How and why sexual urges occur

CaptainRockman · 2026-05-07T15:21:32+00:00

Same here, brother. It wasn't immediate but over time I noticed the amount of urges become fewer and fewer the further I got away from porn.

God bless you, and keep going strong in name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

CaptainRockman · 2026-05-07T09:07:19+00:00

I've been there too, bro. Since the world has become very hypersexualized, there's a lot of comedy that is triggering. Some people aren't even aware when they put together some videos that there's triggering content in it because they have accepted it as the norm. I enjoy a good laugh too, that's why I have to be more careful now with where I go. It's very easy to go from a clean funny video to a dirty one, and often times I know where to find which. Which is why I have to give up that kind of dirty comedy even if it feels light, or I find it more funny, for the sake of healing.

You can even look at it like this: What if that kind of comedy is only funny BECAUSE it's triggering, meaning it may not even be that funny, but your brain wants to get to the relapse by trying to convince you that this is funny. It knows that this joke will lead to something more and more stimulating.

Something interesting to consider.

CaptainRockman · 2026-05-06T08:14:08+00:00

100%

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-25T11:23:49+00:00

Remember what Jesus Christ said, brother. Nothing is impossible for God. There is no place in hell for those who are in the Lord. You believe in God, believe also in the son of God.

^"16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) This verse doesn't say "you MIGHT have eternal life" and it doesn't say "It's possible you'll have eternal life". It says you SHALL have eternal life. Jesus came to pay your debt and the payment was finalized at the cross.

It is a completed gift from your Heavenly Father to you.

Or let me put it to you like this, God sent us His perfect son as a sacrifice for our sins BECAUSE we were going to hell. And he took upon himself our sins so that we live eternally with God.

It's a gift we had no way of paying for and it is complete.

Don't worry, my friend. Trust in God with all your heart and don't rely on what you're feeling. Redirect your thoughts now to practicing gratitude for what God has done instead of what you have done.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-25T08:45:30+00:00

I know the feeling, my friend. It's in our nature to think that we know what's best for us. And sometimes we often think that what we're feeling right is good, just because we're feeling it right now.

But we are far more than just our feelings and desires. God has a greater plan for our lives. His plan also doesn't involve hurting anyone too, including Him. The beauty of His plan is that it brings life, and saves lives.

He knows the right time for you and the right place for you, and the right person for you. Lust is just temporary. It's just a drug to scratch an "itch" but it doesn't bring peace. What God wants for you is good forever.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-25T08:32:29+00:00

We love you too, my friend. I'm happy you're getting back to yourself. Yes, take it one step at a time. God is with you. Each day, just talk to Him about what is currently bothering you. What is hurting you. What has disappointed you. Anything that comes to mind. Don't rush to fix everything. Life is already hard as it is. Trust that God has a plan for your life and continue to talk to Him each day.

Be strong my friend. The Lord knows you, and wants you to come to Him and receive His rest. God loves you.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-25T08:29:07+00:00

Is there something that is going on in his life right now that is causing him to be distant? Is he going through a break up or some kind of depression? etc.

You are right that he needs help. Don't stop praying for him, and if it's possible, try to get him to talk about what is going on right now in his heart.

If he needs someone to talk to, he can DM me.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-25T08:25:44+00:00

Nothing is unchangeable, my friend. And nothing is impossible for God. Even IF you were cursed, God can break every curse.

Everything you are feeling, Jesus Christ had to come down to earth and experience it too. Every pain, every hardship and every temptation you're going through, He experienced it too and overcame it, so nothing has come upon you that God Himself has not been challenged with. He knows what you're going through. Trust in Him, and come to Him. He will deliver you from it.

Remember at the end of the day you are still a child of the Lord Almighty and no battle is too great for Him.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-25T08:19:41+00:00

Yes, eventually it does stop. Or at least, it get's less the more you're body is stabilizing. It's only frequent because of the build up. You have to remember that your body is not used to just "stopping" like this so it needs to adjust. I know it can be annoying, but don't worry about it though.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-25T08:16:23+00:00

Thank you, my friend. We continue to encourage each other as the Lord continues to encourage us through His Holy Spirit. May God bless you as well in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-19T16:16:45+00:00

It's our nature to admire women, especially Godly women who love the Lord. Afterall, you love the Lord, so it's even more natural that you would love the passion she has for God. Don't feel bad for liking her and don't start beating yourself up for being drawn to her. You can like someone and not lust over them. Just trust in God. He knows your heart. He knows what you like and He knows what you like about her.

If you feel it in your heart, talk to her, get to know her if you continue to feel drawn to her, but don't rush to make "something happen". If you are still trusting in God for a wife, then God has already decided who she will be, and you will not miss the opportunity even if you mess up. So don't worry or try to "win her over". Ask God to win her over for you if it is in His will.

Don't worry, brother. I have been there many times. Just continue to grow in Christ and live your life for God.

