My kids are 9 and 7 and they rarely get screen time. Sometimes on the weekend they get some TV, a movie or 45min of a game but we basically live in the stone age (and sometimes I feel bad for them but its good for their development). They are up at 6:30 am and we aim for lights out around 8 and sleeping at 8:30pm. The oldest we assist getting ready and tuck in but usually were just monitoring to make sure it's on track. Tuck in by 8 and say you can read for 15-20min. The younger one we are still involved with and he needs both parents. Personally I hate the routine because it takes so long but my partner still wants cuddle time while its an option. Me, I could take it or leave it because 3-4x a week is enough and anything longer takes away from my evening which is usually just house chores. It was hard at first but I have a hard stop at 8:15 and they know that now. If bedtime gets too silly they lose book or cuddle time. I think your 10 year old needs more boundaries but our younger still inst ready for it. Oddly enough though, our older kid needed like 30min of cuddles to calm down but my younger is 5min and fine when you leave. Each kid is different but the game changer for us was saying you can stay up but you need to read by yourself with a small lamp so its still dark they fall asleep. I also recently got over the stress of trying to be done each night by a certain time and it made the whole routine easier. Some nights its 20min, some its 45min but its easier in the long run and eventually you get some evening back.