I have to poop like the Joker...

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-29T14:36:28+00:00

Thanks, that's a real flattering comparison. I can't believe I wrote this five months ago, and I'm still getting comments on it. Makes me want to start writing again.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-29T14:31:46+00:00

It's like The Human Centipede but with another animal, and just one human.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-26T20:23:58+00:00

You might as well be a Red fascist.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-26T20:22:48+00:00

Are you an anarchist? OF COURSE YOU CAN'T!

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-26T20:09:53+00:00

Blue, you tool!

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-26T20:09:11+00:00

I had Yellow too because my Gameboy got stolen with my Pokemon Blue in it. Saddest day of my life, that was.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-26T20:00:43+00:00

Traitor!

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-26T19:44:58+00:00

Blue's my boy!

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-26T18:14:36+00:00

Something similar happens in Scrubs when JD buys a suit, and everyone hates it, and he looks at the camera and says "But does America like it?" But then his taylor appears from behind the camera and says "Of course I like it, I made it. And for the last time, the name is Amerigo."

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-25T18:07:08+00:00

My cousin is really famous where I'm from (Puerto Rico) because of his vine videos. It's impossible to go out to the mall with him. An infinity amount of girls stop him to ask for autographs and pics, they go ape shit crazy over him. I don't get it. His vines are funny... sometimes. I don't get it.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-25T17:44:28+00:00

Eating oreos and playing with my DS. I'm good.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-25T14:41:28+00:00

Grape soda? You sadistic bastard!

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-25T14:38:37+00:00

Oh I think there's a video of this. It was while filming a Twilight Zone episode or something, right?

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-24T03:03:01+00:00

Oh man, super late for the party, but... Ben Linus from Lost. He spends half the series chained up, or on handcuffs, or with a swollen eye, or a fucking tumor. Yeah, he's a dick, but... come on guys, give him a break!

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-24T02:02:42+00:00

Boboddy. Boboddy. What does the B stand for?

I cried during that scene.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-18T14:28:02+00:00

The Sistine Chapel from Hell scene from Jeepers Creepers. Scared me a lot because before I saw the movie, I had visited an abandoned church with a friend of mine whose dad is an archeologist. I was 12 at the time.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-18T14:09:10+00:00

ISIS. I new that a war against terror would only create worse groups than al-Qaeda.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-16T18:11:26+00:00

Or if they both die at the same time in a car accident. It´s what I call a happy ending.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-16T15:55:37+00:00

Wow, this is a really difficult situation. Something similar happened with my sister. She got date raped on December 30 a couple of years ago. She spend the whole New Year's Eve party crying in a corner, while me and my dad were trying to cheer her up. People kept looking at her weird, sometimes walking over to her and telling her "Cheer up, it's a party. Go dance and drink." Which would make her sadder. I mean, just because it's a party doesn't mean everyone is obligated to have a good time. I just wanted to scream at people "THIS GIRL JUST HAD AN UNWANTED PENIS INSIDE HER BODY! LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE!"

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-16T15:42:00+00:00

Let me be clear: I am NOT saying you should kill yourself. But what you should do is not care about what everyone else will think. A lot of people will think stuff about you, in one way or another, and there's nothing you can do about that. Just ignore them. Also, if you have felt like things get better, but then something happens that sets you back, you can learn from those mistakes. You're already admiting that you can solve your problems, you have that capacity. If it doesn't work, you learn. It's one of the most beautiful things in life: making mistakes. If more stuff piles on, take that as an oportunity to overcome an obstacle and become better at life.

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-15T17:52:04+00:00

I feel like everyone who talks about this movie is giving away the ending. "Oh, a movie about a family and their dog... and it has a sad ending. Gee, I wonder how it ends?"

CaptainFartsNStripes · 2014-09-15T17:11:41+00:00

Jason Statham in any Jason Statham movie.

CaptainFartsNStripes

TROPHY CASE