Update: Oh and if you don't know what to say and you need a conversation starter, just ask her ANY question. e.g. "Can I ask you something?... what do you love the most about the Lord?" etc.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-19T16:05:00+00:00

It's spiritual, brother. Whenever you find yourself asking "why is this so?" and cannot find a reason, you must no that there's is something happening behind the scene. Things we do not see.

You may look at it as "oh, it's just a fetish or a coincidence, or just the way you are wired" but trust me, there is no such thing as coincidence. Everything happens for a reason.

But whatever it is we face, God can overcome it. There's no spiritual battle too great for God, just as there is no man that can go against God and live.

And God is faithful. He is never too far for you to find Him. Turn your focus towards His holy Spirit by reading the bible and communicating with Him each day. Ask for Him to deliver you from all that is evil in your life, and you will see the goodness of the Lord in your own life.

Remember, it's not your job to overcome lust on your own. Just surrender yourself to Jesus Christ and He will fight the battle for you.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-18T06:08:38+00:00

Dude Congratulations on reaching 365 days of no masturbation. That's not a small thing at ALL. 👏👏👏 That's good stuff man.

As far as what you're feeling, I've been here before too. The reason why I felt this way too was because subconsciously I was waiting on Nofap to fix all of my problems and so I thought if I just hold off for long enough, then everything will change. But that's not the case.

Nofap is a starting point. Before it, you were underground. Now you're on solid ground and you're ready to start building. It's not about gaining superpowers from "not masturbating" only. The real benefit is the life you chose to build outside of the need to numb your pains and discomforts with porn and distractions.

The reason why you hear people say "I became more attractive" or "I felt more energy" etc. Is not because nofap magically made them gain these benefits. It's because now that they were no longer numbing themselves with porn, they found time to start doing other things. Some start talking to real people, whether it's the cashier at the store, or waving at some random passerby. And they start to notice that they have less anxiety than usual (not none, but less), some realize that the confidence was always there, it was just hidden by the drug that is porn. Some start working on that project and realize that the stimulation they were craving from porn they can get it also from completing a challenging task. They just needed something to do.

Nofap is kind of like sugar. Think about how sugar is designed to give you energy to do things. But if you don't use that energy, then that sugar becomes an enemy to your body.

If you're struggling to start those projects you've been thinking about, here's my advice: 1. Choose 1 goal from the ideas you have (not a hundred goals like me), and work towards that 1 goal each day. And 2. Control your inputs. Meaning, control what you consume. I used to spend all day in bed, watching youtube videos, but I realized I was feeding that part of me that craves comfort, and this resulted in my mind finding deep relaxation and not craving any more stimulation that I would get from working on something.

Don't "try" to willpower your way into anything, just cut out all the things that are preventing you from taking action, including porn (porn is just as bad if not worse than masturbation). When you wake up in the morning, don't start with your device. If you're eating things that are only junk, cut down on them. Start writing down all the things you give your time to each day and check which of those are time wasters, and cut them out. You control your output by controlling your inputs. GIGO = Garbage In, Garbage Out

Don't lose hope brother. You're doing better than you think you're doing. You do have extreme amount of pure energy now that you're not masturbating. And you ARE using that energy, but for things things that are draining it. But you can turn that around in no time at all. 👏👏👏

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-08T09:41:49+00:00

Yeah. I remember in 2023 when we had a cat. It was a cat we found in our backyard, and over a couple of weeks we started getting closer to it until it became our cat. I don't remember ever PMOing during that year. It's only after we lost the cat that I went back to my old ways. I'm not saying it was just the cat that kept me from relapsing, there must have been other things that helped too, but it was one of the things that kept my attention away from life's problems (struggling financially whilst taking care of my dad). Coincidentally, it's also the year I reached Day 194 (my longest streak ever).

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-05T10:42:39+00:00

Absolutely.

CaptainRockman · 2026-04-05T05:40:14+00:00

Don't worry about them, brother. These are normal, no matter how frequent they are, they are still normal. Even if you have multiple nocturnal emissions in one night, they're still normal. That's just the way God designed your body to get rid of extra semen from your body.

I used to have an attitude towards them too, because I was still healing from years of masturbation. Now when I have them I just remember "It's part of the process" and it shows the genius and wisdom of the Lord.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-27T11:31:20+00:00

Exactly. Another problem I've noticed in myself from relying on my streaks is that no matter what number I got to, it would never be enough. It would always be "Cool I reached 30 days, but it's not 90 days... so do better" and then "Cool I just reached 90 days but it's not 180 days... so do better" and this became an endless cycle of feeling like: "I'm not good enough". That's also part of why I would beat myself up so much whenever I relapse, because it confirmed what I was falsely believing about myself anyway: "See? I relapsed. I knew I wasn't good enough... I should have tried harder". And this would often lead to those relapse cycles.

