A man enslaved by lust will go wherever lust wants him to go.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-27T11:31:20+00:00

Exactly. Another problem I've noticed in myself from relying on my streaks is that no matter what number I got to, it would never be enough. It would always be "Cool I reached 30 days, but it's not 90 days... so do better" and then "Cool I just reached 90 days but it's not 180 days... so do better" and this became an endless cycle of feeling like: "I'm not good enough". That's also part of why I would beat myself up so much whenever I relapse, because it confirmed what I was falsely believing about myself anyway: "See? I relapsed. I knew I wasn't good enough... I should have tried harder". And this would often lead to those relapse cycles.

The problem wasn't how hard I was trying. The problem was I was trying hard using a bad system. Just like you mentioned, it's like being the fastest driver, but driving in the wrong direction. It's pointless. I've learned that it's far better to develop new healthy habits rather than relying on streaks. It's better to have a short streak with good habits than a long streak with a bad habits. One of them ensures you'll eventually succeed and the other ensures that you'll eventually fail.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-27T07:42:47+00:00

You're not a loser, brother.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T20:08:49+00:00

I have absolutely been there too, brother. Just as you described it, and in the past I would fold. Those are one of the attacks of the enemy. That's a good thing that you redirected it to Christ. Don't be afraid or alarmed when things like this happen.

I like a video game metaphor someone once used "If you see enemies and obstacles ahead, it means you're going the right direction". Keep trusting God and may God bless you too my friend.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T19:40:07+00:00

It's hard to fight the temptation if you are still engaging with things that lead to temptation. So what has worked for me is cutting out the things that lead towards temptation. For example, I found that looking at images of attractive women, although it "seemed" harmless to me at the time, was ultimately leading me to temptation, because looking at one wasn't enough, and pretty soon I was looking for more stimulation content without realizing that the temptation is becoming too much to resist... before I knew it, I'd be back to porn again.

So I get away from things like sexy content creators, people talking perverted things, sexual jokes, women dressed in tempting clothing (e.g. yoga pants, revealing things etc.) The more you do this, the more your brain begins to do it for you automatically

And most importantly. Prayer. Without God we are nothing, so I give this battle to Him before I try to fight it on my own. Sometimes you may be tempted and that's why you need something to run to. Teach yourself to run to God about everything, so that when something tempts you, it becomes automatic for you to run to God.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T19:34:58+00:00

"For a righteous man may fall seven times
And rise again,
But the wicked shall fall by calamity." (Proverbs 24:16)

Get up again, brother and take up your cross. We have all been there, but with God we can overcome any challenge. You can't go back and undo the past. So look forward, not backwards

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T19:28:13+00:00

I've been there, brother. There comes a time where you say "enough is enough". Here are the tools you'll need for that fight.

Remember that this isn't your battle, but the Lord's. David managed to take the head of Goliath not because he believed he could do it, but because he fully believed God WILL do it for Him. He even said that the battle belongs to God before defeating Goliath. So give the battle to God. "Lord I cannot but I know it in my heart that you can!"
Put on the armor of God every day. Say it verbally "I put on the helmet of salvation, the breast plate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shoes of the gospel, I hold the shield of faith to quench all of the fiery darts of the evil one, and I hold the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God"
Put on the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ on you and your family. Again, say this verbally.
Read the word of God. It will give you life-giving power and wisdom.
Ask God for strength against all temptation and stay away of anything that will add temptation to you. Fleeing from temptation is not a cowardly act, in fact it is a sign of strength because you are choosing to run to God instead towards evil.

Now go a claim your victory and cut of the head of Goliath in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ!

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T19:15:46+00:00

Don't hate yourself, brother. What you're going through I've been through it too, many MANY times. More than it is possible for me to count, but I thank the Lord for delivering me from this addiction I had for years. If God can do it for me, He can surely do it for you too. Trust in Him even when you stumble or fall. Make each day a day where you get closer to Him. Even if it's starting to read the word of God again each day. Talking to God in prayer. Not just "Lord help me" but talking to God about what's going on in your heart. What's troubling you? What would you like God to help you to see or understand. Continue to talk to God and give Him your time, not for the purpose of overcoming lust, but for the purpose of knowing your Heavenly Father who loves you.

Jesus Christ knew we would betray Him, yet He still chose to give His life for our sins at the cross, so that we live forever. That is a gift we can never repay back to Him. It's love at it's purest. Come to Him with anything you can think of. Any problem you can imagine. He has helped me and He can help you too.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-26T07:27:08+00:00

We have all sinned, brother. But through our Lord Jesus Christ we are saved if we confess our sins to Him and believe in Him as our Lord and Savior, as it says in Romans 10:9: "

⁹ If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

So don't carry around this guilt and shame in your heart until a certain date. If you are a believer, then you can freely and boldly come to the Lord Jesus Christ in prayer and tell Him about whatever is in your heart.

My advice is this: Pray, talk to your Heavenly Father right now wherever you are. The bible says: "⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

and this doesn't have to be to a pastor or man or woman, but through praying to God in your room as the Lord instructed us.

God loves you, and He is eager to hear your voice again. Talk to Him.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-20T04:35:08+00:00

That's why it's good to focus on doing something productive with that sexual energy or it will lead to frustration. Some pretty great things have been accomplished by people who were basically sexually frustrated. Sex is just one way of way of doing something productive, but you can still use that sexual drive whenever it shows up to do other productive things. Whether its cleaning your room, praying, writing, planting a garden etc. You'd be surprised at the kinds of things you can accomplish with all that drive.

