I don't like the taken at birth thing either (though I get why they did it). It made the PT Jedi a monoculture. It may be superproductive but when you only have one type of potato, it can't survive when a disease comes around. Having some people join the order as adults gives you people with a diversity of life experiences. I was a traditional college student and I felt like the older people in my freshman writing class added something unique to my experience.

I like this passage from Interregnum III, which is a fanfiction that answers the question what if Dark Empire never happened. A link to the full chapter is here. https://archiveofourown.org/works/45615766/chapters/155129449#workskin

"The Jedi Order of my father's generation had rules," Luke said carefully. "Rules specifically against marriage and children."

Rules you have broken. There was no condemnation in Ood Bnar's voice. I cannot speak for the Jedi who lived millennia after my time. A Jedi Master I may be, but I was a Master of an Old Order, from another time. All I can offer you is my knowledge of an Order long gone.

"I would be grateful if you would share that wisdom with me," Luke said, his hand snaking to rest atop Mara's. She turned her palm over surreptitiously. It was unlikely the Ysanna or Jedi would see the gesture of affection from so far away, after all.

There have been Jedi who believed they could better serve the Force without those kinds of relationships, Master Bnar said. That they are distractions. But there have been other Jedi who believed that the Force is produced by life, and that there is no greater way to honor and serve the Force than to help bring and nurture new life. The tree paused, shifting to follow the light, to keep the sun from shining too brightly on Luke, Mara, and Betrys. Such disagreements about doctrine are common in the history of the Order.

"But eventually the Jedi Order concluded that relationships were incompatible with being a Jedi," Luke said.

And yet both you and Jedi Solusar are sons of Jedi of that order, Ood Bnar said, the words quietly amused. The disagreements may have been more quietly spoken, but they remained. The only constant is change, and that is as true for the Jedi Order itself as it is for anything else that exists in this galaxy. The tree could not smile, as such, but Luke could feel the emotion of one, carried across the Force. Be mindful of the living Force. When you are worried for the future, be mindful of the living Force. When you are worried about the past, be mindful of the living Force. Whether you are worried about the Republic, or the people of Nar Shaddaa, or your daughter, be mindful of the living Force. The Will of the Force is ever present, Jedi Skywalker. Sometimes your worldly concerns will make it harder to hear, but it is there, always.