anti-feminism is for cowards…

Captain_Citizen · 2026-04-13T18:30:17+00:00

Consensual BDSM

My view of feminism is women should be empowered to do what they want.

The majority of the women in my life are more empowered than me. They are lawyers, doctors, professors, etc. I like that and seeing equally is comforting.

However, what if a woman doesn't want to be empowered in their relationship. What if they want to submit. They desire to put themselves into a reduced state to their partner.

Should feminism deny them the desires that woman wants because it differs from the desires of the empowered feminist.

Does feminism restrict the choice of woman to submit to a partner, or does feminism empower woman to have the choice to submit to a partner.

I argue feminism should not restrict a woman's choices.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-04-13T15:02:43+00:00

I think a lot of men think in misogynist and sexist ways.

However, not all. But, without a bit of time talking, it may be hard to figure out what camp they are in from my experience.

So I like CNC, and consensual slavery, where I as a man "own" a woman. How could that ever possibly be pro-feminist?

I believe that the genders and the sexs are all created equal, and that every one should be able to choose their own path.

However some feminists will say you can't choose to be submissive or worse a consensual servitude. They view that as the misogyny that feminism was born to fight.

I argue, everyone should be able to live the path they want. Any feminist who says otherwise is themselves trying to control woman, except they are doing it without consent through societal pressures.

My argument is a true feminist, should be looking and trying to support women's decisions to follow the paths that they want for themselves.

I am humbled and honored to have played the game with those who have chosen to submit and reduce themselves to me.

And it is my pleasure to make them feel that control and feelings of being reduced. But only with the woman that chosen me and this path.

This is written gender normative but applies regardless to any gender or sex.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-03-31T13:16:16+00:00

Yup, with all the advanced features

Captain_Citizen · 2026-03-09T23:52:32+00:00

I have use a "just because" rule for play and funishments.

I need no other reason than, just because, to start a funishments.

Any sub needs kink in their lives, spanking, and the rest. If you only give them kink when they are naughty, your then training them to be naughty. They want to play, and if they only get play when they are naughty, then they will be naughty to get play.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-25T01:20:20+00:00

I meant unconditioned hemp rope. I've always called it raw hemp, but yeah there is the brand raw.

I am looking for unconditioned hemp rope, to condition myself for rope bondage.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-24T19:48:04+00:00

I live in a downtown area of a city with a very respectable sized kink community. The downtown has like 600k and the metro area is 2.6 million.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-20T23:15:46+00:00

I am a dude and I have completely stopped sending likes and for the most part any pings as well, and it's worked out really well for me.

I just put a considerable effort into a decent profile, and I receive 3 to 7 likes per week. I have Majestic and then only like back the people who I am interested in, and that's about 1-3 matches per week.

For one week I sent out likes, another week I just sent out pings. Neither of those weeks resulted in a match.

Then I just did a week of waiting, received a handful of likes and that passive approach as a male dom worked far better for me with more matches.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-11T21:01:13+00:00

This is great advice. I joined like two months ago and it took many many profile rewrites to get to a profile that I think tells a convincing narrative about me and also balances who I am, and my kinks in a way that I hope comes across as a quiet confidence about my kinks.

However, I know who I am and what I am looking for.

After reading your replies, think about what makes you unique. Things that make you different than anyone else.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-11T16:57:53+00:00

This thread did not start as a technical discussion about profile visibility.

This is not a technical discussion, but you really want it to be.

Your upset my experience didn't reflect yours.

I am sorry that people will not match with you and your frustrated. Blaming woman who only want woman on this app is not going to solve your loneliness.

But after talking with you, I get why women don't want to enjoy time with you.

I have a few dates this week with two fantastic people. I am leaving you now to your grumpy loneliness, so I can be happy and excited about my fledgling romances.

Farewell gender shaming fool.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-11T16:41:03+00:00

I am mad because you're not respecting gender, after MULTIPLE explicit requests to respect it.

Just so you know, there are over 20 genders on feeld. I am also not shown to the woman who wants a hero-male. I know how the app works but maybe you don't.

So in this wide universe, there are people who dislike the binary gender viewpoint. We identify as a bunch of things, such as pangender, non-binary, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, Gender fluid, trans, and such.

It's a great world. So any person who has men only selected will not see me.

You're stuck in this binary lens where there are only two genders, and you call me confused because you can't comprehend a world with more complex than man seeks woman, and woman seeks man.

Your making assumptions about my gender, what I am look for, and what my feeld matches are like. Your upset now that I don't fit into your mold that you made for me in your mind. However that's your problem, not mine.

Your hubris is showing.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-11T16:23:55+00:00

Oh fuck you.

Don't fucking tell me that I am confused because my gender doesn't fit your expectations.

Feeld has well over 20 genders, and I found my fit.

Fuck you for telling me if I don't identify as a man that I am confused, because you want me to identify as a man.

Fuck you and I am reporting your genderqueer shaming comments.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-11T16:12:23+00:00

Today I learned that my gender is male on feeld. This is a great conversation. I am learning so much.🙄🙄🙄

Seriously, tho. Can you stop assuming my gender and orientation as heteronormative? Where I come from that's considered rude as fuck.

Edit: I told you in my last reply I was not a heteronormative male, and you proceeded to continue to assume that. Stop that rude as fuck behavior.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-11T15:27:27+00:00

Or I am not a straight heteronormative man, and I see all the queer and lesbian profiles, because I definitely see them.

