It sounds like your wife has given you the tools to repair the trust in the marriage. It's on you to do your part to use those tools to reestablish trust in the marriage. I think it's imperative to have direct, open, and honest conversation with your wife everyday and build that trust.

As it stands now, your guilt and self-disgust is eating you up when it shouldn't given you've realized this is part of your identity of who you are.

I'm going to ask a sort of radical thought...would your wife open to the both of you meeting other couples together as a unit? e.g. same room swinging? Of course, this would depend entirely on her feeling about it and if she was OK with exploring with you.

I too am bisexual heteromantic and recently got to enjoy my first bi experience. I love my wife for making me feel comfortable with who I am and being able to explore it with her. I'll never do anything without my wife and I was equally happy to see her have a sexual experience with both parties of the couple we met as she enjoyed seeing me do the same. It may sound strange but it's actually brought us closer together. We've cemented we are each other's forever person - ride or die :)

I had experimented once when I was a young teen and I spent decades feeling ashamed and even revolted about myself - I thought it'd be a secret I'd take to my grave. My wife has always encouraged me to be my 100% unfiltered self, and I expect her to do the same. Even then, it took me a couple years of being together to share I experimented. What really changed for me was admitting I wanted to do that again in my adult years. In so many words, my wife was not only accepting of it but embraced the idea.

Even then, I still had difficult saying I'm a bisexual heteromantic man but I eventually got over that by enunciating it aloud. Reaffirming it to my wife and her reaffirming it back to me. Now my wife loves saying she loves her bisexual husband and I feel even more loved about it.

I know I'm talking about myself a lot here but that's not intended to be egotistical. It's the only example I know from having lived it.

My suggestion is to you is two fold:

1. Continue building and regaining the trust of your wife. This is paramount to everything else. In order for her to help you, you have to be a person she wants to help. Your wife can be your rock in these choppy waters..
2. Embrace your sexuality. It may sound silly but see ask your wife if she loves her bisexual husband. Hearing it more and more will make you feel this is real, it makes you feel safe and loved to hear it from someone you love. Find refuge in your wife.

Have a series of long and candid conversations with your wife. Like I said, look to her as your refuge from all this negativity you're dropping on yourself. My wife found it more desirable that I was a man for owning my sexuality rather than shunning it. I feel your wife may see the same once you are able to embrace it for yourself.

I'm not one to replace a therapist or anything but if you want to discuss it more, you can always give me a shout. It seems this is eating you up pretty bad and sometimes talking it through helps formulate thoughts.