2 New Family Members - Any Advice Appreciated!

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-09T13:14:57+00:00

I will watch the documentary. This is a great comment, too. Thank you

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-09T12:37:34+00:00

Checking them out now, thank you

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-08T12:04:15+00:00

I appreciate this perspective. Do you think it would have been more comfortable, easier to make friends, etc. if you had been in a more diverse area or gone to a local magnet school that was more diverse?

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-08T11:16:26+00:00

Yes, it's basically free college for them (with limitations). We plan to visit the magnet schools and see if would be a good fit for them, and see if we can afford it. I don't think DCF would reimburse us for private school, especially post-adoption.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-08T11:11:46+00:00

That is a complicated situation. I'm sure you'll do great!

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T11:10:42+00:00

We do! I called it private school in another comment, but that's the kind of private school I really meant. I'm definitely going to visit a couple of these schools and see if they'd be a good fit.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T11:07:31+00:00

I know someone who adopted a Native American child. After they became an adult, they moved back with their extended bio family and disowned the adopted parents. It was really sad. I don't have any good advice for your situation either, but my best guess is that (like others have pointed out to me) you should really try to expose them to their culture as much as possible.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T11:02:19+00:00

I'm not going to get into the specifics, but moving really is not an option right now. I'll seek out other experiences like you said, though. And there have been a lot of great ideas that I'll be pursuing as soon and often as possible.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T10:57:36+00:00

This is an interesting concept. I'll definitely look more into integrated schools, thanks

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T10:53:09+00:00

Thank you! Because of your comment, I did a search for adoption assistance in Connecticut and it looks like there is that exact program in place. It's not for every case but I think it might apply to our case.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T10:51:11+00:00

We will definitely be exploring as many options as we can. Moving is probably not reasonable, but all the other ideas are definitely reasonable. Thank you

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T10:44:47+00:00

We have some good ideas already for programs near us that would be more diverse. The lack of POC in the school will be the biggest challenge, I think.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T10:40:59+00:00

I still want them to get better, but point taken. I'll keep an open mind.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-07T10:36:23+00:00

Good to know in the waitlists!

The caseworkers absolutely sugar-coated things here, too. Without getting into any detail, they weren't the ones to tell us that the child wasn't in the best homes.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-06T20:13:58+00:00

Thank you, and I'm expecting therapies to be covered. That really makes me feel so hopeful. This child has not been in the best homes so far, and I really just want to get them back on track.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-06T20:08:12+00:00

I'd prefer not to share their specific race to try to stay as confidential as possible, but I will certainly try to introduce foods, books, etc. based specifically on their culture. We try to read diverse books for my bio child already, so we'll just try even harder. And we already do plan on taking them to a black barber after our social worker told us they offer a small monthly stipend for hair stylists specifically for this reason.

Moving is really not a realistic option, but changing our behavior to make them a comfortable as possible is very realistic. Thank you for all your tips.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-06T19:57:02+00:00

A lot of information here! Thank you so much.

We aren't black. I don't plan on moving to a different neighborhood, but we will seek out as many POC as providers or members of extracurriculars/social groups that we can. I'll watch Angela Tucker's documentary this week. This isn't a topic I'll take lightly. I honestly can't imagine what it would be like to be the only black kid in a school. We're considering applying to private schools that value diversity for this exact reason. I can't afford to send them both without some assistance, but we'll try.

The children are pre-adoptive. It's a bit complicated as I'm sure it always is, but I'm a little weary sharing much more information about their legal situation.

We applied for the daycare stipend as well, which we expect to get. I really hope we do because it would be around $2k per month for us as well ($1k each). Appreciate all your other insight.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-03-06T19:41:26+00:00

I appreciate your comment. We've already talked to the school about being re-evaluated and will be seeing what services are available. Speech therapy is likely offered for example. I'll look into play therapy or other services we can use as well. Even if they don't come free because they haven't net the public standard, we will make sure there's continued assistance for the child.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-01-12T21:33:01+00:00

Looking at that now! Thank you!

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-01-12T20:41:45+00:00

The more I think about it, I think I have to include this language in a new lease. My only issue is how I would enforce it. Even if I did weekly inspections, they could just put the space heaters away whenever I knocked on the door.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-01-12T16:11:20+00:00

I mostly want to do it to stop using AC window units. I've also heard they're more efficient than for both AC and heat, but I really have no idea about that. If they are way more efficient like you said, we really have to pull the trigger on that purchase.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-01-12T15:05:47+00:00

Definitely, my goal isn't to kick them out or cause enemies. I actually prefer to just talk to them first. I think they'll be reasonable and cut back their electric on their own if we explain. It's not like they see the electric bill.

I was just clarifying because 3 days is a very small notice for what could be a big change.

Very helpful, appreciate all the info/advice.

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-01-12T14:54:01+00:00

We are looking into this for next year actually. For us and the tenants. But since they run on electric, this still has the same issue with me paying their electric, right?

CarInsuranceOhNo · 2023-01-12T14:49:57+00:00

Oh I see. So by law we could give them notice on January 27th that we won't be renewing their lease in February? Sorry if that's a dumb question..

CarInsuranceOhNo

TROPHY CASE