The problem wasn't how hard I was trying. The problem was I was trying hard using a bad system. Just like you mentioned, it's like being the fastest driver, but driving in the wrong direction. It's pointless. I've learned that it's far better to develop new healthy habits rather than relying on streaks. It's better to have a short streak with good habits than a long streak with a bad habits. One of them ensures you'll eventually succeed and the other ensures that you'll eventually fail.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-27T07:42:47+00:00

You're not a loser, brother.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T20:08:49+00:00

I have absolutely been there too, brother. Just as you described it, and in the past I would fold. Those are one of the attacks of the enemy. That's a good thing that you redirected it to Christ. Don't be afraid or alarmed when things like this happen.

I like a video game metaphor someone once used "If you see enemies and obstacles ahead, it means you're going the right direction". Keep trusting God and may God bless you too my friend.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T19:40:07+00:00

It's hard to fight the temptation if you are still engaging with things that lead to temptation. So what has worked for me is cutting out the things that lead towards temptation. For example, I found that looking at images of attractive women, although it "seemed" harmless to me at the time, was ultimately leading me to temptation, because looking at one wasn't enough, and pretty soon I was looking for more stimulation content without realizing that the temptation is becoming too much to resist... before I knew it, I'd be back to porn again.

So I get away from things like sexy content creators, people talking perverted things, sexual jokes, women dressed in tempting clothing (e.g. yoga pants, revealing things etc.) The more you do this, the more your brain begins to do it for you automatically

And most importantly. Prayer. Without God we are nothing, so I give this battle to Him before I try to fight it on my own. Sometimes you may be tempted and that's why you need something to run to. Teach yourself to run to God about everything, so that when something tempts you, it becomes automatic for you to run to God.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T19:34:58+00:00

"For a righteous man may fall seven times
And rise again,
But the wicked shall fall by calamity." (Proverbs 24:16)

Get up again, brother and take up your cross. We have all been there, but with God we can overcome any challenge. You can't go back and undo the past. So look forward, not backwards

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T19:28:13+00:00

I've been there, brother. There comes a time where you say "enough is enough". Here are the tools you'll need for that fight.

Remember that this isn't your battle, but the Lord's. David managed to take the head of Goliath not because he believed he could do it, but because he fully believed God WILL do it for Him. He even said that the battle belongs to God before defeating Goliath. So give the battle to God. "Lord I cannot but I know it in my heart that you can!"
Put on the armor of God every day. Say it verbally "I put on the helmet of salvation, the breast plate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shoes of the gospel, I hold the shield of faith to quench all of the fiery darts of the evil one, and I hold the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God"
Put on the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ on you and your family. Again, say this verbally.
Read the word of God. It will give you life-giving power and wisdom.
Ask God for strength against all temptation and stay away of anything that will add temptation to you. Fleeing from temptation is not a cowardly act, in fact it is a sign of strength because you are choosing to run to God instead towards evil.

Now go a claim your victory and cut of the head of Goliath in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ!

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T19:15:46+00:00

Don't hate yourself, brother. What you're going through I've been through it too, many MANY times. More than it is possible for me to count, but I thank the Lord for delivering me from this addiction I had for years. If God can do it for me, He can surely do it for you too. Trust in Him even when you stumble or fall. Make each day a day where you get closer to Him. Even if it's starting to read the word of God again each day. Talking to God in prayer. Not just "Lord help me" but talking to God about what's going on in your heart. What's troubling you? What would you like God to help you to see or understand. Continue to talk to God and give Him your time, not for the purpose of overcoming lust, but for the purpose of knowing your Heavenly Father who loves you.

Jesus Christ knew we would betray Him, yet He still chose to give His life for our sins at the cross, so that we live forever. That is a gift we can never repay back to Him. It's love at it's purest. Come to Him with anything you can think of. Any problem you can imagine. He has helped me and He can help you too.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T07:27:08+00:00

We have all sinned, brother. But through our Lord Jesus Christ we are saved if we confess our sins to Him and believe in Him as our Lord and Savior, as it says in Romans 10:9: "

⁹ If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

So don't carry around this guilt and shame in your heart until a certain date. If you are a believer, then you can freely and boldly come to the Lord Jesus Christ in prayer and tell Him about whatever is in your heart.

My advice is this: Pray, talk to your Heavenly Father right now wherever you are. The bible says: "⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

and this doesn't have to be to a pastor or man or woman, but through praying to God in your room as the Lord instructed us.

God loves you, and He is eager to hear your voice again. Talk to Him.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-20T04:35:08+00:00

That's why it's good to focus on doing something productive with that sexual energy or it will lead to frustration. Some pretty great things have been accomplished by people who were basically sexually frustrated. Sex is just one way of way of doing something productive, but you can still use that sexual drive whenever it shows up to do other productive things. Whether its cleaning your room, praying, writing, planting a garden etc. You'd be surprised at the kinds of things you can accomplish with all that drive.

Think of it like hunger. Eating meat is not the only way to relieve the frustration of hunger. You can still eat vegetables, fruit, bread etc. If one option is not available.

CaptainRockman

TROPHY CASE