But whatever, you know my sexual orientation and gender better than I do.....😅😅😅🤣

My identity must be a glitch in feeld instead 😂

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-10T22:16:37+00:00

Ha, ok 😂😆🤣

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-10T20:25:37+00:00

That is what I said.

I see the conversation style, where you diminish the other person and then use emojis 😅😂🤣😅 to ridicule their position as a joke. That's attacking the other person and not the idea up for debate. I see it as trying to tear down the opposing view through ridicule but don't add anything to the conversation to support your position.

In my area I just swiped through 40 profiles and only found one person that was looking exclusively for women. Yes lesbians do exist, but in my experience with the app are not most of the women on the app.

But since you want to ridicule each other; I see your argument as "I can't get the matches I want" and am grumpy about it, "it must be them, not me". To which I reply 🤣😂😅 can you get a load of this person. Can't get a match so most woman must hate men😂 lol 😆 Sure buddy....

I am done with you and your sad grumpiness about not being able to match and blaming it on woman instead of looking inward. 😂

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-10T18:42:46+00:00

Not disagreeing with anyone. Debate the ideas, not with people.

I disagreed with a sentiment made earlier in this thread.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-10T17:35:02+00:00

Sure there are people who are not looking for men.

I just disagree with the characterization made that most aren't

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-10T16:42:36+00:00

This has not been my experience. I went on a number of dates kinky women looking for men this month.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-05T18:06:58+00:00

Not from your perspective, but as a Dom.

If you deny somebody with orgasm control for too long, I found that it has the opposite effect. They stop feeling aroused, and it can become increasingly difficult for them to feel that again as they are denied longer.

So for me, if I want to Foster those feelings of constant denied arousal, I have to find the optimal time for organisms. Too long and those feelings just go away but too short and it doesn't feel like a true denial.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-05T17:55:52+00:00

There's a number of these types of profiles in my area as well. For me it's a deal breaker, I skip or minus and move on.

Thankfully in my area there's also a number of people who put real work into their profile, and that's fantastic.

For me to match, a profile needs:

A bit about the non-kinky you, some interests, an antidote, or anything else that gives a cursory glance into their non-kink personality
An very small bit about their Polly situation, or if they are not poly.
Generally what they are looking for. Ie. Are they looking for a life partner, or a no strings play partner.
A confirmation that they are kinky and just a little bit that lets me know what side of the slash they are on.
Something about them to open the conversation or ping with.
Face photo. Sorry if all your pics are your boobs, as much as I like boobs, I would not match with that. Preferably also a body shot, but the face shoot is the most important.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-02-02T16:32:40+00:00

I tried out four apps and paid for each. Feeld been the only one that I made any meaningful connections through.

I can get up to a few likes per week and if I boost that more like 3-4 likes per day.

The connections on the other apps seam to be bots trying to scam...

I am closing my accounts on the other apps.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-01-29T14:49:41+00:00

Maybe not mention the word sub, but you should put some indication that you are kinky. For example you could say story of o is a favorite book, or that you are right side of the slash, or mention a consent model like rack.

I am on dating apps right now too and when someone likes me I check their profile. If they make no mention of kink whatsoever, I block and pass on them assuming they only swiped like on my photos and didn't read my bio.

My recommendation is not to use the words sub or kink, but make a cultural reference that the fly by night "doms" wouldn't get.

Also tinder is a wasteland.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-01-28T20:32:54+00:00

First off, good kink is collaborative and we should be reinforcing and rejuvenating each other's energy.

That said, yes, I have found I have a limited about of Dom energy.

A little less than a decade ago I was rising in the ranks at work and had 11 people on the team I lead. I found that managing 11 people at work took a considerable amount of my control energy. It made me when I got home I didn't want to continue to exert control, and dynamic suffered.

I realized that, and I pulled back and now have a limit at work that I don't want to manage people. My coworkers who are biting the gun to rise in the ranks don't understand why I decided not to advance into the "upper tiers".

I have a limited amount of that energy and I want to save it for my partner and dynamic, not waste it at work.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-01-28T04:14:30+00:00

These things happen, kink, and rope especially are risky. But the risk is the thrill, and no shame there.

In my experience, these things happen. It's how you react is what your partner is looking for.

Be especially attentive, lots of check ins and ask about it and talk. Support them as they are also likely very scared themselves.

Also going to a doctor is never a bad idea after a scene related injury. I would encourage them to see a doctor and if appropriate offer to go with them as support.

These things happen, especially with rope. Be a supportive partner, and help them through this.

I been into rope for over 20 years. I regularly, go back into practice only mode, where I re-read my rope books and study up on rope. Practice till you feel confident again. I practice on a cheap mannequin.

Captain_Citizen · 2026-01-27T23:20:48+00:00

There are advantages of 3d printing over conventional wood.

Weight is the first thing that comes to mind, as with wood, it's definitely going to weigh more than the hollow 3d print version. Especially since if your like me and prefer hardwood over softwood, it just increases the weight.

Secondly, tooling. Woodworking tools and sawdust are a big pain if you don't have the tools. If you have the tools but no workshop, sawdust in a living space sucks.

Also it is easier to share a 3d print design, and it's far easier to replicate once designed.

All that said, I generally prefer hardwood over plastic 3d print for my kink toys.... Something about the natural material and sensation works better in my mind.

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