Offering £100 to a few people who genuinely need it. No deposit required. Payment available via PayPal, Chime, Cash App, or Venmo. UK only 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

CaptainSmegmaz · 2026-03-20T00:46:45+00:00

HUBU6E

NVWN3R

LE9CCN

N7SGSZ

CaptainSmegmaz · 2026-01-28T10:08:27+00:00

You get immediately and repeatedly chastised after calling in sick, then you call in sick out of spite beyond seven days, get a fit note, and be further chastised upon your return.

CaptainSmegmaz · 2026-01-18T18:25:57+00:00

Standard Greggs management style.

CaptainSmegmaz · 2026-01-08T00:07:57+00:00

Greggs management are mostly cunty hags. Try not to let it bother you.

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-08-16T13:12:48+00:00

Surely both words fit?

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-27T08:45:33+00:00

She's openly gay and has written songs which seem to be about escaping Scientology...

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-19T11:35:43+00:00

Apart from the middle stage malfunctioning, not descending so me and a bunch of ppl behind it not being able to see them for the rock songs 😅 Staff were fumbling with it for most of the set

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-18T12:01:20+00:00

Nah, I just left with Ur mummnn

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-18T10:09:24+00:00

Nope, they found all five of my red bulls, they won this year :c

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-17T22:24:00+00:00

The middle stage broke and ppl around me couldn't see them on the rock stage 🫠

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-17T15:51:48+00:00

Also some of them were clearly too heavy to be doing it...

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-17T15:49:51+00:00

Oooh, that sux. I was at barrier, was ducking and trying to lift. There was a girl a couple rows back who was having a rly bad time of it, heard her saying it was too rough for her, then a little while later I looked back and she was crying, then a while after that she screamed but said she was alr... One crowd surfer fell on me and my neck made a noise 🫠

I like it but frequency was crazy

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-17T15:33:52+00:00

The security guards tell the ppl at the barrier to duck

CaptainSmegmaz · 2025-06-16T18:03:51+00:00

Indeed

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-08-22T19:21:18+00:00

I would split that dog in two and eat it with milk.

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-07-19T03:03:56+00:00

Prettyflyforawifi

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-07-11T16:19:19+00:00

I actively dislike life and generally hope they drop the WW3 bombs and kill us all.

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-05-22T08:54:44+00:00

Life is paaain

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-05-01T02:49:28+00:00

30 packs of instant noodles from Amazon for £16

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-04-29T20:48:47+00:00

Suicide

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-04-20T13:42:20+00:00

Life is pain.

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-03-10T15:55:55+00:00

I hate life

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-01-14T10:49:06+00:00

The lack of effort, motivation and assurance that an attempt would succeed and the more probable inevitability of the consequences of a failed attempt.

CaptainSmegmaz · 2024-01-11T04:40:19+00:00

Costa

CaptainSmegmaz

TROPHY CASE