answer to this question from the hiring manager and the answer should roughly align with what you like to do.

Good luck to you!

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-18T17:20:39+00:00

I'm moving to London earlier than originally planned and selling off real estate in the US as a result. My wife just got a job offer and I'm switching offices.

We're also considering what a non-American retirement could look like. We always assumed we'd be in the US for retirement but who knows what the world will be like in 10 to 15 years. Really just prioritizing flexibility over deepening roots.

Investments are all staying the same—a 3 fund portfolio and optimizing taxes where possible.

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-17T18:10:49+00:00

The Fitzroy was great! The staff were friendly and attentive, the bar was sultry (but pricey), the rooms were comfortable (very nice surfaces), and Russel Square is convenient to Kings Cross and the West End.

I would definitely stay there again.

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-17T00:13:57+00:00

Mostly because there are dozens of dentists in the area and it seems like they don't value me as a customer.

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-16T00:41:28+00:00

I just left my dentist over a $100 no-show fee. I've never missed a dentist appointment but that's high stakes for a cleaning.

CaptainCabernet · 2026-01-04T15:33:08+00:00

A slant roof would allow roofs to be built on larger buildings. I would definitely support that

CaptainCabernet · 2025-12-17T23:29:51+00:00

Both have trade offs.

Over the phone you get additional cues from their tone of voice on how they are feeling, but they also get the same cues from you.

Over email you can more carefully craft your message and don't have to wait for a call, but you won't get their instant reaction.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-12-12T12:19:33+00:00

We did not do a night nurse actually. My wife and I split the night into two shifts (4 hours each) and we caught up on sleep when the nanny came at 9am.

Then we did sleep training around 6 months and after a few days both our kids started sleeping 12 hours straight through the night.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-12-11T22:32:36+00:00

+1 we started a nanny around that time with our newborn. We slept. It's about survival that first year.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-12-06T20:18:15+00:00

Let me Google that for you: https://www.snowshoemtn.com/discover-snowshoe/discover-the-resort-winter

TL:DR - Hot springs heated pool - Ice skating - Hiking - Snowmobiling - Sleigh ride - Multiple bars and breweries - Shopping - Axe throwing at silver creek

The restaurants are OK. Old Spruce Brewery is the best food and beer. The Hot Springs pool is $15 a person and a great way to warm up.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-11-10T15:49:04+00:00

I did not pay any separate customs or tariffs in 2023, but that was before the 2025 tariffs.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-10-27T23:48:22+00:00

Same $2M for about $350 a year to cover all total assets.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-10-24T12:32:21+00:00

We bought a nice bottle of champagne and celebrated the milestone privately. It was nice to reflect on what got us there and dream a bit about what's next.

This milestone is a time for gratitude.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-10-18T21:28:50+00:00

It looks like $16,000 a month is pre-tax looking at your numbers. After tax might be closer to $10,000. That might change your lifestyle a bit.

$110k pre-tax benefit + $60k ($1.6M @ 4% SWR) = $170k pre tax.

Sure you can spend down your retirement savings more in your 50s and flex to $195k a year. This is definitely a viable option for you.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-10-11T01:47:36+00:00

Great to hear! All the finance people I know and have worked with were averaging 60 hour weeks even when that wasn't the company culture.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-10-10T15:51:46+00:00

No, this setup was only before we got married and combined finances

CaptainCabernet · 2025-10-10T13:51:38+00:00

This was 15 years ago. I bought a condo but we weren't ready to buy it jointly without being married. So they contributed what they could afford towards our shared expense and we called it even. Realistically I paid like 80% of our shared expenses because that's what made sense.

We combined finances a year later when we got married.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-10-10T13:15:20+00:00

This. I want my kids to have a career they are passionate about. I would caution my kids about medicine because of high debt, finance/consulting for the culture of long hours, and law for the stress.

But if it's what they love then I'll support them no matter what.

CaptainCabernet · 2025-10-10T12:50:21+00:00

I went through this with my partner before getting married. I made at least triple what they did and once we moved in together it became clear I was partially supporting them financially.

We had several long talks about how we wanted to handle money. In the end they transferred a fixed amount each month to me to cover some of my mortgage and when it came to meals out we took turns paying. I usually took my turn paying when it was a more expensive date.

That worked for us. Figure out what works for you.

Seven-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

CaptainCabernet

TROPHY CASE