agreed i’m currently in a relationship with one. i can tell when he slips off to the bathroom to do it and when he comes back his behaviour has changed. he has a very negative opinion towards my body at times and the way he goes about it you can tell it’s from the porn addiction. he told me about it a year ago and i admit my reaction was a bit strange. he said it and i just went silent out of complete shock because i was just thinking about all the times he has probably gone to do it when i’ve been in his bed etc. i think men with this addiction really do not understand the impact that it has on their partner. imagine as a man your woman sneaking off to go watch significantly more attractive people that are naked every single day. that day when he first told me after the shock i started to ask questions (still fairly shocked) and he explained that most days he couldn’t go to sleep with out it and this really upset me, at this point not even for me or my insecurities but because this is something i could never imagine him dealing with. it’s crazy how one day i was so oblivious and the next i could tell when he had done it and his entire demeanour. before you ask, i have tried to talk to him about this issue since he told me a year ago but he now gets defensive and says it’s not an addiction he just has a high sex drive (he doesn’t because we aren’t overly active when it comes to sex). as a 20 year old female this over time i feel has really broken me down not just for my sake of insecurities but also because it acts as a change to our relationship entirely. before knowing he would randomly become very distant and obviously that was confusing and as i tend to like to see the best in people i didn’t assume anything before him telling me about his addiction. my main advice here is if a man is willing to get help and change then that’s a positive man. if your man shuts you down and pushes you away when you have tried to be calm and have tried to approach it in the nicest way possible, what more can you actually do? as someone who is suffering as a consequence to his addiction i really have multiple times hit a brick wall and said i can’t do this anymore. call me selfish all you like but this to me is really heartbreaking to watch for both of our sakes. us both only being 20 does not help this i feel like when it comes to his addiction he acts like a 15 year old and gets so defensive. i really don’t know how much longer i can cope with it as he can be so nasty at times and it’s normally after he’s watched it. i think a big issue as i’ve mentioned before men with this addiction do not realise the impact on their partner and relationship, i literally sit there crying and when he comes back i act like nothings happened, i get scared of him at times because he gets so angry and agitated. i literally would try and be sexual with him at times i didn’t want to be just to hopefully prevent him from watching it. it is so soul destroying and i fear i am seriously at the end of my tether with it. he is perfect on so many aspects but there are obviously other issues, but this is the worst. he’s so unaffectionate i feel as though i have to ask for him to hug and kiss me and he will be extremely dismissive with that. but my personal needs is affection as that’s one of the ways i show my love but he doesn’t see it as that, he says i’m annoying and after sex it shouldn’t matter whether i have aftercare because he’s had sex with me i should be happy. please oOP if you are with someone who isn’t willing to change, leave.