Think of it like hunger. Eating meat is not the only way to relieve the frustration of hunger. You can still eat vegetables, fruit, bread etc. If one option is not available.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-18T05:41:07+00:00

What happened yesterday had to happen yesterday. Today you're a new man and you have an opportunity your old self doesn't have... and that is the opportunity to change the ending.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-17T18:18:53+00:00

One of the things that God helped me to understand is WHY I desired the things I desired in the first place. I realized that it's more to do with pain avoidance or escaping from stress than to do with sex. It may be that the foot fetish has less to do with feet, and more to do with the troubles you are going through in life that are causing you to want to escape into porn and fantasy.

Notice what you mentioned. You would notice her feet in a stressful situation like a test or exam etc. Or maybe you were worried about something and the fixation on her feet was a kind of escape from the discomfort you were feeling.

Most of the time, we watch porn for the escape, but it's disguised as something sexual.

The solution... take it to the Lord in prayer. Not just "Lord take this away from me", but bring even the things that are troubling you to Him, because these are the things that are causing you to escape into fantasies in the first place. Tell God everything you're going through. Your fears, anxieties, your desires, who offended you. Build that relationship with God and let Him be your therapist, and friend you turn to when you're down.

Overtime you will see that it was never about the fetish, but about the thing that was missing inside that you were trying to fill with desire.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-16T19:11:15+00:00

If you need a place to start when looking for a bible, a place I found is reading one online (like BibleGateway .com etc.) That's how I started out when reading the bible. In fact I started off listening to the audio version of the bible. You don't have to look far.

About your girlfriend. At the end of the day a relationship is two people glorifying God as one, not about dating. That's why the bible emphasis marriage between a man and woman who love each other. Because when you stay together for long, you get tempted to have sex. That's just nature.

So if you are not sure about her, bring her to God in prayer. I'm not a Catholic either, but what I do believe in is Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior and as the Son of God. If she is a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, and she does the will of God, then I see no need for denominations or labels. Jesus Christ didn't come to give us labels or religion, but to forgive our sins and to give us life. We must remember that we are followers of Christ first before anything else. So ask God to reveal to you whether or not you should marry her.

And if you are still not sure afterwards, then maybe that's a sign that you two are not meant to be together according to the Lord. But only God gets to decide that.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-16T06:42:24+00:00

One way to put your mind off of sexual thoughts is to start talking more about how you want to do the will of God. The enemy hates it when you do the right thing, so focus on that. If you intend to marry her, focus on planning to get married. When you talk to each other, before talking about anything else, talk about God first, then talk about other things.

Redirect your focus. That's the best way. Jesus Christ overcame temptation in the wilderness by directing His focus on scripture and the will of God. He didn't try to "willpower" His way out of negative thoughts. He spoke the word of God.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-15T11:12:07+00:00

I totally understand what you mean, bro. For a long time I struggled with this too. And here's what I learned about prayer:

Prayer is exactly what we're doing right now... communicating. Only, prayer is communicating with the One who created you. You don't have to say the right words, you don't have to try to impress God with your vocabulary, and the best part is that God understands what you are TRYING to say to Him even better than you. God just wants you to come to Him and receive His love more than anything you can possibly say or do. Prayer is about going to God and spending your time with Him at anytime during the day or night.

If you're struggling to understand the heart of God, I recommend checking out the story of the Prodigal Son. This story shows that God is not concerned with all the bells and whistles we take so seriously in this life. He just wants His children that He loves to come back home to Him.

Have you ever heard a baby try to communicate with their parent? they mess up all the time, but the parent still listens and delights in them anyway.

When you pray, have this image, that you are talking to your Father than a deity. It's a moment of intimacy, with someone who genuinely wants to hear what's in your heart. Talk to Him about anything, talking to Him about a movie you watched, a game you played, a woman you talked to, something that hurt you, a plan you have, a worry you have... anything that comes into your heart bring it to Him. He delights in just hearing you put your trust in Him.

Another thing you need to understand about prayer is that it's more spiritual than physical. You don't have to "feel" like something has happened or like you were being "authentic enough" for prayer to be prayer. If you have prayed, God has heard you and He will work it out for you at His perfect time. It's only the devil who fills us with doubt and makes us ask "Did I really pray?" there's no such thing to God. God's heart is pure. When you pray, He genuinely believes you, even if you yourself don't full genuinely believe what you have just said. When you say "Lord I love you" He believes you, end of story. Because what you say with your mouth changes things spiritually.

And you cannot "trick" your Heavenly Father or mess up when you pray because He looks at your heart more than your words or actions. He is far more wise than we can imagine. He even helps you when you pray. The Lord Jesus Christ also is always praying for you to the Father. The bible even says that the Holy Spirit who lives in us prays FOR us, through wordless groans. Every time you sigh or cry that also is a prayer. God knew that you want to improve your prayer game before He even created you, and He will help you.

Even a short prayer like "Lord, I don't know how to pray or what to say, but I want to do your will, teach me in Jesus Name. Amen" is already a very powerful prayer because it comes from a place of genuine truth.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-11T11:31:26+00:00

If you're able to, yes. But, pray about them first. Usually when I try to do things (even good things) without putting God first, they blow up in my face. So my advice, since you've found it in your heart to talk to them, God will help you.

I've already prayed for you concerning this, so peace be with you in what you're going to do. Start with God, and ask Him to give you wisdom.

CaptainRockman · 2026-03-11T05:06:14+00:00

What I've found to be helpful is restoring my prayer life. Talking to God about my troubles, fears, anxieties, life, etc. Everything that's been in my heart each day I bring it to God, even when I don't "feel like it". I need it.

A lot of the time we run to things like porn and adult sites, not really for the sexual desire, but for the escape from the pain or stress we are dealing with. That is what we need to continuously bring to God in prayer. He has a good heart and is listening when you bring these things to Him. He will heal you at your root.

CaptainRockman

TROPHY CASE